How can I tell a woman I don't want to ejaculate during sex without her being offended?

Basically I don't like ejaculating inside a woman, even with the condom on, cause doing it with the condom cause still increase risk of pregancy. But when I tell a woman this, a lot of times, they take it personally and they will try to pressure me into it, like it's okay and I'm making too big a deal of it, or the fact that I won't makes them feel inadequate, like there is something wrong it. Back when I had a long term relationship, it kept constantly bothering her a lot.

I started seeing a new girl, and she talked me into ejactulating, while inside her and wearing a condom, and I was so in the heat of the moment of passion, that I decided to listen to her and do it. However, now I am freaking out and having trouble sleeping, cause I feel I may have gotten her pregnant, especially since the condom came off during as a result of me ejaculating.

So now I am making a vow never to ejaculate inside a woman during sex, ever again. But how do I put my foot down and say no means no, without feeling pressured into it? I know the woman wants me feel sexy with me and make me orgasm while I'm inside, but I feel that this is important. What do you think?

Wow! This is interesting because a friend of mine has a guy that does this but it only bothers her because he pulls out when she is about to have an orgasm, so basically he is having an orgasm and she isn't having one.

My advice is to just be honest and Never let anyone pressure you into doing something with which you are not comfortable. Freaking out and having trouble sleeping is not worth it.

Explain why it's important for you Not to do it and find out why it is important to the female that you do it although you're not comfortable with it and go from there.

As you stated, No means no. It's not right for her to pressure you into anything and I'm assuming you wouldn't pressure her doing something she found uncomfortable.

I know, but maybe freaking out is important cause I made a stupid mistake and may have gotten her pregnant now.

I don't pull out before the woman has an orgasm. I try to give the woman at least three orgasms first, if I can.

I don't think she should insist you do something that makes you uncomfortable but if you can't "put your foot down and make no mean no" there are spermicides that you can use with the condom. If the condom does come off the spermicide should kill the sperm before it reaches her uterus. Just a thought.

okay thanks. Well I feel like I dunno... I am panicking over this, since the condom came off, and my friend said I should convince her into taking a plan B pill. But I don't know if I want to do that, it feels wrong. What do you think?

okay thanks. Well I feel like I dunno... I am panicking over this, since the condom came off, and my friend said I should convince her into taking a plan B pill. But I don't know if I want to do that, it feels wrong. What do you think?

If your condom is coming off, you're wearing the wrong size so you need to sort that out first.

Is she already on bc?

yeah, you will probably need a snugger condom because they should not be coming off during sex. Consider buying a sampler pack online and seeing which one feels the best for you and fits better.

I can't wait for the male birth control pill, I think it will help more men like you feel better about avoiding a pregnancy.

Personally, I would not be offended if a guy said he doesn't want to ejaculate inside. That's totally fine and I can understand wanting to be extra cautious.

okay thanks. Well I feel like I dunno... I am panicking over this, since the condom came off, and my friend said I should convince her into taking a plan B pill. But I don't know if I want to do that, it feels wrong. What do you think?

First off the only 100% safe sex is abstinence. The fact is there are thousands upon thousand upon thousands of pull-out babies roaming this earth.

Second, I do kinda think you're making it a bigger deal than it has to be. I can't say I know too many women who would be insulted if you didn't come inside of them. I mean unless they were trying to get pregnant, like in a marriage or something or maybe a serious relationship, or they were trying to trap ya with a baby, haha

If you have to bring it up make it sensual, tell her you want to come on her *chosen body part* because it turns you on. I think that's more subtle and a whole lot smoother than, ' I have to pull out I'm scared of impregnating you'

Okay thanks. Yeah I know the only safe way is that but I felt like that by choosing to ejaculate and it coming off, I greatly increased the risk. Well I told her how I was feeling about it and she said she was not on BC.

Okay thanks. Yeah I know the only safe way is that but I felt like that by choosing to ejaculate and it coming off, I greatly increased the risk. Well I told her how I was feeling about it and she said she was not on BC.

Did you mention the Plan B pill?

Not yet. I talked to her about it and told her I was worried and she says not to worry cause she finished having her period two days before we had intercourse.

Did you mention the Plan B pill?

I agree. Odd that she wants you to come inside of her without any backup protection... be careful.

Well so far she is acting like I have nothing to worry about and she's fine and that I need to relax. So since she is not worrying at all, and thinks I am making a big deal out of it, to the point where she seems annoyed about it and keeps wanting to change the subject, what is the best way to bring up the plan B pill?

