Jump to content

Would a girl purposely not contact you to see if you’ll contact her?


Rozhni

Recommended Posts

If a girl is interested in a guy she wouldn’t play that game right?

Sometimes I wonder if a girl purposely doesn’t respond for a few days to see if I’ll text again to see how interested I am in her.

This isn’t something I’m going through, I’m just wondering for the future.

Link to comment

People aren't so complicated. If someone doesn't respond, it means they are not interested.

 

Stop with all the games and trying to find the magic formula. Be yourself!!!!!

 

It seems like you post one of these questions every two days. It's almost obsessive.

Link to comment
People aren't so complicated. If someone doesn't respond, it means they are not interested.

 

Stop with all the games and trying to find the magic formula. Be yourself!!!!!

 

It seems like you post one of these questions every two days. It's almost obsessive.

 

The only thing I’m obsessed about is posting questions on here.

Link to comment

I think it's a really interesting question. I had a gentleman friend of mine who had called me a few times during the holidays, then was initiating texts with me everyday during the holidays - merry xmas, New years, then texting just making conversation and joking around. Then last week he went to a conference for work, so I knew the texting would probably cease a little bit because he would be super busy. So I wanted to say hi, so I sent him a cute message last week and we had a cute little exchange, but then neither of us has reached out since then. I do wonder if it's my turn to reach out (I know no one should have a "turn" and should just reach out whenever we want, but you know...) because he was the one doing all the initiating for 2-3 weeks. But I don't know. Does he know I'm waiting for him to reach out or should I just be the one to reach out so he knows I'm interested?! Or did he just lose interest? It's not games we play, sometimes it's just humans being afraid.

 

I like your questions, Rozhni! :-)

Link to comment

While the 'hard-to-get' game is still out there, most people now won't waste time on that or any other dating-games.

 

Most texts are like volleys. You text, they answer and so on. When one person tapers off it means they are 1) not interested and/or 2) not interested in texting all the the time.

I wonder if a girl purposely doesn’t respond for a few days to see if I’ll text again to see how interested I am in her.
Link to comment
If a girl is interested in a guy she wouldn’t play that game right?

Sometimes I wonder if a girl purposely doesn’t respond for a few days to see if I’ll text again to see how interested I am in her.

This isn’t something I’m going through, I’m just wondering for the future.

 

Rozhni, you've done it yourself, not contacted a girl hoping to increase her interest and to see if she would contact you, you admitted it in previous threads, you did that with a couple a girls.

 

So yeah if a guy is distancing himself or "pushing" back, or even if she is just uncertain of his interest, a girl might do the same thing, and not contact him to see if he steps up.

 

It's called "push/pull" whether done consciously or not, it happens.

 

If YOU are going to play that game, expect it to be played back on you.

 

ETA: Thst said, it's also quite possible she is just not interested, or lost interest. It's hard to say without knowing other details about your interaction.

 

Question is, how do YOU respond or how would you respond when this happens?

Link to comment
So yeah if a guy is distancing himself or "pushing" back, or even if she is just uncertain of his interest, a girl might do the same thing, and not contact him to see if he steps up.

 

It's called "push/pull" whether done consciously or not, it happens.

 

If YOU are going to play that game, expect it to be played back on you.

 

Ugh, I don’t like it that guys do that. But I get it. It’s not so much a game but just a way to make sure the person is interested.

 

Ok, I’m interested! Now stop this nonsense and just pick up the phone and call me!

Link to comment

The answer is yes, yes she would. There is a book called "The Rules" for women that says not to ever contact a man unless he reaches out first. Like, ever. And to mess with his head by not responding to his texts for various lengths of time.

 

Personally I am not into playing games, but I am also not into chasing anyone. I will pull back if I sense that I am the one doing all or most of the initiating.... I like my energy in to be equal to my energy out, relatively speaking.

Link to comment

Rozhni, you seem to project a lot.

 

I recall your posting that women "want what they can't or don't have." When your own behavior (and words) suggest YOU want (or have wanted) what "you" don't have. See your own previous threads

 

Now you ask if women intentionally don't text/call, when again you yourself have admitted to not texting/calling to "test" her interest, or increase her interest.

 

This is projection, it would behoove you to explore this.

Link to comment

Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I have to do more work.. I overthink.. sometimes I feel like I’m doing 60% so I back off and don’t text on purpose.. then she texts finally.. then I feel it’s 50/50 again but then I want to see if she’ll take 60%. It’s not that I’m purposefully playing with her. It’s more that I’m afraid to catch feelings for a girl and later she loses interest. I want to feel certain. Just like anybody else.

I really should start calling. She called me 3 times and we had wonderful conversations but I’ve never called once..

Link to comment
Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I have to do more work.. I overthink.. sometimes I feel like I’m doing 60% so I back off and don’t text on purpose.. then she texts finally.. then I feel it’s 50/50 again but then I want to see if she’ll take 60%. It’s not that I’m purposefully playing with her. It’s more that I’m afraid to catch feelings for a girl and later she loses interest. I want to feel certain. Just like anybody else.

