frusturated- it has been a month since the BU and dating others sucks

So it has been a bit over a month since my ex broke up with me, I am heart broken

but forcing myself to move on.

I have installed a couple of dating apps which gave me supposedly "good results".

Been talking to 4 girls on the online apps, since my break up and went on 4 dates so far.

While talking online to them everything seemed awesome, but after going on dates with them

either they did not like me i guess, or we just did not click properly.

Either way I am really frustrated- I am a very decent looking guy have a good job and have every intention

to have a serious relationship. These 4 rejection+ my recent break up make me feel inadequate, like

there is something wrong with me, my self confidence is at the lowest (whereas usually my self confidence is high).

I am 32 years old and I am starting to irrationally believe that I will never find anybody else

and will stay single forever. Although I am sure that the break up ultimately was the right choice, i cant help

by missing my ex really badly- especially due to all of these failures with dates.

Sorry for the rant, I just came back from my 4'th date and feeling very down :)

Why do you believe that the only way, is through dating? Why don't you take some time to move on from your ex? I think it would be very selfish to date someone else, if you're not over your ex. Unless, you are telling these women that you are not over your ex and only looking for fun.

Aww, (((hugs)))) to you!

Hang in there. This breakup is recent, and you're forcing yourself to try and move forward.

Online dating is a real crapshoot. They can appear a good fit, but when you meet you find the

chemistry isn't there. It's okay. It's not that there's anything wrong with you.

I think you should not try to rush into replacing her. It will backfire on you because you are feeling

vulnerable and your confidence took a hit.

You need time. Hang out with friends and go to fun events where you can keep your mind off

her for a while and heal from the breakup. You miss your ex, but there's reasons why it ended.

Try to remind yourself why it didn't/ wouldn't work so that you don't stay stuck on her.

I've heard there's a great deal of women on dating sites that are looking to be taken care of,

so be careful who you deal with if you stay that route. Youll get through this.

Hang in there Blackey. It's been a month for me too, and as much as we'd love to fill that horrible void with a new partner, we need to heal first.

Going looking for love after being dumped whilst still attached to your ex is like trying to kick a football with a broken leg.

And maybe if you get lucky the Universe will bring someone along to help you along.

Let's focus on just getting through Xmas/NY first ok..? Then it's a brand new year*

Carus*

All that has been said is gold, you see you’re try to replace her very quickly and unfortunately it won’t be a smooth journey,

Unfortunately I wish we would be women sometimes, I believe their mind and processing is amazing, when a girl dumps we take a very big hit, true that men fall in love quite few times in their lives, when this is taken away, it’s a big ego and confidence burst. Been there 3 months ago, tried to meet as many girls as possible, even those I put away because of my ex, but it was terrible, during sex I was thinking about her , when they kissed me it was like I imagined my ex.

At that moment, I realized these feelings that are broken must be rebuilt not rapidly replaced.

Take the advise here, take things slowly , focus on work and your family and friends and with time believe me you will feel better, you will back here and you will remember how you felt today .

It only gets better !

and as much as we'd love to fill that horrible void with a new partner, we need to heal first.

And you are suffering from the void left over by your ex and you are trying to fill it with someone else. There is only one person you should be trying to fill it with and that is yourself.

You are not entirely you. You are the 'you' you were with her and that doesn't match with someone else. You need to step away from it, and to learn to be you again. This is not done by trying to find someone else. Heal from the break up, don't try to force yourself to move on, because that comes across on your dates.

The same happened to me. After I left my daughter's father years ago and was finally able to date again, I started going on dates and didn't meet anyone I was compatible with. I felt as if because I had been through so much with him, that whoever I meet next, they would be "the one" and everything would be easy. But unfortunately it doesn't happen like that. :-(

You need to be single, be by yourself, be with your friends, have fun. Then someone will come along when you least expect it. (Or so they say!)

It's still really soon. Maybe try waiting a few more months and you will probably have a different perspective and have healed a lot more. Then you will be able to appreciate new girls and be happy dating someone new.

So, I will throw in my few coins here:

I think Sweetgirl28 is very correct: I met my EX on Match.com (2.5 year long relationship), however it always felt as if I was taking care of her... Rescuing her and her kids.. I seriously think, that she never loved me... I think she only loved what I could do for her...

