Really struggling to get over my ex of 6 years

I feel like it only gets worse, and i feel more and more heartbroken, and I miss her more with each day, that’s not the way it suppose to be.

Seriously, a relationship isn’t worth this pain.

I literally want to die.

The only times when I feel good are when I’m drunk or high up, but i understand that I cannot be doing it every day.

How do I get over her? How do I stop thinking about her enjoying het life out there while I’m hurting beyond what I thought was possible?

I have to get over her now.

Thank you

Oh no! I'm sorry to see you post, after your other posts that I recall :(

Please do not try to cover up your pain in alcohol and drugs. You will only exacerbate it.

You need to talk to a good therapist who can guide you to work through your emotions.

You have to get yourself to an emotionally stable place to move forward in life.

6 years is going to take time to get past. And it stinks because it becomes a waiting game,

but you can reach the stage where you accept this. Have strength and confidence, and hope.

There will be better days ahead. No one replaces a lost love, but someone can be just as great,

if not better. I'm sorry you're hurting (((hugs)))

hello mate

As always SG28 is spot on.

To help you get through this, you really need to keep off the alcohol excess and drugs, if at all possible.

Getting to acceptance point is your first step.

It will not feel like this forever, I promise.

I appreciate your replies but I’m not going to a therapist, been there in ny early 20’s it was an absolute joke, also she is not worth me going to a therapist because of her.

I absolutely know that acceptance is what I need, but how do I actually reach that place?

Thanks

I appreciate your replies but I’m not going to a therapist, been there in ny early 20’s it was an absolute joke, also she is not worth me going to a therapist because of her.

 

I absolutely know that acceptance is what I need, but how do I actually reach that place?

 

Thanks

Acceptance is what you need.

Distractions and time helps.

Also a good therapist can...

Sorry to say that after a 6 year relationship this is not going to be an easy or quick fix. You will need a lot of time and a significant amount of space (no contact at all) to get to less pain. Hopefully you have friends or family to help occupy your time, some goals and other healthy activities to focus on during the day. Nights, I understand, are tough but it's just going to take time. Also, you will need to learn to manage your thoughts. That is something you can attempt through self education (books, internet searches/videos, etc) since you refuse counseling. I agree that it can take a few tries to find a good therapist. No easy fix here. :/

I appreciate your replies but I’m not going to a therapist, been there in ny early 20’s it was an absolute joke, also she is not worth me going to a therapist because of her.

 

I absolutely know that acceptance is what I need, but how do I actually reach that place?

 

Thanks

You're hurt, you're angry, your grieving.

Maybe you had a bad therapist. I personally don't do therapy either but that's because eventually

I overcome things, but I don't rely on alcohol nor drugs to suppress feelings.

I feel bad because there isn't any one guaranteed fix to heal quickly. If there was, we would share it with you.

Only with time, no contact,delete her from everywhere, put memories away out of sight, asking friends to not mention her to you, and spending time with those who can keep you distracted (in a healthy way) can help. Write letters, but do not send them. It's a great way to release the emotions. You have to go through all the stages, because a breakup can feel like death.

I appreciate your replies but I’m not going to a therapist, been there in ny early 20’s it was an absolute joke, also she is not worth me going to a therapist because of her.

 

I absolutely know that acceptance is what I need, but how do I actually reach that place?

 

Thanks

You'd do yourself a favour if you found a different therapist. Not all of them are equal, there's good and bad everywhere. When a person is unable to get themselves over a major hump in life, like you, you need to be proactive and get some help. This ex of yours is worth getting help to get over because your life is a mess because you cant get over her on your own.

I need to mention that its been about 5 months since the breakup and other than a birthday message she sent me last week I’m not in any sort of contact with her, I definitely don’t stalk her online or any of that sort.

I need to mention that its been about 5 months since the breakup and other than a birthday message she sent me last week I’m not in any sort of contact with her, I definitely don’t stalk her online or any of that sort.

Don't you think her sending that set you back? Upset you more?

It's hard to block someone, but honestly the way you are feeling, it's in your best interest to do so.

Don't you think her sending that set you back? Upset you more?

It's hard to block someone, but honestly the way you are feeling, it's in your best interest to do so.

No, not really.

I think eventualy I’m glad she did it and to know that she thought of me that day.

It was a nice message too.

You have to give yourself a fair amount of time to get over it, but now that you've said it's been 5 months, that seems like long enough. Get a hold of yourself and your emotions. Your leading with your heart and not with your head. As endearing a quality as that may be, it will hold you back from letting yourself get over it. Everyday should be a little easier than the last. Stop letting yourself believe that she was the only one for you. Things change, people change, and life goes on. Does it suck, hell yeah, and it hurts worse than even I'm willing to admit. But the longer you allow yourself to wallow in your own misery, the longer you will. You don't need a therapist (no offense to the advisors of such), you need to tell yourself today will be better than the last. There will be moments where you think of her, but don't let yourself stay in those thoughts for so long that they consume you. Think of something else, do something else, keep yourself as busy as you possibly can. I'm not saying it will be easy, but eventually it will get easier. And try to go out and meet someone new, even if it's just a simple date. Even if the person doesn't compare to your ex, try to enjoy yourself and be open minded anyway. Your mind is stronger than you think, and even though your heart will fight you on it, your mind will win if you let it.

You seem like you like writing. You should keep a journal for yourself starting immediately. Write down what you're feeling, just for yourself, no one else. It will help you sort out and understand what you're actually feeling. Hope this helps. Good luck.

Thanks!

There is definitely a lot of substance in what you are saying.

I went on a couple of dates by the way, it sucked.

I feel like the only way it could help is when I find someone hotter and cooler and sweeter than my ex.

When you're ready, the perfect combination of hot/cool/sweet is gonna fall right into your lap. I just hope that you are not so focused on the past, that you don't see a potential future. Wink wink.