Nephew thrown out of his mom's house

I'm furious...rant warning!

My brother has been divorced from his wife for about 8 years now. They have three children together ranging in age from mid-teens to late teens.

Yesterday, his ex wife threw the oldest (19 years old) out of her house. The support agreement stipulated that child support would end when the kids turned 18. The 19 year old has been working full-time plus whatever overtime he could get at his burger joint job because his mother told him that, since she no longer gets child support for him, he needed to pay her the equivalent of the amount she had been receiving for child support for him or he would not be allowed to live with her. Thing is, my brother makes a very good living and was paying her in the neighborhood of $2800 per month for three children plus spousal support. So, she was expecting the 19 year old to pay her about $900 per month to live in her home. This despite the fact that the mortgage, utilities and other basic expenses are covered by the spousal support and my brother pays all extra expenses (sports, medical bills) for all the kids out of his own money. She claims she cannot afford him without the child support. She also refuses to work, even though she has certificates that would qualify her for at least a decent paying part time job.

Fortunately, he called my brother when she tossed him out on the street and he came to pick him and all his belongings up. He's now getting settled in my brother's house. They had talked previously about him living with my brother, but the house is about 45 minutes from all his friends and his job and of course he has no car (his mother told him to take a taxi to and from his job because she didn't want to drive him). He couldn't save for a car because his mother demanded his paychecks.

I am glad he's with my brother and away from that money grubbing piece of garbage, but I'm worried about the other two kids. I guess they now see their future. The next oldest one is 16, so I presume she has getting kicked out of the house at 19 in her future. Same for the youngest who is 14.

Nice that the mother only sees her kids as income and not as the wonderful blessings they are :(. They really are good kids and my heart breaks at the way their own mother treats them. I see in her future none of her children wanting anything to do with her. And that's going to be the result of her own selfish actions.

I can't stand women like this.

Thankfully your nephew is safe now.

She sounds like a horrible person.

You are right to be furious if she put him out for that reason.

He should Not have to pay an amount equivalent to what she was getting for child support.

However, I do think once they start working kids should contribute to the household in some small way(teaches responsibility,etc)

I'm glad he has support from his dad. I agree that they may not want to have anything to do with her in the future but of course selfish people never think it's because of anything they did wrong.

I wish him and his siblings well.

She better hope they don't all want to go live with dad. Her money with the exception of spousal support would be gone.

I do agree with having late teen/young adult kids paying some sort of contribution to the household. But I think $900 per month is a bit excessive, especially since the house payment and all utilities are covered by the spousal support. I charged my adult kids $100 per month each to cover food and utilities. I felt that was fair and taught them that food and hot water don't fall out of the sky lol.

But this...this is excessive and selfish and vindictive. She can hate my brother if she wants, but why take it out on the innocent kids???

I agree in paying something but she is outrageous. My son is 20. And he gets $650 for basic needs from disability and $300 on top to pay his rent to us. So he pays $300.

$900 is beyond a bit excessive. After paying rent (which is seemingly provided for in your bro's ex's situation), I was living off like $400 when I was 19. What expenses make $2800 unaffordable for her? If she were struggling as a single mother without child or spousal support, I'd of course have some sympathy. I've personally helped out with matters even when not living in the home. But it's nothing less than outright extortion of her own child to cover expenses already paid for by someone else. I can understand the principle behind it, charging a couple hundred a month like Victoria's kid (which I'm sure actually does cover cost... or even less than given her kid's got autism and there are likely services being provided that aren't cheap). Or even your nephew's mother taking "rent" from him but holding it as a secure deposit for once he does get out on his own. But it makes me furious just imagining this scenario.

Do you think this matter with the 19 year old could be a catalyst for your brother to take the money he'd be spending on child support and paying for a lawyer who can fight for at least joint custody? Without knowing all sides, I obviously don't want to villainize the women too much, but if this account is any indicator, the kids are being treated as income, and they deserve a better home, even if for just half the time.

My brother did go to court to ask for more custody. Basically, the judge said no, even though he had a statement written by one of the children stating that the child wished to live with their dad. Seemed like, absent any abuse, neglect or substance abuse by the mother, no way was the judge going to rule in my brother's favor. Instead, the judge ordered my brother and his ex to attend yet another round of "co-parenting" classes. Incidentally, this was their third time attending the classes, but maybe the judge thought it would work the third time. That obviously did absolutely no good at all.

I'm sad for my nephew because I know how much it sucks knowing that a parent just does not give a darn about you other than what you can do for them. But I am glad he's out of there. I plan to visit them soon so I can give him some Aunty love. I want him to know that not all mothers are like his.