I think Lost the love of my life and I need some advice on what to do next. I'm lost and confused. P

OK so i'm going to try and make this as short as i can. So about 3 and a half months ago me and my girlfriend of a year broke up. The reason being was i cheated on her, i didn't meet up with anyone, kiss or sex with anyone. All i did was flirt with some girls on a app called Tinder it was only for a brief period of time. I thought i was missing my old life of going out and meeting different girls but then i came to my senses like am i doing i have a girl that loves me and i love her why am i doing this and stopped immediately. Cut off contact with all females i met on there. So a few months after i did it my girlfriend found out and left me I know what i did was wrong, I know it was messed up and I'm not trying to justify it I shouldn't have done what i did and i feel so much remorse and regret for what i did I really Love this girl with all my heart

We are broken up at this point but then we keep spending entire weekends and days together. i work all week so i could only see her on my off days. When we are together everything is great. We spend the weekends together sleeping together, telling each other how much we love each other. Then i go back to work for the week and she hates me again then i see her on the weekend and its love again. Rinse and repeat same cycle over and over again. this goes on for the next 3 months

last month the last time we see each other. We spend the night together but she doesn't touch me or let her touch her but she still sleeps next to me. she goes to work and even then she comes back from work and spends the night with me again. we leave on good terms

So last week new years eve she blocks me saying i don't listen to her and she doesn't want to talk. i have not heard from her since It was her birthday recently and i and got ignored. i been texting her and trying to call her all week but no answers. Just radio silence I don't know what to do at this point. I love this girls so much and i just want her back. Is it too late for me to save this?

I thought i was missing my old life of going out and meeting different girls

You had a good relationship and felt you were missing on other things.

Now you are free to flirt with other women and feel you are missing on a good relationship.

The grass is always greener on the other side, isn't it?

I'm sorry, I don't know your age, but it sounds a bit immature to want it all.

Also, you broke up and kept seeing each other occasionally and ony NOW that she stopped all contact you feel desperate and ask for help - did you even try to fix anything while you were seeing each other occasionally?

I think she deserves to be left alone and continue with her life, if that's what she wants.

What prompted this fight? Without understanding her or what's wrong you can't "save this".

So last week new years eve she blocks me saying i don't listen to her

Everyone falls in love once in a lifetime.There are ups and downs in relationship sometimes its goes so well sometimes it goes so bad that we think to end the relationship with person. Social media sometimes ruin your relationship. Whether to trust your partner is cheating or not. Possessiveness all over. social media apps like instagram, snapchat , tinder facebook people look out for new people to talk too. People should take love, relationship advice before going to all this. Relationship are not that easy. And if its a long distance relationship we need to worry more about our partner.

I have to wonder if she might have met someone else.

If not, then something caused her to suddenly go silent on you now.

Her moods during the week when apart from you are easy to explain. You caused her to feel insecure,

which she didn't need to feel when you were spending weekends together, because she had you with her.

Since you're blocked, you're in a tough spot. You could write a very short letter and send it, but keep

it short and to the point. Say you love her, you want to work it out, and are willing to talk when she wants.

After that, you need to walk away and not try any more attempts to contact her.

Good luck. Take this time to grow up and emotionally mature, so as not to repeat the same mistake again.

I have to wonder if she might have met someone else.

If not, then something caused her to suddenly go silent on you now.

 

Her moods during the week when apart from you are easy to explain. You caused her to feel insecure,

which she didn't need to feel when you were spending weekends together, because she had you with her.

 

Since you're blocked, you're in a tough spot. You could write a very short letter and send it, but keep

it short and to the point. Say you love her, you want to work it out, and are willing to talk when she wants.

After that, you need to walk away and not try any more attempts to contact her.

 

Good luck. Take this time to grow up and emotionally mature, so as not to repeat the same mistake again.

I think that this is very good advice. But I would hold off at least a week on making any contact. Give her the chance to contact you first. Then ask her out, go out on a date, don't just stay at home.

And dude, if you think your situation is bad... oh lol... read my stories... I think you actually have a pretty good chance here. If you guys love each other, and the relationship was solid besides that flirting on Tinder slip-up, ...I think you have a solid chance. But if she has lost interest, or whatever, gonna be harder.

Im aware what i did was selfish and immature. I literally did it for no reason. To answer your questions our relationship was really great. We were both heavily invested. We were planning marriage. I wasnt abusive and we didnt fight often and when we did it would be over minor things and we would make up right after fighting. I've done everything i could and showed her. Poems, im sorry letters, flowers, her favorite choclate, teddy bears, a promise ring, a necklace. Heck we even went to the jewlery store and found out the engagement ring she liked. Went back the next day and put a down payment on it. I gave her all my passwords to all my accounts.

Here's where i think i messed up, i kept chasing and begging her to come back. Kept on asking for a second chance. I wouldnt leave her alone smh.

I've done everything i could and showed her. Poems, im sorry letters, flowers, her favorite choclate, teddy bears, a promise ring, a necklace. Heck we even went to the jewlery store and found out the engagement ring she liked. Went back the next day and put a down payment on it. I gave her all my passwords to all my accounts.

 

Here's where i think i messed up, i kept chasing and begging her to come back. Kept on asking for a second chance. I wouldnt leave her alone smh.

Was that before, or after she found out?

Not good. Stop contacting her. Give her time. Let her come to you. Then ask her out, go out have some fun, and stop apologizing. Its enough.

Why did you break up?