Anyways... We broke up for the second time about 4 months ago... And I have been in NC since.... My EX jumped back on Match.com within 3 weeks of dumping me and she is already almost 3 months into her new relationship...Poof, just like that, as if I never existed...As if I never even mattered...

So, finally I decided to date... I signed on to Zoosk and it is a nightmare... It's like as if I am forcing myself, yet I think about my EX and compare them to her... Yet it was so easy for her... Why is that? Why it was so easy for her to move on, and I am struggling? I am 43, not a bad looking guy, have my life in order... So, why is it so hard for me? And it was so quick for her?

So, I will throw in my few coins here:

 

I think Sweetgirl28 is very correct: I met my EX on Match.com (2.5 year long relationship), however it always felt as if I was taking care of her... Rescuing her and her kids.. I seriously think, that she never loved me... I think she only loved what I could do for her...

 

Anyways... We broke up for the second time about 4 months ago... And I have been in NC since.... My EX jumped back on Match.com within 3 weeks of dumping me and she is already almost 3 months into her new relationship...Poof, just like that, as if I never existed...As if I never even mattered...

 

So, finally I decided to date... I signed on to Zoosk and it is a nightmare... It's like as if I am forcing myself, yet I think about my EX and compare them to her... Yet it was so easy for her... Why is that? Why it was so easy for her to move on, and I am struggling? I am 43, not a bad looking guy, have my life in order... So, why is it so hard for me? And it was so quick for her?

Hi Mikey! It was easy for her because she can keep emotions out of it and just go with the first guy who

accepts her because she can't be alone. She needs to be taken care of. She let you take care of her

and her kids, when it didn't work, she left. She's selfish and only thinks of what she wants, not others.

I don't online date, but I recently went out with this guy and I liked him, but I felt something was off.

I found he is active on Tinder and called him out on it. Looking for girls 18-25. I know that's a hook up

site for sex mostly, so I ditched him. I think online there's all kinds of crazies, even though that's not

how we met, he's on there. My recent ex looking for sex now, ughhh. I so want to. I need to go bathe

in holy water to resist the temptation, lol. I think I'm gonna cave though. Ughhhhhhhhhhh.........!!!!

So, I will throw in my few coins here:

 

I think Sweetgirl28 is very correct: I met my EX on Match.com (2.5 year long relationship), however it always felt as if I was taking care of her... Rescuing her and her kids.. I seriously think, that she never loved me... I think she only loved what I could do for her...

 

Anyways... We broke up for the second time about 4 months ago... And I have been in NC since.... My EX jumped back on Match.com within 3 weeks of dumping me and she is already almost 3 months into her new relationship...Poof, just like that, as if I never existed...As if I never even mattered...

 

So, finally I decided to date... I signed on to Zoosk and it is a nightmare... It's like as if I am forcing myself, yet I think about my EX and compare them to her... Yet it was so easy for her... Why is that? Why it was so easy for her to move on, and I am struggling? I am 43, not a bad looking guy, have my life in order... So, why is it so hard for me? And it was so quick for her?

It probably wasn't easy for her. But sometimes I think as women we can separate our head from our hearts when we know in our minds it wasn't meant to be. If my ex saw me on bumble now he would probably think the same thing. That I just ended it and moved on. He has no idea I've been crying everyday for a month! So don't assume it's easy. The fact that she can jump right into a relationship so quickly prob means this new guy is a rebound! Bc she's hurting....

Hi Mikey! It was easy for her because she can keep emotions out of it and just go with the first guy who

accepts her because she can't be alone. She needs to be taken care of. She let you take care of her

and her kids, when it didn't work, she left. She's selfish and only thinks of what she wants, not others.

 

I don't online date, but I recently went out with this guy and I liked him, but I felt something was off.

I found he is active on Tinder and called him out on it. Looking for girls 18-25. I know that's a hook up

site for sex mostly, so I ditched him. I think online there's all kinds of crazies, even though that's not

how we met, he's on there. My recent ex looking for sex now, ughhh. I so want to. I need to go bathe

in holy water to resist the temptation, lol. I think I'm gonna cave though. Ughhhhhhhhhhh.........!!!!

It's not JUST for Hookups. It is if that's what both parties want but I'm on there looking for more than that and know a few long term relationships that started on Tinder.