Just moved and feeling blue

Hi ENA..

I feel abnormal. I just moved into the house I bought and worked on for the last entire year (february 2017 till now) - and I don't feel happy at all. In fact, I'm feeling blue.

It's the midst of winter, no ray of sunlight in the near area, my garden still looks like a puddle of mud, I live next to a busy traffic road,..

The house however is fine. It's new, it's big, i just painted and refurnished the whole place. It's beautiful.

What is wrong with me for not feeling over the moon happy about this?

I had to leave my parents house because the environment was very toxic, I have a terrible bond with my mother who has narcissistic personality disorder. And so I finally did but instead of relief I feel lonely, insecure, scared, and very un-safe.

Anyone been through this before?

L.

Well, you don't say what your life is like besides having a new shelter. Is your work fulfilling? Do you have a support system of friends? If not, I'd probably start a new hobby you can get passionate about and meet people who share that passion. If you have friends, how about a housewarming party to add some cheery life inside your new home? And even though your mother is blood, consider if you should sever ties with her, and if not, read some relationship boundary books so you can put some rules in place to improve that situation.

Could be SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder. That's when your body needs sunlight to make vitamin D and stimulate your pituitary gland to create growth hormone but it's not getting any because it's winter and it's cloudy. There are special sunlight lamps you can buy for about $50 at Bed & Bath to perk you up. I don't know if these cheap ones work, but it certainly won't hurt to fill your room with light. It also helps to have friends and a significant other around. Also it's the holiday season and people feel depressed because they see people being happy and they're not. (I can tell you not everyone is happy out there.) Also, you're a little depressed because you've finished off the house and there's nothing more to do!

So other than the lamp, you should get out and walk around and enjoy the Christmas decorations. If you want, you can buy a bunch of candy canes and hand them out as you walk around. (My wife and I do this at Halloween and hand candy out to children. Lots of fun!) You might meet your neighbors and make new friends. Take advantage of any sunny day to get as much sun as you can. I hope you have a good Christmas.

Change is stressful...good or bad. Eventually spring will come again and after inviting people over more regularly you will feel more comfortable.

There is nothing wrong with you. You have made a big change. Congratulate yourself for separating yourself from toxic relationships. Although it was toxic it was what you were use to so you are going to feel unsafe, insecure, lonely and scared while adjusting to the change. Also, winter doesn't help. I don't like it much myself. I miss the sunshine. Is there anything else such as a new project that you can start to help you pass time? Friends that are not toxic? Music? Has this been ongoing or do you think its due to the holidays. It will pass.