Cute guy at cafe and I think I messed up and ran off?

Okay

I was at a mall today with a friend, we were at the food court/cafe area. And I saw this guy I think I found interesting (lets call him cute guy). But the problem is he was with this other friend of his (friend guy). And while I was busy looking at cute guy (and thinking of how to start a conversation). Cute guy was buying some stuff at one of the restaurants. The friend-guy came up and took the seat by the table right next to ours, before he did I swear he made it obvious that there was some intention to him sitting there. Cute guy came up eventually while me and my friend ate our lunch and contemplated on how to start a conversation with cute guy. (I'm shy when it comes to conversations)

What I didn't realize was that while I stole glances at cute guy, the friend was looking my way... I finally did catch the friends gaze and realized that he seemed interested but I wanted to talk to cute guy not the friend-guy. So after lots of planning and plotting with my friend. I decided to stay firm on my resolve with mission cute guy And I just took a breath, and got up with the intention of complimenting cute guys hair and getting a phone number as I left saying that I was busy and would love to talk to him later.

Now the actual situation turned out quite different. I went up to the table where the guys sat. I said Hi, Cute guy was busy munching over his lunch like (really unaware) and the friend spoke up. "How may I help you?" (Like he was smiling and all) . I momentarily lost focus, turned to friend and then back to cute guy sticking to my resolve I said to cute guy "I think your hair style is really nice!"

And then the tragedy followed. Please just don't laugh .Cute guy was not answering because he didn't know English. He looked English but...(Damn!) And I only came to know when friend guy translated for Cute guy who nodded and continued with his food again. Cute guy I should call him food ogre guy now! And the last thing I remember is the friend guy laughing and saying "That's a nice compliment Nice hair!" That's the last I remember because my plans were foiled, and I was stuck between inattention from the one I wanted and attention from the one I didn't. I thought it better to forget about the phone number and I smiled and graciously left with my friend.

Did I do wrong? And where exactly did I go wrong? Should I have talked to friend guy instead when I had an indication that he seemed interested from the moment he took seat next to our table? But I didn't want to talk to him? And should I have taken the phone number anyways but whose and how? Or I shouldn't have?

OMG! I don't understand what I did wrong?

Why are you so convinced you did something wrong? You have no idea who this person is; he might have a girlfriend or wife, or plain be uninterested. He might have been in your area only on holiday. You couldn't have spoken to the Cute Guy even if you'd wanted to and gotten his number, given he doesn't speak English. You're stressing way too much over an interaction that lasted all of a few seconds.

I give you credit for approaching them, but really, there's not much to go on. If they didn't seem interested in keeping up the conversation, there was nothing more to it than a friendly encounter. What were you going to do, just stand there and hope that one of them said something more? Good on you for trying; they didn't volley back so it ends there. Better luck next time!

Why are you so convinced you did something wrong? You have no idea who this person is; he might have a girlfriend or wife, or plain be uninterested. He might have been in your area only on holiday. You couldn't have spoken to the Cute Guy even if you'd wanted to and gotten his number, given he doesn't speak English. You're stressing way too much over an interaction that lasted all of a few seconds.

 

I give you credit for approaching them, but really, there's not much to go on. If they didn't seem interested in keeping up the conversation, there was nothing more to it than a friendly encounter. What were you going to do, just stand there and hope that one of them said something more? Good on you for trying; they didn't volley back so it ends there. Better luck next time!

I agree with this. You didnt do anything wrong. How were you supposed to know the guy couldnt speak English?

Sorry, but kinda desperate on your part. No-one's going to pick people up at lunch.

Sorry, but kinda desperate on your part. No-one's going to pick people up at lunch.

When you have an opportunity I say take it, how else should she have met him? Followed him around the mall?

OP

You did nothing wrong but make a funny mistake which I promise you will laugh about later.

Lisa

I agree that you came off a bit desperate, and a little bit creepy. Plus, you don’t know that his friend translated what you said. He could have said anything to “cute guy” which may explain his reaction.

Edit: what made you think he “looked English??”

When you have an opportunity I say take it, how else should she have met him? Followed him around the mall?

 

OP

 

You did nothing wrong but make a funny mistake which I promise you will laugh about later.

 

Lisa

Ummm not just stroll up while he's eating his lunch. He didn't even really care, so that should be her indication that if a man is trying to eat his lunch, to not approach. Bad form!

This will be a very funny memory between you and your friend, I promise you that!

