It's crazy the difference between dating older and younger women

I am helping my good buddy out by letting him stay at my house - he is divorced and trying to get up on his feet. His ex wife absolutely crippled him financially so he is dead ass broke - I told him he can stay with me for a while and not pay me any rent until he doing a little better. My buddy is also chubby and balding terribly (should shave his head, I dunno why he is holding on to the tiny bit of hair he has left).

So anyways, today he shows me a picture of a woman he is going out with tonight and she is a 39 year old global finance director at Mcdonalds - likely making about 300-500K a year. She is good looking - very good looking for her age actually, in nice shape, masters degree in business, very intelligent, looks about 5 years younger than her real age, super nice person (my buddy said she is awesome)

Meanwhile, if I approach a 25 year old at a bar who makes 30K a year and lives at home with her parents and who is just decent for her age appearance wise and she will inevitably turn her nose up at me and wants nothing to do with me every single time. Isn't this just crazy?? I can't get a girl who is 6 levels below my league to show interest in me meanwhile my buddy can get a girl a 100 levels above his league to go out with him. For reference sake, I'm 29, decent looking (people rate me around a 7-8/10), fitness model physique, make close to 200K a year, have my own house, super nice car, etc...

When I approach women sometimes who end up being 35-40 (on accident because I think they are my age), they always love me also. My success rate with the 35-40 year olds is like 90% - my success rate with 23-28 year olds is negative 0%

Is it just a f*cked up generation nowadays where the average 24 year old girl has an unbelievably blown up ego and thinks she deserves a 10 when she is a 4 herself? Dating as a mid to late 20s straight man has to be the absolute worst in terms of any demographic out there

It sounds like it is because people tell you , that you are 7-8/10. You should be a solid 10 in your head. Build up confidence, read some psychology books, workout, refresh your wardrobe, bend reality.

It sounds like it is because people tell you , that you are 7-8/10. You should be a solid 10 in your head. Build up confidence, read some psychology books, workout, refresh your wardrobe, bend reality.

I dress better than any straight man you will ever find

I look like a fitness model in the body

I try to improve confidence everyday- that's a life long journey for everyone

doesn't seem to matter at all with women my age

He's never met her and she may not know he's broke and crashing at a friends house. Some older women who have their kids,careers etc, settled may think it's fun to have a boy-toy after a nasty divorce.

The mid-late 20 somethings are not looking for flash and the club pick-up scene. They may prefer looking for husband/father material on dating apps or other venues. The early 20 something/college girls may be the ones in clubs looking for a good time.

my buddy can get a girl a 100 levels above his league to go out with him.

He's never met her and she may not know he's broke and crashing at a friends house. Some older women who have their kids,careers etc, settled may think it's fun to have a boy-toy after a nasty divorce.

 

The mid-late 20 somethings are not looking for flash and the club pick-up scene. They may prefer looking for husband/father material on dating apps or other venues. The early 20 something/college girls may be the ones in clubs looking for a good time.

What part of the "flash" am I not satisfying?

I'm rich, very handsome, in great shape, dress extremely nice, have a great social circle and lifestyle

As a girl in my 20s I would be uninterested in someone who thinks so much about leagues, being "below" somebody, "above" somebody, calling your friends or girls you are talking to below you on some ladder, 30 or 300K, being a 7 or 10, success rates and other weird stuff. Maybe your buddy makes an impression of a nice and easy-going person that makes it easier for women to like him. Maybe he doesn't use leagues so much. Maybe doesn't care if he's 8/10 in eyes of his friends. Are you sure it's the girls that have a bit of an ego?

As a girl in my 20s I would be uninterested in someone who thinks so much about leagues, being "below" somebody, "above" somebody, calling your friends or girls you are talking to below you on some ladder, 30 or 300K, being a 7 or 10, success rates and other weird stuff. Maybe your buddy makes an impression of a nice and easy-going person that makes it easier for women to like him. Maybe he doesn't use leagues so much. Maybe doesn't care if he's 8/10 in eyes of his friends. Are you sure it's the girls that have a bit of an ego?

