He chose his lodgers side so I broke up with him but still love him

I just broke up with my boyfriend of one year because 4 months ago he let a friend move into his house with him she asked him ,and in turn he asked me if it was ok I said yes. she was only supposed to be there until she got herself together after she split from her husband. I had a go at her one night my boyfriend took her side said I shouldn't of done that. Not one of my friends think it was ok for her to live there anyway I got fed up with the whole suituation so broke up with him , thing is I still love him he told me he loved me and had never connected with anyone the way he did with me if this is so how could he let me go ? Was I wrong ?

he asked me if it was ok I said yes

 

Was I wrong ?

He asked you. You agreed and said yes. So, yes, I would say you were wrong. Unless there's a lot more to the story .......

if this is so how could he let me go ? Was I wrong ?

So you used breaking up as a manipulation tool to get him to agree with you and chase you back? Nice. I’d advise your ex to move forward and never look back.

What do you mean you "had a go at her"?

i told her in a not too polite way to stop leaving all her stuff around the house

I

Sounds like you did your boyfriend a favor.

As in ? Please explain

i told her in a not too polite way to stop leaving all her stuff around the house

I

It's not your house. Going into someone else's home and telling them how to live is incredibly rude. It doesn't matter that she's only there temporarily.

Don't break up with people you want to stay with. Breaking up to get your way in a fight is immature and messy. And now you have to live with the choices you made.

Is it your house?

Yeah, it doesn't sound like you were actually okay with her moving in.

And instead of talking about it with your boyfriend, you agreed to her moving in, internalized your frustrations over the living situation, and then as a result, lost it on your boyfriend's friend when she was leaving things around his house. My guess is that you lost it on her not as a result of her leaving things around the house, but because you didn't like the fact that she was living there.

Unfortunately, this all back-fired.

Were you hoping that by breaking up with him, he'd kick his friend out of the house and ask for you back?

Assuming they are just roommates/friends and nothing more, then yes, it was wrong. Sorry.

Yes I need the back of my mind I was but he didn't ,I think everyone was right he didn't love me the way he said he did.

Unfortunately first you said it was ok, even though you thought it was inappropriate and you felt displaced/jealous. Yes, it was wrong to confront her about HIS house. You should deal with your bf directly, if you are uncomfortable, not take it out on his house guest.

i told her in a not too polite way to stop leaving all her stuff around the house

I

Yes I need the back of my mind I was but he didn't ,I think everyone was right he didn't love me the way he said he did.

If you were trying to manipulate the situation, as another poster in this thread mentioned, plans like this normally backfire.

Best to be upfront with your SO from the get-go.

Now your boyfriend may not know exactly why you were upset and now you've lost someone you love.

Wondering if this outcome could have been avoided if you voiced your frustrations/concerns to him initially.

I think everyone was right he didn't love me the way he said he did.

Let this be a lesson to you. If you aren't OK with something, don't say you're ok with something to be the cool girlfriend or to not make waves.

This is his friend, and if you pick a fight with her over something, I'd hope he'd choose the side of the more reasonable individual AND get onto you if you were out of line. The title of girlfriend doesn't automatically make you right in every encounter or exempt from being called out on your nonsense.

This is all ridiculous and childish...and is a direct result of you claiming to be ok with something that you weren't in the first place.

A better bet, since you've broken up, is to move on and find someone new - and in the future, don't say you're OK with something you're not OK with!

I just broke up with my boyfriend of one year because 4 months ago he let a friend move into his house with him she asked him ,and in turn he asked me if it was ok I said yes. she was only supposed to be there until she got herself together after she split from her husband. I had a go at her one night my boyfriend took her side said I shouldn't of done that. Not one of my friends think it was ok for her to live there anyway I got fed up with the whole suituation so broke up with him , thing is I still love him he told me he loved me and had never connected with anyone the way he did with me if this is so how could he let me go ? Was I wrong ?

No, you weren't wrong. Seeing how miserable you were about the situation, your BF should have asked her to leave once she 'got herself together'. On top of this, your BF also made it clear to you that he was on her side when you confronted her about her mess. IMO this is a straightforward case of betrayal.

Switch off to him, as he's a disloyal character who will Judas you again at some later point.