Just laugh it off, at least you were confident enough to attempt it! Lol :)

Wow you're assertive and direct. I'd never approach a guy and try to get their number lol. That's super confident.

But don't stress, you did nothing wrong.

I agree that you came off a bit desperate, and a little bit creepy. Plus, you don’t know that his friend translated what you said. He could have said anything to “cute guy” which may explain his reaction.

 

Edit: what made you think he “looked English??”

Yep I got the Grammer error CORRECTION: "He looked like he knew English...you know what I mean typos error... can't edit after 15 minutes!"

Uh by the way "I know the other language as well, the one he translated...good enough to understand but not speak. So I understood what the friend said"

Ummm not just stroll up while he's eating his lunch. He didn't even really care, so that should be her indication that if a man is trying to eat his lunch, to not approach. Bad form!

Dear Jagger Jim,

In my own defence, I do understand it's improper to address someone while he or she is busy eating lunch. I know I wouldn't like it myself... If someone came up and I was munching off my lunch.

Just to point it out. I thought about it before approaching and I waited a decent 15minutes for him to finish his meal until I had had enough and decided to "speak now or forever hold your peace"

You have no idea who this person is; he might have a girlfriend or wife, or plain be uninterested. He might have been in your area only on holiday....

 

...I give you credit for approaching them....

Thanks for the nice words and well yep I realize you're right. I knew nothing of the guys's background... and all.

This will be a very funny memory between you and your friend, I promise you that!

Just laugh it off, at least you were confident enough to attempt it! Lol :)

Thanks, it is believe me we've been laughing all the way back home... Lol!

Wow you're assertive and direct. I'd never approach a guy and try to get their number lol. That's super confident.

 

 

But don't stress, you did nothing wrong.

Thanks for the nice and kind words...yeah well one has to be confident. It sort of came after quite some years of realizing that if you just sit on the side waiting for the train that never comes... Well you know what... It won't... And you'll never make it to your destination unless you get up and decide to take some action and come up with an alternative..."

Thanks for the lovely words again, everyone. The thing is that this has happened with me once before like Déjà vu. The two guys scenario: I went to talk to one guy and the other friend seemed more interested than the one I wanted to talk to and I ended up talking to the wrong guy ... So I'm not sure where my approach is wrong or goodness I just shouldn't talk to a guy sitting with a friend... I'm not sure...

A little advice on this?

Dear Jagger Jim,

In my own defence, I do understand it's improper to address someone while he or she is busy eating lunch. I know I wouldn't like it myself... If someone came up and I was munching off my lunch.

Just to point it out. I thought about it before approaching and I waited a decent 15minutes for him to finish his meal until I had had enough and decided to "speak now or forever hold your peace"

Dear Starshine

I think it's important to look for signs and cues first before approaching. You may have been off your game a little bit there. There was no eye contact given from him, no real engagement on his part for you to approach. I'm not sure if you think guys just approach any girl they fancy. They don't. They wait for cues. And since your trying to sort of be "the man" in this senario, you need to look out for cues and signs before approaching. Hope that helps.

Think you did fine. Honestly, had the guy spoken English, it would probably have gone your way.

I know I personally would not have found it creepy or desperate. It's flattering that you approached with a compliment. Think you should be proud of yourself for having the ovaries to do that... From the looks of it others on here do not have that same courage!

Think you did fine. Honestly, had the guy spoken English, it would probably have gone your way.

 

I know I personally would not have found it creepy or desperate. It's flattering that you approached with a compliment. Think you should be proud of yourself for having the ovaries to do that... From the looks of it others on here do not have that same courage!

I agree, good for her for being brave! It was worth a shot.

This man tonight comes up to me in line at the store and says " do I have sunburn" I said "no, why" to

which he replied " because you're really hot!" I laughed and thanked him. Now if I had been interested,

I would have furthered the conversation. He physically wasn't my type, but he was well dressed and

that line might work on someone, lol. My point is sometimes having the b@lls to approach does work out.

Sometimes it doesn't. But if you're confident, there's nothing wrong with a little risk taking

Dear Starshine

I think it's important to look for signs and cues first before approaching. You may have been off your game a little bit there. There was no eye contact given from him, no real engagement on his part for you to approach. I'm not sure if you think guys just approach any girl they fancy. They don't. They wait for cues. And since your trying to sort of be "the man" in this senario, you need to look out for cues and signs before approaching. Hope that helps.

Yes, and I think context is everything too. In a bar where people can reasonably expect to be chatted up, rather than having lunch in the middle of the day.