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Passwords and Trust


Emotiredness

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To keep things short, my bf refuse to give me his password for his phone, nor allows me to use his finger print to unlock it.

 

I can be holding his LOCKED phone, I can be holding it when he uses Google maps and he’s driving, but not when it is unlocked. He does show me his messages when he’s texting beside me.. but I’m just curious why is he so secretive?

 

Fair enough, I do not like it if he knows my password and I’m quite reluctant to pass my phone for him to use... But it just makes me wonder is he hiding something from me?

 

I have asked him about it before and he told me that he dislike people messing around with his phone and it has happened before...

 

What is this?

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but I’m just curious why is he so secretive?

 

Fair enough, I do not like it if he knows my password and I’m quite reluctant to pass my phone for him to use... But it just makes me wonder is he hiding something from me?

You think he's being so secretive and hiding something from you, yet you don't like him seeing your phone or knowing your password etc either? Why? What are you being so secretive about and what are you hiding?

 

Double standards, much?

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As a guy, I wouldn’t want my significant other to want to look at my phone and I wouldn’t want to look at hers unless she shows me in which case I’d just smile and nod and get back to what we were doing. Not because I have anything to hide but because trust is an important part in a relationship.

If he has given you reasons in the past not to trust him, like cheating, or attempted cheating, I’d say move on to the next one (easier said than done I know) but if there’s nothing, try trusting until he gives you a reason not to. If he has given you a reason, send him and his phone somewhere else.

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Okay, fair point as it does sound like that. Why I asked and posted this thread was because of an incident where he showed me a photo of him and his friends and I held his phone and turned it towards me. He immediately grabbed the phone towards him. It just made me wonder what is he hiding when his first reaction was to do that...

 

Maybe I’m just over thinking things.

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To keep things short, my bf refuse to give me his password for his phone, nor allows me to use his finger print to unlock it.

 

I can be holding his LOCKED phone, I can be holding it when he uses Google maps and he’s driving, but not when it is unlocked. He does show me his messages when he’s texting beside me.. but I’m just curious why is he so secretive?

 

Fair enough, I do not like it if he knows my password and I’m quite reluctant to pass my phone for him to use... But it just makes me wonder is he hiding something from me?

 

I have asked him about it before and he told me that he dislike people messing around with his phone and it has happened before...

 

What is this?

 

He's not secretive. He has a right to his privacy. Respect it.

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He's not secretive. He has a right to his privacy. Respect it.

 

Yes. i'm married and I have given my husband passwords as needed but I have personal stuff on my phone and email/facebook to which I am entitled. I don't ask for his passwords (although again since we are married and have a child for safety reasons it wouldn't be the worst idea). People are entitled to their privacy. He has told you his boundaries and shown them -either accept/respect or move on.

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It's because he is bad-mouthing you, or chatting with people he does not want you to know about. Either way, having him freak out when you are only using Google Maps or looking at a photo is a sign he is hiding something. Do you have access to his computer? But I am not the best person to comment. Recently caught my hubby for the 3rd time chatting with a woman, so everyone is suspect. And I've had access to everything and all his passwords for years now. So it's either you just never hold his phone to make a point, or turn a blind eye, because it doesn't get any better until they get caught. Or be cool with his text privacy.

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But I am not the best person to comment. Recently caught my hubby for the 3rd time chatting with a woman, so everyone is suspect. And I've had access to everything and all his passwords for years now.

 

The truest statement out of this whole post.

 

Look, untrustworthiness breeds more untrustworthiness. A person relinquishing their passwords for reasons based on obtaining trust from a partner only do it because they themselves do not trust other people according to their own actions, which are often less than favorable. Meaning, distrustful people are distrustful people themselves. Pretty simple.

 

An experienced trustworthy person knows giving their partner their passwords is a very bad idea because the temptation to peek is high. Then, the partner will start "finding" things to gripe about and create drama when it shouldn't be significant in the first place.

 

In short, sharing passwords creates negative traits and emotions rather than positive ones.

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