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Thread: Journal for 2018

  1. #11
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    Argh stupid engaged guy is still in my head!! This is part of the reason I haven't put myself out there. Things become all-consuming. Get out get out get out.

  2. #12
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    Felt much better after resting yesterday so did my full shift today. Now two days off, hope I can get some decluttering done. Don't know if I'll last until the bells tonight.

    Happy Hogmanay!

  3. #13
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    Watched the hogmanay coverage on tv with parents last night. It's kind of a tradition where we sit there and slag the bands off and everyone who's outside in the cold. We agreed that the Edinburgh fireworks looked particularly impressive this year though. Not that I can remember what they were like last year, or the two years I was there in person. A firework is a firework!

    Went out briefly to the supermarket to get some air. Black cat a few doors down jumped up to greet me. Didn't stop to pet it because the owners could see me through the window and I'd look like a crazy person who wants to steal their pet. I miss cats though. They definitely seemed to absorb tension from you, purring away and you realise you couldn't feel mad anymore, now there's nowhere for it to go.

    Watching too many Conan O'Brien clips online. Wish full shows would air in the UK. I don't watch a lot of tv, but would tune into his if I knew it was on. Debating whether to start Silicon Valley because I need a new crush to offload all my frustrated fantasies onto, and somehow that ended up in the form of Zach Woods. Trouble is I see boxsets as such timesinks and feel guilty sitting down to watch anything. I still have Orphan Black and Suits dvds to get through.

    My friend suggested a couple of weeks ago going abroad for a month or so. I could take a career break from the retail job. Ended up on gap year websites. Backpacking etc seemed like my worst nightmare in high school so had no interest in it. More symptoms of my ongoing quarter life crisis!

  4. #14
    Silver Member hidden_kitten's Avatar
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    Friends from uni are meeting up in the city tomorrow. I'm working and by the time I finish it'll be too late to head up and see them, drat. Wish I had close friends in this town I could call on to go to the pub with and just vent with. That's definitely what I'm needing right now and really miss it. Terrified this is what my thirties will be like if I don't meet someone to date. Not what I anticipated at all.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by hidden_kitten
    Friends from uni are meeting up in the city tomorrow. I'm working and by the time I finish it'll be too late to head up and see them, drat. Wish I had close friends in this town I could call on to go to the pub with and just vent with. That's definitely what I'm needing right now and really miss it. Terrified this is what my thirties will be like if I don't meet someone to date. Not what I anticipated at all.
    Have you tried online dating? Meeting someone from a town close to yours...?
    Last edited by dias; 01-04-2018 at 04:04 PM.

  7. #16
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    Not yet Dias. It's another thing on my mile long to-do list. It seems a lot of work up-front so have been putting it off. I don't have good current photos of myself and need a thicker skin to steel myself against the weirdos. I have a dummy OKC profile, no pics and a one-sentence profile, so I could go on and just browse. I came across two exes on there. One had photos that I took of him a decade ago, ha ha ha. There's a reason why we're all on there, ugh. Sorry, seem to be throwing every advice back at you!

  8. #17
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    Noticed last night one of the big edinburgh festivals has started advertising paid internships. Completely forgot they start listing them in jan/feb. Just typical timing. On first look it's part time then I assume full time during the festival. Couldn't hurt to get an application in, def need more practice at that.

  9. #18
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    Feet hurt today during and after my shift. Need to find better shoes for standing in one place. Ideally I'd find a plain pair of trainers but somehow I'm always the one that gets hauled up for carp like that.

    Neither here nor there, the "will I/should I have kids" dilemma has been playing on my mind. The primary trigger is my nephew is due in a couple of short months, and there's a definite ovarian twitch whenever an extra cute kid is in the shop. It's just assumed that's the route you'll go down but I'm not sure if it's a dream I shouldbe chasing anymore. It's like a parallel trajectory that everyone else is on but I've never been able to get on it. Of it's all hypothetical right now with being extremely single and skint!

  10. #19
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    Walked to work in -6C this morning. Will be a similar story tomorrow I bet. Car takes too long to deice for just a three minute drive so wrap up and walk.

    Today's shift was a farce. I HAVE to leave this place this year. Not getting anything out of it anymore. It's going to take everything to find motivation to actually do it. Been sucked dry of energy from this cough bug. Pretty came home and slept this afternoon. Early shift tomorrow then have afternoon and Tuesday to myself.

  11. #20
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    Drew my first drawing of the year in a small sketchbook that handles ink easily. I started it late so didn't finish until 2am. Need to work out a better routine with fitting in some sketching. My room is awful for getting anything done, I couldn't even put my hand on the brushes I wanted. I should really ban any drawing until I get off my arse and organise this place!

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