Well so far she is acting like I have nothing to worry about and she's fine and that I need to relax. So since she is not worrying at all, and thinks I am making a big deal out of it, to the point where she seems annoyed about it and keeps wanting to change the subject, what is the best way to bring up the plan B pill?

If she is acting like you have nothing to worry about,getting annoyed, think you are making a big deal and need to relax I doubt that she will take the plan B.

Yeah that's what I figured. But is there a better way to bring it up then, in another attempt?

Yeah that's what I figured. But is there a better way to bring it up then, in another attempt?

Are you two in a relationship? If not there's really little to nothing you can do. Unfortunately that's the risk. Like I said plenty of pull-out babies roaming this earth, nothing is full proof but abstinence. Fwiw, if she's telling you she just finished her period 2 days ago she's probably right the odds of her becoming pregnancy are small not non existent just a lot smaller than say if she were ovulating.

I think that instead of telling a woman you won't ejaculate - that you are waiting for sex. And when you are ready for a family and have met the right woman and you are both in agreement, then you will do so. Then you won't risk pregnancy without hurting a woman's feelings. You won't tell a woman you want to have sex with her and at the last minute tell her you are never finishing the deed.

Not yet. I talked to her about it and told her I was worried and she says not to worry cause she finished having her period two days before we had intercourse.

I would not do that anyway, unless you both have taken STD tests recently and are both clean.

Not yet. I talked to her about it and told her I was worried and she says not to worry cause she finished having her period two days before we had intercourse.

And if she finished her period two days before you had sex -- she is entering her fertile period....you know that, don't you?

Okay thanks. Yeah I know the only safe way is that but I felt like that by choosing to ejaculate and it coming off, I greatly increased the risk. Well I told her how I was feeling about it and she said she was not on BC.

So, you didn't know she wasn't on BC before you chose to have sex with her? Seriously??? If you really don't want to have a kid, i would think you would have had many talks about these things

Well I relied on the condom only, which I shouldn't have done cause I freaked out later.

As someone else mentioned, if a condom is coming off during sex, you are not fitting it or wearing it properly.

You said your ejaculation "caused" the condom to come off.

I don't understand what happened. Did you feel it on and then, specifically when you ejaculated, it slid off? Or broke?

When you wear a condom, you should always leave a little slack at the tip for the ejaculate. To do this, either buy a reservoir end, and/or pinch the end of the condom between your fingers before sliding it on, so that there is a bit at the end that's empty. It sounds like you may have it either on too loose OR too tight, where the ejaculate caused it to burst off (or the sperm backed up in the condom, causing it to slip.)

I'm sorry she is so hard-headed about getting the Plan B pill -- this is a good window period for taking it. She sounds uneducated -- you should do a little online research on a woman's fertile period and when she can get pregnant in her cycle. Send her the links.

However, if her periods are rather short and she regularly menstruates at 28 days, she is still early in her cycle and so it's less likely the sperm will still be alive when she ovulates. It's probably going to be okay, but she needs to know that sperm can survive up to 5 days, and so 2 days after her period, she is close to ovulation.

Maybe try to scare her with your knowledge -- but try not to freak out. She is not right at ovulation, so your odds are still favorable.

For the record, I have never used any other method besides a condom, because I don't want to be on the pill and other methods require irritating substances or invasive procedures. The only time I took Plan B was when I had unprotected sex in the heat of the moment, on an iffy day in my cycle. I don't think used properly, your chances of getting a woman pregnant with a condom are worth pulling out. If the condom stays on, stays intact, and you don't get any precum or ejaculate on or near her vagina, getting her pregnant is pretty close to nill.

You also may want to switch to polyisoprene condoms, as the material is more durable than latex rubber.

https://www.liveabout.com/latex-versus-non-latex-condoms-2982474

Basically the ejaculation either pushed it off, or it rolled over when from going flaccid. Not sure as I did not look down. All of a sudden it was off. And yes I did leave about an inch of slack if that's enough.

I tried polyurethane once with a woman who was allergic to latex but I found I had trouble getting hard in the condom as I would shrink back down. I think it's cause the polyurethane is just so dry feeling compared to latex. I used magnum condoms. I tried non-magnums before but they were so tight, and I couldn't stay hard in them cause of the tightness. with magnums I stay hard.

I just edited my post to say, polyisoprene, rather than polyurethane. SKYN is the name of the product most used.

If there is dryness, you can put a dab of lube inside, but maybe the polyisoprene will work better for you.

Yeah, I think an inch is enough slack.

When you leave the slack, are you still able to roll it down fully to the base of your penis?

yep there is still enough length to roll it fully back down. but during the sex it rolled back up near the end it seems.