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Thread: Why people commit and then back off?

  1. #1

    Why people commit and then back off?

    Did anyone ever been in a situation when a guy initiates the progression of new relationship, makes moves, makes commitments (on his own), invests a lot of time, makes plans for future, acts super thankful for meeting you, happy when you are also committed, gets involved on every level, convinces you that all he is saying is well thought through.... you feel safe and have no reason to doubt him.

    And then he takes it all back....
    admitting that itís wrong but he is no longer ready to commit.

    And then he realizes what he lost and comes back with new promise and apologies and then takes that back too.

    Why do mature people not teenagers, say such big words, and often affect your life by making change, and then they back off? Again, I am talking about when itís a 100 percent their own initiation of all of it, not when you waiting and hoping and nagging.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    I think that people who do this are usually running from their past and act like this trying to convince themselves of these big words as much as the other person. In any case, they are unstable and you should run the moment they unveil being flighty like that.

  3. #3
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    Yes this has happened several times and ironically the guys were the ones who pushed forward plans, relationship etc. I've learned to stay far far away from these types of people as the situation is a total mind F***. People get hurt w/this type of behavior and the person doing it has no business dating in the 1st place.

  4. #4
    Originally Posted by Clio
    I think that people who do this are usually running from their past and act like this trying to convince themselves of these big words as much as the other person. In any case, they are unstable and you should run the moment they unveil being flighty like that.
    Thank you. Run is the answer. The writing is on the wall. Funny how we hope sometimes when all the signs are right there....

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member
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    This has happened to me. If you are in this situation, you can save yourself a lot of heartache by simply moving on and having no contact. These people are commitmentphobic. I realised it early on and thought things would be different with men because "I loved him, understood him, and we seemed so right together". WRONG


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