So hard....

My boyfriend and I are together with each other for the first time in 5 months. We've had some arguments/miscommunication over phone in those months (he admittedly has trust issues in general). But it had started to make me question our relationship (i.e. if I can deal with it). We do have so much in common and love each other (it's been over a year). Thursday morning we were intimate and it was my birthday. He said it felt "different" and I thought it a little as well (emotionally). But I wasn't going to say anything. He's much more expressive than me and brought it up. This morning....same thing. He even questioned if I'd been with someone else (which of course I haven't'). I did tell him that I have felt up and down about us and the 5 months didn't help.

We had a looooong talk and are trying to work on it (reestablishing our connection).

Is this normal in a LDR?

So, Im no expert about LDR nor relationships in general but I am just going to give some advice just based on a 7 year relationship experience with my bf.

What does he mean by "different"? Is this justified as a good or bad thing? Is this the first time you guys have been intimate? Given that you've said that you felt up and down about the relationship -- does this suggest you may be having doubts? Maybe that is something you want to clarify your feelings about first. Especially with him as well. You want to make sure you guys are on the same page but given that you have said you guys are trying/working it out suggests that. I'm not in a LDR but I think this is normal -- however, if it continues it may be a sign. And you'll be able to figure what that means.

I think its normal to have to ask questions because rarely are you guys together in person b/c of the distance -- but thats where the trust comes in and since he admitted he has trouble with that, how do you expect that he won't interogate/constantly question you about things?

So, Im no expert about LDR nor relationships in general but I am just going to give some advice just based on a 7 year relationship experience with my bf.

 

What does he mean by "different"? Is this justified as a good or bad thing? Is this the first time you guys have been intimate? Given that you've said that you felt up and down about the relationship -- does this suggest you may be having doubts? Maybe that is something you want to clarify your feelings about first. Especially with him as well. You want to make sure you guys are on the same page but given that you have said you guys are trying/working it out suggests that. I'm not in a LDR but I think this is normal -- however, if it continues it may be a sign. And you'll be able to figure what that means.

 

I think its normal to have to ask questions because rarely are you guys together in person b/c of the distance -- but thats where the trust comes in and since he admitted he has trouble with that, how do you expect that he won't interogate/constantly question you about things?

Thank you so much for your response and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! It was "different" as in us not connecting like we usually do emotionally (the physical act was good...but the emotional connection was different compared to previous times we we've been intimate). I think it was because we had be having more frequent arguments/midunderstandings during the 5 months of being apart. I felt up and down about our relationship as a result. He's very attentive and intuitive so he picked up on it during our intimacy. We had a looooooooooong talk and have been just spending time together/cuddling/kissing and stuff without sex for a couple of days now. We also don't need to have such a long time (5 months) without seeing one another again.

I was just wondering is the whole "reconnection" thing normal for a LDR?