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Thread: First Fight

  1. #1
    conflicted57
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    First Fight

    I have been dating my [23F] significant other [23M] for almost 3 mo. now. We are both busy people and see each other 1-2 times a week and text several times each day. However, we have not discussed being exclusive or defining the relationship at all. I have met a couple of his friends and he has met mine and agreed to meet my parents.

    On NYE, we were out with my friends and I ended up accidentally drinking too much. At some point in the night (I don't remember) I apparently started talking to a random guy at the bar. The next thing I know when my memory returned, he was yelling at me for talking to this guy. Since I couldn't give him an explanation (again, I didn't remember) all I could say was I never would have done that and I only wanted to be with him. He kept pressing and arguing and I eventually yelled back that we've never discussed our relationship so I don't know what I can and cannot do.

    The next morning I said I was sorry and again sent an apology and that I wanted to be with him via text, he told me he was confused but thanked me for saying that. I didn't hear from him for the rest of the week until I called and left a voicemail asking if there was a time to grab coffee this weekend. To which he texted that Monday would work.

    Is this "relationship" over? I am aware that the way I acted was terribly disrespectful and it is dangerous to get so intoxicated, but I truly do not remember any of the situation and was horrified to hear of it when he confronted me afterwards. I would have never in 1000 years paid attention to anyone but him had I been able to control my actions. I have really spent time wrestling with myself about this and I am positive.

    any advice you could give me would be helpful, I don't want to ruin what was otherwise a great thing with one drunken mistake.

  2. #2
    Rozhni
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    Quote Originally Posted by conflicted57 [Register to see the link]
    I have been dating my [23F] significant other [23M] for almost 3 mo. now. We are both busy people and see each other 1-2 times a week and text several times each day. However, we have not discussed being exclusive or defining the relationship at all. I have met a couple of his friends and he has met mine and agreed to meet my parents.

    On NYE, we were out with my friends and I ended up accidentally drinking too much. At some point in the night (I don't remember) I apparently started talking to a random guy at the bar. The next thing I know when my memory returned, he was yelling at me for talking to this guy. Since I couldn't give him an explanation (again, I didn't remember) all I could say was I never would have done that and I only wanted to be with him. He kept pressing and arguing and I eventually yelled back that we've never discussed our relationship so I don't know what I can and cannot do.

    The next morning I said I was sorry and again sent an apology and that I wanted to be with him via text, he told me he was confused but thanked me for saying that. I didn't hear from him for the rest of the week until I called and left a voicemail asking if there was a time to grab coffee this weekend. To which he texted that Monday would work.

    Is this "relationship" over? I am aware that the way I acted was terribly disrespectful and it is dangerous to get so intoxicated, but I truly do not remember any of the situation and was horrified to hear of it when he confronted me afterwards. I would have never in 1000 years paid attention to anyone but him had I been able to control my actions. I have really spent time wrestling with myself about this and I am positive.

    any advice you could give me would be helpful, I don't want to ruin what was otherwise a great thing with one drunken mistake.
    I donít feel like that was enough to end a relationship especially since you say you were that drunk. He seems to be overreacting. I would be upset, too but why end a relationship over that? Why did he let you talk to a guy like that if you were that drunk?

  3. #3
    boltnrun
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    It's not up to anyone to "let" someone do something. These are adults.

    By "talking to", what do you mean? You simply had a conversation? Does he only want you speaking to him?

  4. #4
    Capricorn3
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    Quote Originally Posted by conflicted57 [Register to see the link]
    On NYE, we were out with my friends and I ended up accidentally drinking too much. At some point in the night (I don't remember) I apparently started talking to a random guy at the bar. The next thing I know when my memory returned, he was yelling at me for talking to this guy.
    I can't imagine why he would have such an unbelievably childish reaction to you talking to another guy. He is either incredibly immature or you were overly flirting and not just "talking".

    Maybe time for you both to re-think this relationship.

  5. #5
    conflicted57
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    I havenít gotten a clear answer from him regarding how it happened. All I remember him saying is I started talking to the guy and walked to the bar with him, but came back pretty quickly.

  6. #6
    boltnrun
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    Quote Originally Posted by conflicted57 [Register to see the link]
    I havenít gotten a clear answer from him regarding how it happened. All I remember him saying is I started talking to the guy and walked to the bar with him, but came back pretty quickly.
    So he wants you to talk to him only? Is that OK with you?

  7. #7
    Honeycomb8
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    Well considering u haven't defined what is you guys have with each other, he has no right to get pissed off at u. Like are u guys even in a relationship.

  8. #8
    conflicted57
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    No, but if he interpreted it as flirting then I see his point

  9. #9
    boltnrun
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    Quote Originally Posted by conflicted57 [Register to see the link]
    No, but if he interpreted it as flirting then I see his point
    No, if he "interpreted" it as flirting when you simply had a conversation with a human who didn't happen to be him or a female, that is HIS issue, not yours.

  10. #10
    Capricorn3
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    Quote Originally Posted by conflicted57 [Register to see the link]
    No, but if he interpreted it as flirting then I see his point
    To be fair, when observing drunk people "talking" to the opposite sex, it doesn't usually come across as talking, but looks a lot more like flirting and sometimes over the top, which could make any partner feel uneasy and not overly happy. (Just trying to see it from his point of view). That said, as long as none of us know what really happened, it's all just a guessing game.

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