Family forcing me to choose between them and my boyfriend!

Hiya! I'm going to try and make all this as condense as possible so, deep breath, here goes...

Back in August I went out out with a friend. To cut a long story short i ended up walking for the last train by myself and I got mugged, or I would of, but right when I'm handing everything over to this guy, completely terrified, this second guy appears, i thought he was an accompanist to start with but he wasn't, he and the original guy had a bit of a scuffle and the other guy ran off!

I was in a real state, and he was just awkwardly comforting me. Eventually i noticed his arm was bleeding pretty bad, caught by the first guys knife. I wanted to take him to a&e, he refused heavily (turns out he didn't have an address because he was homeless, and he was amendment he wouldn't go to hospital so i took him back to mine - least I could do, i thought). I bandaged his arm as best i could, let him have a hot shower and made him some food, yada yada, i think in a way looking after him calmed me down.

His back story: He used to race go karts as a kid, was a bit of a prodigy till his mum died when he was 14, his dad was in jail, he went into care, then got involved with the wrong people, got involved in stealing cars for order, decided he wanted to raise himself out of that, that he 'didn't want to be his fathers son', went into the army, loved it, served 4 years, got medically discharged a year ago, couldn't get another job, went couch to couch for a bit, and then ended up on the streets. Although he actually camped out in the country and came into the city to busk each day.

Anyway, he was handsome and I had been drinking and my emotions were all over the shop - I invited him to spend the night, he was hesitant at first but not for long, and we slept together. He cooked in the morning and after that we went our separate ways. It wasn't my most mature of moments but it wasn't a massive regret for me or anything, he was hot, the whole thing was mutual, it was just a one night thing!

Only, i thought about him a lot, for some reason I just couldnt get the guy out of my head.

Three weeks later I was in town (a different town that's how big a coincidence this is) and I walked past him busking on the street. He had a great voice. I sat down next to him on the street and we talked and talked for over two hours. His company was so so easy!

His love is cars and when I told him that id been quoted £550 to fix a rattling noise my car was he said hed come over and take a look! I was happy to pay him but he refused,finally accepting £50 on the condition I'd go to dinner with him... which i did! After that we just found excuse after excuse to hang out together, and now, we've been together about 4 months :love-struck:

So here's the major catch... my parents are quite 'posh', and not only that but they have a very specific idea about what kind of guy me or my sister date i.e. there's basically 6 careers that they would deem 'acceptable'. It's the most important thing to them - my mum couldn't understand me splitting with my ex when i found ceated on me (more than once), because he was on track to be a surgeon, so in her mind i should have stayed! I can still remember how upset my parents were about my sister dating a guy who was a teacher! They thought it wasn't a good enough career, and there was major drama!

I was not planning for them to find out about my new fella anytime soon but they found out, and ..they lost the plot!

Which kind of brings me up to now, they've been barely talking to me really, I've tried to maintain contact because i don't want to fall out with them, obviously they can be challenging but i'm sure that's true of all families and i love them! BUT i'm sick and tired of being scolded like a naughty child when i haven't done anything wrong! I'm sick of being lectured - so its all a big strained!

Its hard! I just don't really know how to handle it! I feel like they are forcing me to choose between them and him and i don't want it to be an either or!!! Plus they've basically now uninvited me for Christmas. :roll:

My sister, her fiancé and I always stay at my parents on Christmas Eve so we can spend the morning and then the day together. Obviously I want to see my boyfriend on Christmas but I wouldn’t be so stupid as to think we could play happy family’s, so I said to them that I’ll stay there on the 24th as normal, stay on the 25th for the whole morning and have dinner but then leave after to go home. Which is obviously so I can then see Luke!

And they flipped out!

Basically told me that if I’m going to do that then I might as well not bother coming at all for any of it!!! !!?

I just don't know what to say anymore!

Well... if you parents are so pushy for you to date the "right people"... why did you tell them about him? You've been seeing each other for four months. You are an adult. They don't need to know.

Personally? I wouldn't start that battle over someone I had been dating for a short period of time.

In the end they don't get a say in who you see. But if they are classicist jerks, and you know this about them, don't make a big deal about who your seeing until you know that it's worth the fight.

Well... if you parents are so pushy for you to date the "right people"... why did you tell them about him? You've been seeing each other for four months. You are an adult. They don't need to know.

 

Personally? I wouldn't start that battle over someone I had been dating for a short period of time.

 

In the end they don't get a say in who you see. But if they are classicist jerks, and you know this about them, don't make a big deal about who your seeing until you know that it's worth the fight.

I didn't!

I didn't mean for them to know! I was going to leave it much longer before telling them, and even then i didnt think they needed to know about past living situation, but it all got taken out of my hands...

My best friend (since i was 7) popped over to mine when he happened to be there not long after we had first met, the next day she was super excited and grilling me about him (because i'd been telling her for ages i was sworn off dating and had decided to live my life as a crazy cat lady lol).

I was dumb. I was still having reservations about the whole homeless thing myself. I made a mistake in thinking she was someone i could confide everything in! I didn't expect such a strong reaction, she thought i was bonkers.

Then she went behind my back and told my sister because she said she was worried, and my sister took her chance to one-up me in real style and went running straight to mum and dad! The first I knew of it was when i got a phone call from my irate mother!

I know it all comes back to me but I didnt mean for it to go like that! I didnt go looking for this drama!

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