I really should start calling. She called me 3 times and we had wonderful conversations but I’ve never called once..

 

Well since you admit you intentionally don't contact when feeling uncertain, why are you asking if she would do the same?

 

Of course she would and in this situation, her having called THREE times and your not calling even once would definitely warrant her not initiating contact again.

 

Confused as to why you're even asking this, quite frankly. It's so obvious, basic common sense really.

 

Why haven't you called her?

Link to comment
Well since you admit you intentionally don't contact when feeling uncertain, why are you asking if she would do the same?

 

Of course she would and in this situation, her having called THREE times and your not calling even once would definitely warrant her not initiating contact again.

 

Confused as to why you're even asking this, quite frankly. It's so obvious, basic common sense really.

 

Why haven't you called her?

 

I’ve just never had a relationship where we would call each other. It was always texting or seeing each other in person. My gf 5 years ago would call me every night, but that was a committed relationship and she was obbsessive (ended badly) I guess I don’t call because I feel like she’s always busy with something. She’s not just sitting there staring at a wall so I don’t want to take her time. I’m always busy too. I never call anybody. Literally. Unless it’s urgent and I need an answer.

 

I probably should start calling her, but how do I go about it? She’s really comfortable over the phone with me more than she is in person too so this could help since we hardly see each other. I realized everytime she called me it’s when she sits in her car in her driveway when she comes home from somewhere and we talk for about an hour until I have to go.

 

I’d rather text because of how busy I am with business and just people constantly around me. When we text it’s like 1 or 2 very long texts a day. Like paragraphs and everything.

 

Tell me some signs I should look out for when I do call!

I dont want to call if she doesn’t even want to talk.

How do I tell the difference between if she’s genuinely busy or just making an excuse?

Link to comment

I have to say, I get nervous with calling men, and if I called someone THREE times and if he was only texting and never called or put in a lot of effort, I would definitely think that this person was not interested. When in fact he was just sitting there waiting for me to contact him again. She is definitely waiting for you to CALL. Call, not text.

Link to comment

OMG games. If you play games hoping to increase someone's interest in you, just the fact you posted this shows you do, you are not ready for a real relationship.

 

Personally, (I am a female), I immediately LOSE interest if I see inconsistency in communication / interest. It makes me feel disconnected and defensive, and if anything, makes me mirror the other person's behavior. If he hasn't texted, I won't text etc - not because I am suddenly intrigued and secretly hoping he will, but because I legit lost interest and think he sucks now.

 

I will admit when I was very young to dating, age 25 or below, and chased a-holes, I didn't feel the same way - so perhaps go for some immature teenage girl, and your tactics will work!

Link to comment

That’s too funny, I do the same thing… call from my car… it’s convenient in this busy life...

 

Does she say she’s “busy” or has she “made excuses” to not want to talk like you said in your message?

 

If I was her... I would want you to call me, even if I was busy. Just do it. That’s the best time, because then there’s lots to talk about. And don’t compare the habits of your last relationship to this one. :-)

Link to comment

OP I thought you were simply talking about making contact, to me it doesn't matter whether it's via text or phone call.

 

Frankly I prefer text.

 

In your case, she has "reached out" three times, and you haven't reached out once.

 

So yeah, reach out. Text or call it doesn't matter, all that matters is that you reach out and indicate your interest.

Link to comment

At the risk of sounding like a game player, I tend to match the other persons texting style in the early stages. If you consistently take 2 hours to reply but I'm responding to you in 15 seconds, unless you text people and throw your phone and run away from it, you're probably low interest so I'm gonna match that. You're engaged I'm engaged. Unless I don't like you.

Link to comment
Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I have to do more work.. I overthink.. sometimes I feel like I’m doing 60% so I back off and don’t text on purpose.. then she texts finally.. then I feel it’s 50/50 again but then I want to see if she’ll take 60%. It’s not that I’m purposefully playing with her. It’s more that I’m afraid to catch feelings for a girl and later she loses interest. I want to feel certain. Just like anybody else.

I really should start calling. She called me 3 times and we had wonderful conversations but I’ve never called once..

 

Wrong, you are acting out of fear. Don't normalize that.

Link to comment
At the risk of sounding like a game player, I tend to match the other persons texting style in the early stages. If you consistently take 2 hours to reply but I'm responding to you in 15 seconds, unless you text people and throw your phone and run away from it, you're probably low interest so I'm gonna match that. You're engaged I'm engaged. Unless I don't like you.

 

So I sent her a text and the link to take the 5 love languages test to kinda share our results and she sent a couple very LONG paragraph texts and I replied with a long text back but I ended up falling asleep and she sent another very long text, (deep conversation) but I didnt reply until the next day.. she didn’t respond yet and it’s been like 40 hours.. how does that work?

She does this a lot actually. Long replies but sometimes takes a day or two to reply but when she replies it’s a lot.. I take 4-5 hours to reply to her but I never take a full day lol.. she confuses me. Then out of nowhere she’ll also call me and just talk for an hour until I say I have to go lol

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...