I don't think you read that thread all the way through

If I approach a beautiful 35 to 40 year old woman, she could be a rocket scientist, she will always like me. I've had multiple beautiful women in that age range who were crazy about me

if I approach a 25 year old who is just decent for her age, she will always blow me out immediately and want nothing to do with me whatsoever before I even have a chance to show her what kind of person I am

Maybe you give an unfavourable first impression to these girls. I assure you, the girls in 20s do date, so the problem is that they just don't date you. Instead of being angry at the generation like women in their 20s owe you something (they do not! even if they are 4 and you are 10), maybe a better approach would be just to be vulnerable - to ask yourself, I have a problem, it's about me, what I can do to change it. Since it's not your looks or status, the good place to look would be your inside - your thinking patterns, attitude, personality.

As a girl in my 20s I would be uninterested in someone who thinks so much about leagues, being "below" somebody, "above" somebody, calling your friends or girls you are talking to below you on some ladder, 30 or 300K, being a 7 or 10, success rates and other weird stuff. Maybe your buddy makes an impression of a nice and easy-going person that makes it easier for women to like him. Maybe he doesn't use leagues so much. Maybe doesn't care if he's 8/10 in eyes of his friends. Are you sure it's the girls that have a bit of an ego?

THIS.

I am completely uninterested in dating you based on you thinking "leagues" have anything to do with looks or money. I specifically look for a guy who doesn't brag about his "fitness model physique" or the amount of money he makes. I don't care if the guy is balding or chubby or whatever. Some people do.

Once I was walking around the club with my boyfriend and a group of guys (well dressed, presumably nice physique) came up to me and said I was out of my boyfriends league and why was I with him. I was literally so disgusted. My boyfriend (now husband) is amazing and how can you rate someone's "league" based on a look.

Whenever people tell me that they have trouble getting people their own age but then go on to talk about looks and money and superficial stuff, I immediately realize it has nothing to do with "other" people and everything to do with that person.

It's not all about dat flash my friend... there is likely something about how you approach women in their 20's that they find off putting. Women in the age range you mention that are looking for committed relationships are beyond the point of throwing themselves at someone just because they look a certain way or have money.

Also, why are you approaching women you consider beneath you?

Also, women older than you (speaking from experience) are probably just looking to get their ego stroked by having a young good looking man on their arm... alot of them have been there done that with the committed relationships, or are focused on their careers and just want to have fun with some eye candy.

Maybe you give an unfavourable first impression to these girls. I assure you, the girls in 20s do date, so the problem is that they just don't date you. Instead of being angry at the generation like women in their 20s owe you something (they do not! even if they are 4 and you are 10), maybe a better approach would be just to be vulnerable - to ask yourself, I have a problem, it's about me, what I can do to change it. Since it's not your looks or status, the good place to look would be your inside - your thinking patterns, attitude, personality.

so explain to me why very attractive women between 35 to 45 are immediately smitten with me but the 25 to 30 year olds want nothing to do with me

I don't treat them any differently. I'm super nice towards everyone I interact with everywhere. I've had many gay men aggressively pursue me and ask me out and I'm even super nice in turning them down despite feeling very awkward

This sounds strangely familiar to a post months ago. Regardless, at 29 I’m questioning why people are still “rating” you. Also when you list off your amazing traits none of them have anything to do with what you bring to the table personality-wise.

As a 28 year old female, I can take care of myself so your paycheck, house, car, wardrobe, etc would do little to impress me. I also give zero cares about you “fitness model physique”.

Maybe you come across as high maintenance to women, one can only speculate on a forum. I can assure you though the talk of “leagues” and “ratings” will turn anyone off. Even if it’s not explicitly mentioned it comes across in subtext and unconscious habits.

Interesting that you talk about women having an inflated ego and yet you come across as though people should be falling all over you.

I dress better than any straight man you will ever find

I look like a fitness model in the body

I try to improve confidence everyday- that's a life long journey for everyone

 

doesn't seem to matter at all with women my age

Ohhh, I dunno. Might have something to do with the attitude?

This came across as super cocky - I don't know if that's what you typically project, but I do know that women who know what they want are attracted to that sometimes because it looks like confidence. It really just depends on what a person is looking for, and if you're approaching these "4's" and treating them like you already rated them as such, that might be why you're netting the results you're getting.

