Getting over my EX now that she's dating my friend

*If you could take the time to read all the context it will be so appreciated*

So me and my EX split up over a month ago. We was together for around a year and a half. Was an amazing relationship and she was also my first ever love I opened up to this girl and she did the same with me. It was one of those relationships where we was best friends and everything was just going great and she was happy. Towards the end of our relationship thins just weren't working out and we both became unhappy and never actually did anything to make these things right.

Anyway, she doesn't really have any boy friends because she's just a girly girly but she did occasionally get on with the one guy lets call him A. Anyway throughout our relationship she never saw anything in A, and we would go to college and she would see him and go to parties etc but there was never an inclination that she ever liked him whilst we were together. Anyway, when we broke up all of her friends were saying that the best way to get over me was to "get under someone else" as in start dating someone else. We'd only been split up a few weeks. What I can't understand is that multiple of her friends have done this when they ended it with there ex and she would always persistently say to me, I would never do that to you because It's so wrong and I care about you too much.

Anyway she's basically started dating this guy and as I'm still healing It's so hard to get over it. I see them everyday in college together acting like nothing happened. I know my ex really loved me but I can't see how she's acting like I was never in her life and that she's ready to just jump the gun. She also tried to text me saying she doesn't hate me but that she's told everyone she hates me alot but that she's in love with this new guy after only three weeks!

I know it's easier said that done because once you split up with your ex you never really have to see them again but I have to put up with her and this guy on a daily basis. I don't want her back I want to clarify that. I just feel as if though everything's hard for me at the minute but she's finding everything easy and she's extremely happy. She keeps claiming It's the happiest she's ever been which in way she's trying to say being with me was the worst shes ever been but throughout our honey moon period of our relationship was the exact same as what she's having now.

The guy is the complete opposite to me in every way. I can't help to think if she's trying to get into some sort of rebound relationship or whether she's needing the comfort for the pain she's going through to distract her from getting over it by being with somebody else. All of her friends are jumping on the band wagon like "you guys are so cute" and "you look great together" and it's just annoying to hear because this is my first every breakup. I don't know how to deal with things and it breaks my heart to see somebody i was with happy with somebody else whilst I'm here upset and hurting.

Any advice at all would be appreciated. Just be straight up, thankyou.

She sounds very young. How old are you both?

Also, what were the issues toward the end of the relationship that led to the break-up?

Why on earth are you staying in contact with an ex? This prevents closure. One day you will have a new gf and she won't accept you staying in contact with an ex. It's time to move on. Tell her, for your own good, to delete your number. You can't help but seeing her and her new love on campus, but with time, that shock will eventually fade.

What she does, and with whom, is no longer your business. Stay out of it and concentrate on yourself.

She sounds very young. How old are you both?

 

Also, what were the issues toward the end of the relationship that led to the break-up?

We're both only 18.

We both just became unhappy towards the end of the relationship so she decided to start texting her old ex etc.

We're both only 18.

 

We both just became unhappy towards the end of the relationship so she decided to start texting her old ex etc.

About what, specifically?

A big part of the problem is that she is still very immature. That will hopefully change as she gets older and gains more life experience. Right now, she's all about herself and her own needs and wants. She doesn't think about how her actions affect other people, which is how she seems to have moved on quickly, with a friend of yours no less. This isn't a girl who's thinking about anything or anyone outside her own bubble.

It hurts now, and I understand why. Stay as far away from her as possible and let her be this other guy's problem now.

About what, specifically?

 

A big part of the problem is that she is still very immature. That will hopefully change as she gets older and gains more life experience. Right now, she's all about herself and her own needs and wants. She doesn't think about how her actions affect other people, which is how she seems to have moved on quickly, with a friend of yours no less. This isn't a girl who's thinking about anything or anyone outside her own bubble.

 

It hurts now, and I understand why. Stay as far away from her as possible and let her be this other guy's problem now.

It's funny though because she always say I was so immature and would do things to really piss her off.

Sooner or later that bubble is just gonna pop and I genuinely hope she feels what I've felt.

You two split up and she is with another guy..I have to ask.. So what?

