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Thread: I'd like to hear women's opinions on this

  1. #1
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    I'd like to hear women's opinions on this

    I'm a 50 year old male, I just got out of a monogamous relationship about 3 months ago. It lasted for a year. But that's not what this is really about, I'm just giving that information as a little bit of background.

    So when that relationship ended, I decided I was going to do things differently this time around. In the past whenever I had a breakup, I would wait until I felt I was fully healed and over it before attempting to date again. This strategy never seems to have a good outcome for me, so this time I'm going outside of my comfort zone and I'm pursuing online dating somewhat heavily.

    My question is this to the women who may be reading this; if you met a guy and liked him and were hitting it off and he told you he was renting a room at his mom's house, would this be a deal breaker for you? If yes, I know the reasons why. But if any of you answered no, then why?

    What I'd like advice on is how to bring this up to women without scaring them off. I'm absolutely not dependent on any member of my family or anybody else for anything in my life. I have a full time job, a truck, a motorcycle all 100% bought paid for by me. Everything I own was earned by myself alone. I'm a very responsible and self-sufficient person. I just can't afford an apartment on the job I have, which is a very good job and pays well, but the prices of real estate here in Southern California are astronomical. Doesn't matter if you rent or own, it's very expensive.

    My mom is an 82 year old woman who lives in a large five bedroom house. She rents out all of the rooms to tenants in order to make her house payment. Without her tenants she would be on the street. She needed the money and I needed the room. I'd rather give to money to her than a stranger and she'd rather have a family member in the house than a stranger. It's just family helping family. Nothing else. I pay full price for my room the same as the rest of the tenants.

    I needed to rent a room when the economy took a nose dive and my pay got reduced at work. I stuck with my job because I like it and eventually, just this year, I was brought back up to my old rate of pay with a raise. But in the time that has passed since then, it's still not enough to afford an apartment as the cost of living has risen exponentially since.

    But I'm a very responsible person and 100% pull my own weight in the world and always have. Outside of the place I live in, I think I'm a total catch. I'm smart, pretty decent looking so I've been told, responsible, loving, affectionate, fun, kind and very respectful of women and all people from all walks of life. I also take excellent care of my health and I'm in excellent physical shape. I even have a credit score of 847 for crying out loud! Lol!!!

    So when and how do I best bring this up to someone I'm dating who's showing interest in me? What's the most tactful way to do it to convey that I'm not a mommy's boy? Your answers are greatly appreciated. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    You tell them exactly what you told us.

    Would I have problem with it? Not sure. If you checked all the boxes and we seemed to have similar financial values and otherwise, I might overlook it.
    I would judge you on the entire picture not just the fact that you rent a room from your mother. Your arrangement from all accounts seems to make sense.
    But I would certainly be on the lookout to seewhat your relationship with your mother looked like, to be honest.

    I would however prefer to date someone who is close the same tax bracket as myself. It just lessons the complications.
    I dated someone who rented a room. It just made sense financially for him and if he wanted to, he could have afforded a place of his own.

    Everyone is different. In these times I think your situation is more typical than not. Good men are hard to come by sometimes.
    If you have high standards and values in other areas, you'll be fine.

    Honestly, I'd be more concerned that you just got out of a relationship then I would be that you were renting a room.

  3. #3
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    My deal breaker would be getting involved with someone directly out of a relationship

  4. #4
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I'm not sure if I would date you or not (if I were single) it would depend on how well we meshed and if we had common dating goals I presume.
    Of course your relationship history would have more of an impact on my decision then your living arrangements would. It's not like you've got mother stored up in the attic and you run the Bates motel or anything like that. You have a decent job and you are apparently quite responsible.

    When did you tell the last woman you dated what your living situation was and did it impact her decision to be or not be with you?

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  6. #5
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    Wow! Bring it up when the question so where do you live is asked which is usually one of the initial conversation starters.
    Your situation is economical and understandable. I would explain it the same way you did here. Honest and straight forward.

  7. #6
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    I am not sure how I would feel about it.

    But I try to remember that my son may live with us forever so he might face a sort of similar situation.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    I wouldn’t be ok with it for a number of reasons.

    You live with your mom. How can we be intimate? Or cook together? Or watch movies?

    Plus you have 3 other roommates.

    Those two things are a no-go unless you have a separate entrance or something. Not trying to be mean. But I wouldn’t like it.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member JaggerJim's Avatar
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    It could work if there is a roster for who bags the kitchen on certain nights, and who bags the t.v room to watch movies.

    Would women not think it's fun and exciting to re-live their teenage years of mischief in the bedroom, with mom just up the hall?

  10. #9
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    I wouldn’t be ok with it for a number of reasons.

    You live with your mom. How can we be intimate? Or cook together? Or watch movies?

    Plus you have 3 other roommates.

    Those two things are a no-go unless you have a separate entrance or something. Not trying to be mean. But I wouldn’t like it.
    That's the thing. How do you be close?

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ~Seraphim ~
    That's the thing. How do you be close?
    At the woman's place or...
    In his bedroom ...
    Or, in that truck of his *winkz* :D

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