It's not all about dat flash my friend... there is likely something about how you approach women in their 20's that they find off putting. Women in the age range you mention that are looking for committed relationships are beyond the point of throwing themselves at someone just because they look a certain way or have money.

I'm 100% looking for a relationship...don't care about getting laid by itself whatsoever

Also, why are you approaching women you consider beneath you?

It's very very hard to find women who have my combination of attractiveness, the body and who are extraordinarily successful. I don't even need that though - I would be happy with a school teacher as long as she was attractive and a fantastic person like I am. I don't want another crazy workaholic in the household - I need someone more low key and low maintenance

Also, women older than you (speaking from experience) are probably just looking to get their ego stroked by having a young good looking man on their arm... alot of them have been there done that with the committed relationships, or are focused on their careers and just want to have fun with some eye candy.

I was seeing a gorgeous 36 year old who worked in politics and she was crazy about me - totally wanted to date me

I just don't want a woman with kids and she had a very complicated situation

This sounds strangely familiar to a post months ago. Regardless, at 29 I’m questioning why people are still “rating” you. Also when you list off your amazing traits none of them have anything to do with what you bring to the table personality-wise.

 

As a 28 year old female, I can take care of myself so your paycheck, house, car, wardrobe, etc would do little to impress me. I also give zero cares about you “fitness model physique”.

 

Maybe you come across as high maintenance to women, one can only speculate on a forum. I can assure you though the talk of “leagues” and “ratings” will turn anyone off. Even if it’s not explicitly mentioned it comes across in subtext and unconscious habits.

 

Interesting that you talk about women having an inflated ego and yet you come across as though people should be falling all over you.

my personality is every bit as strong as my appearance

I am

loyal

honest

affectionate

caring

respectful

considerate

easy going

generous

etc...

everybody who has really ever gotten to know me on a serious level has loved me to death

I was seeing a beautiful 36 year old woman for a month or two and she was crazy about me but like I said, I don't want to date someone with kids

Ohhh, I dunno. Might have something to do with the attitude?

 

This came across as super cocky - I don't know if that's what you typically project, but I do know that women who know what they want are attracted to that sometimes because it looks like confidence. It really just depends on what a person is looking for, and if you're approaching these "4's" and treating them like you already rated them as such, that might be why you're netting the results you're getting.

just for reference sake, I want someone naturally cute/decent body...like a girl next door type with a strong preference for fitness

I don't like high maintenance women. I don't date anybody from Eastern Europe for that reason

so explain to me why very attractive women between 35 to 45 are immediately smitten with me but the 25 to 30 year olds want nothing to do with me

 

I don't treat them any differently. I'm super nice towards everyone I interact with everywhere. I've had many gay men aggressively pursue me and ask me out and I'm even super nice in turning them down despite feeling very awkward

Then it must be that girls between 25 to 30 are evil. Is it the answer you were looking for?

so explain to me why very attractive women between 35 to 45 are immediately smitten with me but the 25 to 30 year olds want nothing to do with me

 

I don't treat them any differently. I'm super nice towards everyone I interact with everywhere. I've had many gay men aggressively pursue me and ask me out and I'm even super nice in turning them down despite feeling very awkward

Did you miss the point that a 20 something year old here on this forum (firelily) already summed you up just by the words in which you chose to share your dilemma?

Think about it for a moment.

She hasn't met you in person and already there is something off putting for her.

Did you miss the point that a 20 something year old here on this forum (firelily) already summed you up just by the words in which you chose to share your dilemma?

 

Think about it for a moment.

 

She hasn't met you in person and already there is something off putting for her.

so once again, why would a very attractive 35 year old not see that if that's the case?

and no I would never talk about leagues or money or anything like that in real life lol. I'm not socially retarded - I have normal conversation with people based on whatever they find interesting and whatever we may have in common. I try to focus on making them feel comfortable and happy around me

my personality is every bit as strong as my appearance

 

I am

loyal

honest

affectionate

caring

respectful

considerate

easy going

generous

etc...

