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Thread: So me and my boyfriend "split up" and things are messy now

  1. #1
    Tailsloveshugs

    Join Date
    Jan 2018
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    1

    So me and my boyfriend "split up" and things are messy now

    So here's our history for y'all: We quickly started talking, flirting and soon we became lovers. Everything else was doing just so fine during our first three weeks together. It was heaven. We though that we met the person that we would have a family together and all that stuff. And one more thing: I have been trying to kill myself on the past three years because I didn't have a reason to live. But then, suddenly I had. And it was him.



    I started going to his house and become friend of his friends as well... till my mother discovered I was dating a guy and she decided to cut internet from home in order to stop me talking with him. She attacked me on that same morning and I picked up my things up and run away from home. He said I could live with him till things started to calm down whcih eventually happened.



    So my mother started being more "accepting" in one way of me, still, she's a goddamn homophobe. But she couldn't stop me from going to his house and being his boyfriend anymore... execpt for one thing. I had to pick between my dog and him and I decided to give my dog away because I wasn't going to be able to pay his bills as well. And then things started going up again... till that one night on his best friend's house. He said that didn't loved me nor did he know how love felt as feeling for other people. I completely broke down from that moment and on. Later that night he "realised" that he actually loved me. Still the damage was done... but I can't blame him for the actions that I started having.



    So we started to spent the weekends just him and me. Without his friends and stuff. He's said to me that he wasn't all that fond of his best friend's friendship because she never respects or tries to understand his way to see things. A week or something then, he said that was going to kill himself or would try to run away from home. I asked his best friend if she knew that he was going to that though she didn't. And things started to seem that she didn't gave that much than about him at all. Still, we would late fight during two days because he felt that he was leaving his friends behind, which well, was kinda true and I was not capable to understand that he needed his own space as well. I was started being jealous of his best friend and started comparing his other relationships he had with ours and started to charge a lot of things to him. I was not capable to value his worths, his affection and all his attempts in order to satisfy me. We fought during New Year's Eve about this same bull**** and just now I realised how all of that was unworthy.



    We broke up for two, three days and he ended up kissing one guy during this time period. He said before we returned to our relationship I could make up with someone else at a party. Which I did. Still.... It didn't felt very confortable to me nor he says at least that it did for him. He realised now that he never actually loved me, but still had some special feeling about me, that he doesn't know what name to give to. He says he only loves four people on his live one being his mother, that best friend of his and his grandparents. During this time period I started to think about more myself and searched for psycologhical help. During this weekend he said that was better for us two to split up, this was right after I asked him to stop talking with that boy he kissed during New Year's Eve. Even though he says he didn't want to nor did I. Though, he said still wants to be friends with me, and by that I mean that we are still doing stuff couples, spooning with him and stuff. We even had sex some hours later. He still wants to see me and do all that stuff we me. He also said that in a relatioship between two people friendship does not exists. So he says he wants to be my best friend. He keeps sending me hearts, keeps calling me "love" and stuff. We are basically free to met new people even though he says he's not ready for a relationship so soon and apparently he still feels that way for me, The boy he kissed, he just considers a friend, and his best friends confirms that.... Another close friend of his told me that this is the first time this happened. When he breaks up with someone he stops talking with ther person alltogether nor does sees that person again.



    So what y'all think about this situation? Do y'all think we can be together again? He is also searching for psycologhical help. Discuss.

  2. #2
    1a1a
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Posts
    1,444
    My two cents is, donít settle for something that has the hallmarks of a relationship (contact, intimacy) but none of the land marks (security, commitment, a mutual willingness to build a life together).

  3. #3
    DanZee
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Location
    Boston, MA
    Age
    61
    Posts
    1,699
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    Male
    I think you both need counseling or medical help because you're both playing with suicidal thoughts, you're both confused, and you're not sure of your feelings or what you're actually feeling. I'm also guessing that you're both teens, and there's a lot you both need to process. There are LGBT hotlines in your area and also national hotlines you can call to get pointed in the right direction. Maybe you should put the relationship on hold until you can get some guidance to figure things out.

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