So after the last time i saw her which was a month ago. We talk on the phone until she has to go to work. She tells me that she wants me to leave her be until she decides to talk to me. I respect her wishes and leave her be until she decides to talk to me. A week and a half later she hits me up on how school has her stressing and how she has so many exams and assignments. So to help her i knock out her assignments for her so she can focus on her exams. So the weekend comes her exams are done and im off of work. I ask her if she wants to hangout she says she doubts it. I tell her how much i miss her and on my time your the only person i want to spend my time with. She then blocks me. But im blocked but she checks my location on my phone(cause she has my passwords). She then unblocks me and we usually play games on the facebook messenger app. She tells me im only unblocked so she can play these messenger games. So i say alright and play these games with her(at this point im just happy to be doing something with her at this point). A few times i talk to her and say sweet things and she gets upset. So on December 30th we been playing these games all day so i just decide to tell her i love her. She then gets pissed and tells me "you just dont listen i dont want to talk this is just for games and im blocked now". I havent heard from her since. Im been trying to call, text and sent her the most deepest heartfelt apology i have ever wrote. I admit i've gotten emotional. Begged her. On jan 4th i wished her happy bday no answer but she was signed onto my accounts. I havent messaged her or called in a day. I know i had to stop. But im legit confused. So from Dec 31st till today i havent heard from her.

This was all after she found out.

The first week of September we broke up. But like i said until last month we saw each other almost every weekend

Okay. Change all of your passwords. She is no longer your girlfriend and is not entitled to check on your stuff. Stop idolizing her. Don't contact her. She knows you want her.

She will most likely ask you "Why have you changed your passowords - going on Tinder again?" - All you need to say is that "You no longer want to be my girl - that is information that only my girl gets to have".

Let her come to you.

So if i do that would do you think my chances are. I'm worried i may have pushed her away with all the chasing and not giving her space.

Change your passwords on every device and to every site. Most cheaters do this as a trick to "regain trust", but in reality it's silly. That in itself means you are trying too hard to prove something. She has not forgiven you for cheating so leave her alone. All the gifts etc. are so overdone that it screams "I'm going to cheat again and want you to forgive and forget to make it easy For ME". Stop all this.

she has my passwords Go no contact. If she forgives you and wants to reconcile, she'll reach out. Stop the dopey phone games and other friendzone behavior.

So if i do that would do you think my chances are. I'm worried i may have pushed her away with all the chasing and not giving her space.

No idea. Its worse that you did that, and it will be even worse if you keep putting her on a pedestal.

Things need to be in balance. In terms of relationship power - she has 100% of the power right now. By you taking away her access - you get some of your independence/power back. By you not contacting her, you show that you can be alone and happy - you don't "NEED" her to live. You need to gain her respect again, and having someone begging you/doing everything to please you like a puppy dog - does not inspire respect.

Anyway... that is my take on it. Walk away, don't contact, cut her off. Give her time, let her come to you. She will contact you sooner or later. And all you need to do is... "Hey, nice to hear from you. Wanna meet up and catch up - I was thinking of doing "XYZ (insert something fun that you feel like doing)?" .... Her: "bla bla bla... how come you took off your passwords.. bla bla..." ... You: "well, we broke up, that is information that only my girlfriend gets to have - so how about we go out for XYZ?". Her: "No..." , then you.. :"Okay, that's too bad... let me know if you change your mind". And don't contact her again....

Let her come to you.... try this 2-3 times... if nothing, then you need to let her come to you and ask you out... nothing else you can do really.

This is just my opinion. Others here might differ.

I gave them to her because she asked for them. Also i thought i was showing her how sorry i am. I know its something i would never do again. I miss this woman dearly. I want to spend my life with her. I just wanted to show her how sorry i am and thats the only way i knew how. It doesnt mean i have bad intentions. A person cant feel genuine remorse for what they did by trying to prove it. It was a mistake

I gave them to her because she asked for them. Also i thought i was showing her how sorry i am. I know its something i would never do again. I miss this woman dearly. I want to spend my life with her. I just wanted to show her how sorry i am and thats the only way i knew how. It doesnt mean i have bad intentions. A person cant feel genuine remorse for what they did by trying to prove it. It was a mistake

She knows you are sorry. Keeping bringing it up, and apologizing will make it impossible for her to let go of it, and forget it. You need to stop.

"I gave them to her because she asked for them." - What did you give her?

My passwords sm, email, cell phone

So basically the best thing for me to do at this point is just disappear until she comes to me. What i she asks for a favor and needs help. Should i help?

what is sm? Why does she want your passwords, don't get it.

Social Media (facebook, snapchat etc.) Well she wanted my passwords to see if i was doing anything else bad or worse. What im up to etc.

Which their wasnt or hasnt been since the intial incident.

So basically the best thing for me to do at this point is just disappear until she comes to me. What i she asks for a favor and needs help. Should i help?

If she asks for a favor... like what? Fix a toilet, or help her with homework... that sort of stuff? No - don't.

That is something that you do for your girlfriend / friends. She is neither.

Her: "Hey.... my toilet is broken... don't know what to do... can you come help?"

You: "Oh... that sucks. Sorry, I am really busy. I would try calling *Pete's Plumbing*.

Her: "Busy with what... ??? You can't even help me with a toilet????"

You: "Sorry honey, I can't. Things to do. If you wanna meet up one of these days, let me know. Gotta go, bye."

Dude... look, I know it sucks. And it is easier for me to give advice here than for me to do the exact same thing I am telling you. My gf and I just broke up a couple weeks ago, and its torture when she doesn't contact me... but there is nothing you can do. You have to walk away...