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Thread: Finding me...

  1. #11
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    NSFW=NSFAFM (for a first meet).

    Wow- learn something new everyday. I'm really glad you're continuing to do this and good bullet dodging with the google search scary guy.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    NSFW=NSFAFM (for a first meet).

    Wow- learn something new everyday. I'm really glad you're continuing to do this and good bullet dodging with the google search scary guy.
    I know! The app with scary guy is one that shall remain nameless. It doesn't have the best reputation, but I thought I'd give it a try. Friends were using it, so I thought it couldn't be that bad. Well, it was. So I deleted the app in general.

    Looking forward to the meets this week though. Should be interesting. I think I have four scheduled now, but I might try and push two into the following week. Four in one week is too much for me.

  3. #13
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    Itís been a while since Iíve posted on here, but as of today, thought it would be helpful to journal my time on my journey to get back in shape, too - not just my dating experiences (which Iím not investing as much time in these days).

    As of today, Iím going to try intermittent fasting. Will see how it goes. My goal is to lose 10 pounds.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Good luck. We'll hold you to it ;)

  5.  

  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    Good luck. We'll hold you to it ;)
    Good! :) I kinda need that. Helps me stay in line. I really want to achieve this goal.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by milly007
    Good! :) I kinda need that. Helps me stay in line. I really want to achieve this goal.
    Good luck however you reach your goal! You can do this! My niece just lost 14 pounds (baby weight) and is so so thrilled. She is doing one of those MLM programs which wouldn't be my choice but she is over the moon with how she looks and feels.

  8. #17
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Good luck however you reach your goal! You can do this! My niece just lost 14 pounds (baby weight) and is so so thrilled. She is doing one of those MLM programs which wouldn't be my choice but she is over the moon with how she looks and feels.
    Thank you.

  9. #18
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    So, dating hasn't really been much of a priority these days due to other things happening in my life at the moment. I have met a fair amount of guys since my last dating related post on here, but just haven't thought about or felt the need to document it, I guess.

    Well, about two weeks ago I began chatting with one guy online. After exchanging a few emails, we exchange numbers and he texts me.

    His messages or the way he expresses himself comes across to me as though he's quite serious. He doesn't joke, use emojis, or respond to any of my jokes in a lighthearted way like most other guys do, so I wasn't really feeling confident in the way we were communicating. I was questioning whether he had a sense of humour, as I've never texted with someone like this before. I did, eventually, learn that he was somewhat shy - a slow to warm-up type, which I completely get.

    After exchanging a few texts, he asked me last week (Monday) if I wanted to meet face-to-face. We decided that we were going to meet after he was done work on Thursday and that he would come to my end of the city for drinks. He told me to have a great day, and I reciprocated.

    Thursday rolls around and nothing. No message, no call...dead silence. I wasn't quite feeling any sort of connection, so I wasn't really all that disappointed. All of a sudden he messages me today, "Hi Milly, it's Ben. We haven't met yet? How was your weekend?". At this point, I'm thinking, "huh?", and after thinking about how I felt and what I wanted to say I said something along the lines of (I have since deleted the text messages), "Well we were supposed to meet last Thursday as discussed which didn't happen and I'm not sure why, so I just let it go". He responds, "Can I call you tonight?". I'm thinking, "I'm not really feeling this, but should I give it and him a chance?". I didn't want to respond too quickly without having more time to think about it.

    I ended up falling asleep and when I wake-up, he's texted again saying, "Is that cool? I'd like to speak with you briefly". I was about to head out and therefore couldn't speak on the phone, but I didn't really want to either. I said, "I can't speak tonight as I'm heading out to meet a friend for dinner". And then I said, "I'm not quite sure how to say this, but I don't think we're a match. You seem like a nice guy though and I hope you find what you're looking for. :) ". I honestly didn't know if I was dealing with a flake after what happened, and didn't want to waste my time . He writes back immediately and says, "How can you even know whether or not we're compatible if we haven't met. Clearly it's another issue. Wow, good luck". After some thought, because I felt bad and wanted to make sure he understood, I said, "But Ben, we were supposed to meet last Thursday, and that didn't happen, so I was surprised to hear from you today. I don't want to waste my time or anyone else's. Am I missing something here? Because I'm finding this situation a bit confusing".

    I didn't hear anything in response, and I doubt I will. I just don't want to waste my time with guys who don't follow through, when there are men out there who do. I know I need someone more assertive and I need that witty banter which I wasn't getting AT ALL from him. It was like he didn't have any sort of sense of humour. However, it's not to say I didn't think he had a real sweet side, though - because it seemed like he did. Maybe I did make the wrong decision. I don't know. Maybe I should have given him a chance and spoke with him, at the very least, on the phone. I just really didn't like how we agreed we would meet up last Thursday (his idea) in my area of the city and he didn't bother to follow through. It made me lose interest.

    Any thoughts?

    I guess I was also surprised at this reaction to me saying that I didn't think we were a match. I mean, could he really be that surprised? I swear, sometimes when it comes to dating I wonder if I'm in the twilight zone and if my standards are too high. Ok, so I expected a follow through after we actually said we would meet after work on Thursday, is that so bad? If someone can't make it, that's fine, but just send a message and let me know either way.

    I mean, I had to say something because he texted twice. I couldnít just say, Ďcanít talkí and leave it it open for further discussion.

    Kinda wishing I spoke with him now though (just a little bit). May have turned out differently.
    Last edited by milly007; 08-21-2018 at 01:13 AM.

  10. #19
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    I had a number of experiences like that (I kept a list as I often talked with men with the same first name so I kept track and never messed up) - where the guy would promise to call on a certain day to confirm a plan, flake, or make a plan and flake at the last minute, etc. I just brushed it off like an annoying fly. The only difference was by that time we'd exchanged two emails and had one or two phone calls. With very few exceptions I never had more contact than that before meeting and met over 100 men in person. One guy was surprised because he promised to call me on a Wednesday to make a plan. He emailed a few days later, no apology or excuse. He thought since he was a successful physician I would of course let that go. Nope. My goal was marriage. I needed someone reliable, especially as a first impression. I just spent less time on people like that than you did with this guy. Those are my thoughts. Sometimes I said nothing because why lecture a stranger on how to behave in a common sense way -did he miss that day in kindergarten when basic manners were taught? Sometimes based on the interaction I had to say something especially to men who contacted me a long time later after we'd met and forgot we'd ever met lol.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member IAmFCA's Avatar
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    Meh. Just as well you didn't waste your voice. "How can you tell..." reflected a knee jerk reaction that is basically whiny and dismissive. Rather than challenge your authority over yourself, he would have been better off had he said Thank you for letting me know, or, I understand and respect your conclusion. However, if you'd like to meet in person, let me know? (Because he obvi was confused). To which you would have replied as you did, he would have apologized profusely, and you may have agreed to try again.

    His reply was without grace and without transparency. He was a player who got caught playin. He lacked sincerity and felt as if he got caught, which is why he went quiet. We all make mistakes with our calendars sometimes, he was human, he could have recovered. His judgment of himself tells you what you need to know. You dodged a bullet.

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