Are you looking for some kind of validation? Like what you two had was real? That she did care for you? You wanted to ask "how could you move on so quickly?" My answer to those questions are.. So what!

Look, you two went out, dated, had fun, made some good memories but it ended. The reason why it ended doesn't matter anymore. You two were on different paths and it just didn't work out. There doesn't have to be blame or fault or even a valid reason. She didn't want to be with you anymore and is now with someone else.

That is the current situation and that's the one you should embrace. That's the one you should accept. You must rid yourself of the Wants, Needs and Fears and just let the relationship go. Notice I said the relationship and not her. You are young and you will learn in life that if you can learn to let go of the Wants, Needs and Fears that you will be alright. This girl wasn't the one for you and Ill be honest, you are going to date a lot of girls. She is not the only one out there.

Keep your chin up, don't worry about getting the answers you want and don't worry about the validation you feel you should get. Let the relationship go.

You two split up and she is with another guy..I have to ask.. So what?

Are you looking for some kind of validation? Like what you two had was real? That she did care for you? You wanted to ask "how could you move on so quickly?" My answer to those questions are.. So what!

 

Look, you two went out, dated, had fun, made some good memories but it ended. The reason why it ended doesn't matter anymore. You two were on different paths and it just didn't work out. There doesn't have to be blame or fault or even a valid reason. She didn't want to be with you anymore and is now with someone else.

 

That is the current situation and that's the one you should embrace. That's the one you should accept. You must rid yourself of the Wants, Needs and Fears and just let the relationship go. Notice I said the relationship and not her. You are young and you will learn in life that if you can learn to let go of the Wants, Needs and Fears that you will be alright. This girl wasn't the one for you and Ill be honest, you are going to date a lot of girls. She is not the only one out there.

 

Keep your chin up, don't worry about getting the answers you want and don't worry about the validation you feel you should get. Let the relationship go.

WHAT????????

Did you copy paste that?, are you putting yourself in his shoes for at least a second?.

Yeah you are stating the obvious but couldn’t you be at least comforting in ones sad state?

WHAT????????

Did you copy paste that?, are you putting yourself in his shoes for at least a second?.

Yeah you are stating the obvious but couldn’t you be at least comforting in ones sad state?

He is 18. There are going to be A LOT of women going in and out of his life. This girl is not out there trying to find herself, she is not out there searching for a life, she moved on to another guy. She is not coming back. I did say they made a lott of good memories. And the last year and half made him a better person, she is a better person for it, but the relationship ended. There is no reason to hang on to the what could of been or the talk of a future because he will have that talk on the next girl he meets.

Its dating....Break ups suck. There is no easy way around them. He has to accept the now which is, he is single, she is with another guy and their paths are not together. It sucks, it hurts, its painful, I know that. Been thru it way too many times myself. But the sooner one accepts it was her decision, he can move on.

You two split up and she is with another guy..I have to ask.. So what?

Are you looking for some kind of validation? Like what you two had was real? That she did care for you? You wanted to ask "how could you move on so quickly?" My answer to those questions are.. So what!

 

Look, you two went out, dated, had fun, made some good memories but it ended. The reason why it ended doesn't matter anymore. You two were on different paths and it just didn't work out. There doesn't have to be blame or fault or even a valid reason. She didn't want to be with you anymore and is now with someone else.

 

That is the current situation and that's the one you should embrace. That's the one you should accept. You must rid yourself of the Wants, Needs and Fears and just let the relationship go. Notice I said the relationship and not her. You are young and you will learn in life that if you can learn to let go of the Wants, Needs and Fears that you will be alright. This girl wasn't the one for you and Ill be honest, you are going to date a lot of girls. She is not the only one out there.

 

Keep your chin up, don't worry about getting the answers you want and don't worry about the validation you feel you should get. Let the relationship go.

She was his first love. Have some empathy?

She was his first love. Have some empathy?

Don't worry about this. If anything it's the best advice I've received since the split. Yes it sounds cold but it's so true.

I do need to rid myself from the needs and fears or what could've / is going to happen. Things happen for a reason and I'm slowly starting to heal. Just hard seeing them together both having a ball.