should i be the other woman??

we were in 3 years relationship before we got engaged... few months later i broke up with him..it was a long distance relationship and we werent able to find a way in the middle. i got directly after it into a relationship... he kept trying to get me back and begging me... later on i found out he was in a relationship too all this time 9 months later he gets engaged again to her..yet he is still trying to get me back

now when i finally agreed to do so, he is asking me to wait to see if i can move back to where he is, otherwise he does not want to lose her too and that it was my fault from the begininng i should have stuck around when he was beggining me to.

should i wait? ok he was beggining me to go back but he did not waste anytime of his own too...he got engaged in less than 10 months. should i just move on?i am lost.

Sounds like there is no plan to repair the issues that caused the 1rst break up.

Sounds like he is more concerned with not being alone than creating something with you. And it's not just this fact that's concerning, it's the underlying belief structure.

Sounds like a very painful disaster in the making.

he admits it... that now he is concerned about himself and he is trying to save his heart from me so we should both study our options. He said when he had a plan i blew him off, so now we just need to wait because he doesnt want to lose what he has over something uncertain that i should be blamed for.

He's not really trying to get you back if he hasn't broken up with her, OP.

Yes, you really need to move on. He's playing both you and his fiancee for fools.

It's usually a guy that proposes. A lot of people don't do it for years. Nobody forced him to do so.

If he loved you, or really hoped to have a future with you, he maybe would date other people, but wouldn't engage with them. Proposing to someone means at the time of proposing he was excited to have a future with someone else that isn't you.

It's also quite bad of him to propose to someone and then say they're his second choice. Really, nobody asked him to propose. Being cruel to his fiancee didn't even safe him any discomfort, he just doesn't think of other people and their needs.

You won't get him but he's no price. You won't build a happy ever after with him, but you'll be happier building your life with someone else anyway.

If he really cared about you, he would be done with her. Period.

Do you really want to be someone's side piece?

Honestly, what did you expect hime to do? You shattered his heart and dumped him on the curb like trash. He begged, pleaded, and tried to make it work, but instead you insisted that you no longer wanted him. So what happens?He finds a woman, falls in-love (apparently), gets engaged, and now you want him back? Why did it take you 9 months to realize that you "now" wanted to be with him? Are you just upset that he "actually" moved on?

I don't agree with the rest of what people are stating. He is definitely no playing both of you. First, I would assume he's guarding his heart from you shattering it again. Secondly, what about his feelings? Of course he's uncertain about you permanently staying in his life. The man got down on his knee and proposed to you just for you to abandon him. You know how the saying goes, "you reap what you sow," "every dog has its day," and "everything flips around."

If I were you I would just leave him live his life. I mean, that what you wanted him to do in the first place, right? Next time, I would suggest you not leave someone that you will eventually regret leaving. I feel your pain because I've been there. And I don't mean to be so brutal, but if my ex came back to me while dumping me, and I was happy with another woman, I'd be confused too! And I certainly wouldn't drop the person I had just to run back to a dumper.

If you really love him, then prove it to him. Assure him that you won't do it again and that your stay will be permanent. Otherwise, you need to move on, just like he did. Whatever the outcome is... I hope it works out for the two of you.

Nope. He is ENGAGED. He has a fiancee. You need to cut all contact!! He is juggling two women with at least ONe of you with full knowledge he is doing so. He is not the only man on the planet. And let's say you got him back and he broke his engagement -- he would never be faithful. Please move on

Honestly, what did you expect hime to do? You shattered his heart and dumped him on the curb like trash. He begged, pleaded, and tried to make it work, .

Oh boy --

Do not feel guilty -- it takes two people to break a relationship and it wasn't 100% you why it broke up - it was half him and half you for not being able to make the distance work and not be able to get your lives going in the same direction. You owe him nothing! Zero. The best you do is move on and find the guy who is a true match for you

He's showing you his capacity for disloyalty toward a woman who he's claimed to love enough to marry. So how would you ever view him as trustworthy?

Head high.

Thank you all..u really have opemed up my eyes i will defintely move on hopefully he will stay faithful to her from now o