 

everybody who has really ever gotten to know me on a serious level has loved me to death

 

I was seeing a beautiful 36 year old woman for a month or two and she was crazy about me but like I said, I don't want to date someone with kids

Okay, but you have to realize some people aren’t looking for what you have to offer. If you’re walking up to women in a bar and they turn their nose up at you it could be for 1 of 100 reasons. You really don’t get to balk at the fact that “they’re a 4 and you’re easily and 8 and how dare they just shoo you away”.

Just because you have the “whole package” doesn’t mean it’s the package that these women want.

You’re looking for one woman that fits with you and your lifestyle. Don’t question why some have ignored you or turned you down-they made the filtering process that much easier.

My God, this has got to be one of the most annoying threads I've ever read through, and it's only gone on for two pages so far. What do you want any of us to say? You act like we know you, the women you approach, and have witnessed your interactions. There's absolutely nothing any of us can do to navigate that level of nuance. If your heart is set on assuming younger women just unattainable, then feel free to assume so. None of us are going to lose sleep over it.

I had no issue getting women my age when I was 25. If you truly are the total package and are striking out with the age group, I don't know what to tell you other than, "That sucks."

Okay, but you have to realize some people aren’t looking for what you have to offer. If you’re walking up to women in a bar and they turn their nose up at you it could be for 1 of 100 reasons. You really don’t get to balk at the fact that “they’re a 4 and you’re easily and 8 and how dare they just shoo you away”.

 

Just because you have the “whole package” doesn’t mean it’s the package that these women want.

 

You’re looking for one woman that fits with you and your lifestyle. Don’t question why some have ignored you or turned you down-they made the filtering process that much easier.

and again...you're not answering the real question here

why do I have like a 90% success rate with women over 35 and a negative 0 success rate with women in my age range? It's so frustrating, it drives me up the wall I can't even tell you.

and no before you guys ask, I don't look "old". I'm 29, worst case scenario I look maybe 33 or 34. I have very masculine facial features, strong jawline, thick neck and full/thick facial hair but I also have a youthful complexion. People say I look between 30-35. I get compliments sometimes on a daily basis from random strangers

Even if outside you don’t use the words you used here to describe yourself, you do care about these rankings and people can tell you are “that type“ of person and that is a big turn off.

You do categorize everyone as good/bad looking, low/high maintenance, successful/unsuccessful. Doesn’t matter if you say these things out there, your body language surely tells a lot about you, people subconsciously catch these signals.

Why older women like you? Maybe they are desperate or not searching for a long time partner. You may say you would like a LTR but honestly that is not the impression you are giving here on the forum, probably not either in real life

Water seeks its own level. If you are a 7 and are approaching a 4, the 4 won't want you quite naturally and instinctively. You are out of her league in many respects, including drive, ambition, energy, lifestyle, priorities, etc, etc, etc. Being with you isn't going to make her feel good about herself and you are incompatible right off the bat. Too big of a difference between you.

Successful, professional, attractive women are attracted to you because you are on their level. So if you want someone who relates to you, it isn't about age per say, but who they are. Women out of grad school, educated, ambitious, on a career path are going to be more up to your level and more interested in you as a result. This isn't so much about age as it is about like attracts like.

Why on earth you'd even want to stoop down to a 4 is really beyond me. A girl next door and with a more laid back personality can still be educated, attractive and a professional. I think you need to evaluate what you are after more realistically as it matches up to you and not go after women who can't relate to you.

This has got to be one of the most annoying threads I've ever read through, and it's only gone on for two pages so far. What the hell do you want any of us to say? You act like we know you, the women you approach, and have witnessed your interactions. There's absolutely nothing any of us can do to navigate that level of nuance. If your heart is set on assuming younger women just unattainable, then feel free to assume so. None of us are going to lose sleep over it.

 

I had no issue getting women my age when I was 25. If you truly are the total package and are striking out with the age group, I don't know what to tell you other than, "That sucks."

if that's you in your avatar, I look similar to you - except just much darker (I have the black hair, thick black facial fair, etc...)

What do you think is the problem here man? Why can I easily get a beautiful 36 year old woman to fall in love with me but women my age won't even go out on a date with me?

Doesn't ever girl in her mid 20s want a guy like me who is extremely successful/established/mature/responsible and wants a relationship? I feel like I have done everything I'm supposed to do