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Moms or parents of adult kids


Seraphim

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Whenever I go out for lunch or dinner with my husband or a friend I feel guilty if we don't bring our son. Now understand my son is 20 years old so not a child. ( he lives at home)I just feel bad not bringing him along. My husband says he feels no guilt at all that we deserve to be alone to go out too.

 

Does mom/parent guilt ever end?

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Does mom/parent guilt ever end?

 

Yes, it eases up. While I don't want my kids to experience pain or hardship, I look back on my phases of independence and accomplishments and freedom-from-parents, and appreciate that world of my own. I don't want to deprive my kids of that growth and freedom and self-discovery. Have faith in your son, and trust that your love is with him even if you are not.

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Yes, it eases up. While I don't want my kids to experience pain or hardship, I look back on my phases of independence and accomplishments and freedom-from-parents, and appreciate that world of my own. I don't want to deprive my kids of that growth and freedom and self-discovery. Have faith in your son, and trust that your love is with him even if you are not.

Yes. I know I have done a good job and he has no such guilt or emotional issues that I have. He is very stable in that he is loved wholeheartedly.

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Yes. I know I have done a good job and he has no such guilt or emotional issues that I have. He is very stable in that he is loved wholeheartedly.

 

I believe you. (Doesn't make it easy, though. Took me awhile to let go of guilt and worry, and to realize they didn't need that from me.)

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Yes, it eases up. While I don't want my kids to experience pain or hardship, I look back on my phases of independence and accomplishments and freedom-from-parents, and appreciate that world of my own. I don't want to deprive my kids of that growth and freedom and self-discovery. Have faith in your son, and trust that your love is with him even if you are not.

 

Beautiful answer. I second this. I also agree with your husband. It's important that the two of you devote quality time to each other as a couple periodically without the kids.

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Hey hun. You're very protective of him. But this isn't neglect, and is good for him to learn that there are different types of interactions, so private parent time and why it exists (building and maintaining a healthy relationship). Besides he's 20 I'm sure he appreciates some time at home to do his own thing. You've done a fantastic job bringing him up. Don't over think and just enjoy life, your private adult life, and motherhood xx

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Hey hun. You're very protective of him. But this isn't neglect, and is good for him to learn that there are different types of interactions, so private parent time and why it exists (building and maintaining a healthy relationship). Besides he's 20 I'm sure he appreciates some time at home to do his own thing. You've done a fantastic job bringing him up. Don't over think and just enjoy life, your private adult life, and motherhood xx

Yes, you know me well, I am very protective. He also encourages us to have our own time together too.

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No, I can't say we ever felt guilty when we went out without the kids, especially at age 20. When they were very much younger, yes, maybe a little bit of guilt, but not too much, lol. I imagine you feel that way due to his history (autism) and you feel very protective (understandably), but by all accounts, he seems to be doing very well (thanks to you being an amazing mom) and I don't think he minds the occasional time alone when you go out with your husband.

 

Go out and enjoy!

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