She is 18 and I am 26.... NEED HELP SPECIALLY FROM A TEENAGER POINT OF VIEW

So I met her at the gym, i was her trainer. After training her for a month i realized I had feelings for her. Asked her out for coffee after one sessions and she agreed. We started texting a lot after that. We did the same a week after but after coffee we hooked up. Two days later same thing. Then on Saturday that week she asked me to come over, and she told me she thought we were moving too fast and needed to slow things down.... It was very hard for me as I really loved the texting, cuddles and kisses that we shared, but after that conversation everything went down. We went on a couple of dates during the next month, and we always got pretty close emotionally, we made out and spent some good times together. However whenever I trained her she would not act like she would on our dates which got me confused. I asked her why was she so hot and so cold with me at random times but she said she didnt know. I understand as a teenager she would struggle heaps to make up her mind.. I also struggled being able to tell when it was okay for me to kiss her or not, cos sometimes I would walk her home and she would just say bye but others she would kiss me quite a bit..... We had a talk about this and we agreed that she would initiate any kind of intimacy, since I would always be receptive to it but she wouldnt.

Well it has been christmas and new years recently and she went away for two weeks. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity for her to maybe start to miss me and i hoped we could get closer once she got back. Well she texted me when she got back asking if I could trainer her the next day, i said i couldnt cos i was too busy, but asked her if she would be keen to meet on that day, which she agreed to. Once we met though, she seemed really tired and out of it, I didnt think that i could cuddle her or kiss her because she did not seem in the mood. Anyways, after like an hour and a half she said she needed to go home soon (8.30pm during new years break), it got me very sad but then i dropped her anyways, in the car she wouldnt even attempt to hug me goodbye... I felt so awful that driving home I decided to call her and tell her that I couldnt continue anymore, it was too hard for me, that i had to cut all type of contact with her and I was not sure she would ever feel anything for me... she seemed sad about it genuinly, but accepted my decision.

The next day was the worst of my recent years... i was depressed and felt like i had a hole in my heart. I could not stand the thought of not seeing her ever again, so I called her and apologize for being impulsive and giving up so quick... she seemed okay with it..

Now most people would think I am wasting my time with a girl so young, but if I noticed there was nothing there I wouldnt even have tried...

She has nearly 0 experience when it comes to relationships, she has only kissed one or two boys tops.. so I dont know if her lack of showing emotion, or lack of texting me etc is just her normal behaviour?

Am i being used? is there a way I could find out if this is the case?

AM i messing this up by talking so much about my feelings? i never had to buht since she is so young i thought itd be better to explain how i felt so that she could understand and feel comfortable with me, but I dont know..

I need some advice, and please ask me anything, thank you!

It does not sound like she’s into you like you are into her. You should have stuck with your decision to end contact. She has not shown romantic interest since date 2. You may be in the dreaded friend zone. It seems unprofessional to date clients. I think you are setting yourself up for more frustration.

Hi thanks for the reply.

Well our last date was on December 20th, and like i said in every date we did get intimate, as much as you can get intimate with a virgin teen anyways. And not long ago she told me she was not friendzoning me, she just wasnt sure if she wanted to be my gf and that only time would tell. that was a couple of weeks ago. I know she isnt as into me as i am into her, but i thought maybe i could change that, I mean, i dont even know if ive tried my best...

Agree with shessofly. She's too young, inexperienced and confused. Don't push so hard with this.

in every date we did get intimate, as much as you can get intimate with a virgin teen anyways. I know she isnt as into me as i am into her, but i thought maybe i could change that, I mean, i dont even know if ive tried my best...

Even as an inexperienced teen I knew if I was into someone & I wanted to be around them. I’m sorry, I just don’t see anything here. You can keep trying but I don’t think you should invest anymore time or emotion into someone who is not reciprocating, especially early on where she should want to spend time with you more often. What has she done to initiate any more dates in the past two weeks?

we agreed that she would initiate any kind of intimacy, since I would always be receptive to it but she wouldnt.

honest mate , when you have to make an agreement like this you know it is time to call it a day . This is not an adult relationship or even shaping slightly into one ...She is a young inexperienced girl who doesn't appear to be invested in any more then the training aspect and honest , if I were her I would change trainers now , not because of you or anything you have done , but she seems to cross a boundary I think she wasn't sure she wanted to cross . She showed no emotion at you ending it or starting it back up ...she just seems to be half heatedly going with the flow .

