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Thread: Journal for 2018

  1. #21
    Silver Member hidden_kitten's Avatar
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    Logged onto my dummy dating profile last night out of curiosity. I hate having these thoughts but dating at this age I've noticed I'm getting shallow about men that are aging faster than others - eg getting higher hairlines, losing hair etc. Then there's others on there who have gone in the other direction and have kept long 'rocker' hair. Just not my thing anymore, despite showing over 70% matches.

    There is one guy who's profile is still visible every time I log in and keep going back too. In the questionnare/match section we're in the 90s then in the enemy bit its single digit! Same age and lists that he's reserved/quiet. Self styled nerd into sci-fi etc. Thinking of messaging him then get cold feet!

  2. #22
    Silver Member hidden_kitten's Avatar
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    Wish my week off would come sooner. Day job and art centre want me to do extra for them both but soo lacking in motivation for anything.

    On a positive note I got some good feedback from the art centre. I train other volunteers on our ticketing software and one told my manager I was very patient and made it all seem very easy. Inside I feel the total opposite! Will need to hold onto that and build on it. Sometimes feel that all I do is d**k about in the computer during my shift and don't achieve much, but the other members seem to have faith in me. Worried about the paid role because I have soo many rookie questions I need to speak up about. Mission for next week!

  3. #23
    Silver Member hidden_kitten's Avatar
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    Snow is forecast tonight and during all hours tomorrow. It won't go far above freezing. friend wants me to go into town, haven't seen her for months aand I know she's been feeling rubbish recently too. Will see how bad things are in the morning.

    A customer at work yesterday said she thought I was about 20 - 21. She seemed a bit embarrassed when I told her I'm 30 and that I must get ID'd a lot. I thanked her and said I'll tell people I'm 20 instead! My demeanour comes across as naive/young as well I think.

    This week I won't have any alcohol. I enjoy beer at home, wine sometimes, but it's so easy to go for "just another one" and feel it the next day. I was always a lightweight. It's definitely not helping this cough or my energy levels.

  4. #24
    Silver Member hidden_kitten's Avatar
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    We got snow so didn't meet up. First snow of the year! Dithering on this festival application. I don't have current references and the form needs them listed up front. It's also more hours than expected so that would make juggling my work with the art centre tricky.

    Want to go to the doctor next week. Have a health issue that's flared up in the last week and my mind is going to dark places of what it could be.

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  6. #25
    Silver Member hidden_kitten's Avatar
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    Pain in breast has subsided for now. I hope it was just irritation of some kind.Will keep an eye on it and decide to have it looked at monday or tuesday. If I leave it any longer then it gets to the time of the month I start feeling cramp with periods so that might muck up things.

  7. #26
    Silver Member hidden_kitten's Avatar
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    Work schedule next week looks like almost 40 hours at retail job (about 35 hrs paid) and about 10 hours at the art centre. Work/life balance SUCKS and I was really trying to get a hold on it last year. I guess it's more to line the bank account right now then I have the following week off.

    Can hear an owl (owls?) outside. Find their calls calming. Think it's a tawny.

  8. #27
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    I love cows too!

    Good luck with you doctor appt. when I used to menstruated, I would get cyclical lumps I
    In My breasts, making them very tender. I think that usually the dangerous breast lumps are painless and people find them on examination or in the shower.

    Well. Work can. Be a pain, but good to have a job to line the bank acct with, and you can always be on the lookout for other jobs you might prefer.

  9. #28
    Silver Member hidden_kitten's Avatar
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    Thanks Silver. Yes going to really try to look at it positively next week and just get through the shifts. The retail job is just so tedious right now and hours are awkward. I was only meant to be back at that place as a stopgap when I moved back in with parents, fear I've stayed too long and now I'm stuck.

    Posted this on another thread but parking it here so I remember!

    2018 resolutions:
    Eat healthier (less alcohol, try to cut fizzy altogether, less junk).
    Exercise more (never done a proper workout in my life).
    Like the OP, declutter/gut out my room of ***** so I can move out easily when the time comes.
    Go on at least one date (been single 3 years with very little attention and it's getting very old).
    Read more. Don't think I finished any books this year. Started about five though!
    Draw more. The only accomplishment of 2017 I'm proud of was filling a sketchbook. Next year I want to start (and complete) something substantial. And maybe sell it!

  10. #29
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    Wasn't completely alcohol free this week, drat. One night stayed up late drawing so had a couple of tins of beer, felt horrendous the next day. Just cements that I need to take a clean break for a while.

    More snow flurries today. Pretty cold too, wanted to go for a walk after my shift but wasn't dressed warm enough so walked straight home. Hadn't slept much again so napped before dinner.

    Hopefully it'll get warmer (relatively) during the week and the snow washes away. Wonder when our next lot will be, usually we get another blast from the arctic by March.

  11. #30
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    Ahh we have been in a heatwave here Kitten. Saturday and Sunday were both 42 degrees Celsius. Today it was 37 and everybody was happy about that. Got a little rain. I had an idyllic biddy job in retail for a few months which finished very recently - business has been so slow.

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