I guess nothing other than asking me if id be keen to trainer her =/ she has never rejected any of my date invites in the past... but i see your point and its pretty sad.. i guess maybe i need to hear more from her in person, that way breaking it up wont leave me wondering whether if i shouldve tried harder or if i missread the signs

honest mate , when you have to make an agreement like this you know it is time to call it a day . This is not an adult relationship or even shaping slightly into one ...She is a young inexperienced girl who doesn't appear to be invested in any more then the training aspect and honest , if I were her I would change trainers now , not because of you or anything you have done , but she seems to cross a boundary I think she wasn't sure she wanted to cross . She showed no emotion at you ending it or starting it back up ...she just seems to be half heatedly going with the flow .

she told me she would not want to train with anyone else, and this was when i broke up with her through the phone and told her that i coudnt trainer her anymore.. i know ive probably been so stupid for letting myself fall for someone i could never have something with... but i guess id rather hear it from her.. any suggestions in what i should ask her so i can get some clarity??

OP please note:

If you were my trainer and we dated, when in the gym i would treat you like my trainer so that i could focus on training

It does not sound like she’s into you like you are into her. You should have stuck with your decision to end contact. She has not shown romantic interest since date 2. You may be in the dreaded friend zone. It seems unprofessional to date clients. I think you are setting yourself up for more frustration.

I agree with the above. I think you should take the hint and not contact anymore. Learn from this and leave her be.

You need to realize that the human brain doesn't fully mature, especially in the decision making area, until about age 25. You also have to realize that most teens don't meet and stay with a lifetime partner. Many have numerous dating experiences before finding a lifetime partner. I know when I was a teen, I dated someone for two years, and then at aged eighteen, my relationships that year only lasted two to four months. And I never was interested in dating anyone more than 2 years older than me. It was something I would've been very uncomfortable with.

Even though a woman has the body of a mature adult, it doesn't mean her brain is quite there yet. But even so, as the other posters say, she was somewhat attracted to you and tried dating, but saw that in the end, she just not that into you. Most people have the most passion during the first four months, and she never even went through that high phase with you.

Choose someone you don't have to convince to be with you. You can clearly see when someone is crazy about you. You'll have a better chance at success with someone like that. And make a rule not to date people at your place of work. It becomes awkward for everyone when things go south.

Hi there.

Im a girl and im 25. I was with my boyfriend who is 19years old. I know it sounds crazy but i really love him. We were together for 2 years until he decided to break off. 😣

Dude.... if you have to come in here asking for a "teenager's point of view," you've gotta stop. I don't know what else to say. Just back off completely and focus on your form at the gym and, not hers.

It sounds like you are trying to date her despite her not being ready. Frankly, you being a 26 year old man and referring to her as a "teenager" and "virgin teen" creeps me out. This girl sounds not ready. It sounds like she cannot keep up yet with the physical and mental aspects of an adult relationship, yet you persist. This is not a young girl who "is mature for her age". She is immature and therefore, the age gap DOES matter in this case i.e. she is too young for you. She is not ready for an adult relationship and by pushing/coercing her you risk hurting her. Imo, you need to back off and stay away from young girls if according to your own admission are mentally still a "teenager" i.e. still a kid.

Hi thanks for the reply.

Well our last date was on December 20th, and like i said in every date we did get intimate, as much as you can get intimate with a virgin teen anyways. And not long ago she told me she was not friendzoning me, she just wasnt sure if she wanted to be my gf and that only time would tell. that was a couple of weeks ago. I know she isnt as into me as i am into her, but i thought maybe i could change that, I mean, i dont even know if ive tried my best...

She's not sure she wants to be your girlfriend but she is not "friendzoning" you. If you're not the boyfriend and you're not a friend (friend zone). What are you?