My Boyfriend of Four Years Cheated on Me!!

My boyfriend and I have been together since our Senior year in high school. After high school we both went to the same college together, he didn't do too well at that school so he transferred over to another one to restart his GPA. He's been at his new school for a year and a half now... Since he's been gone we have had more issues than usual with communication and seeing each other but we work through it. Last night he told me he cheated on me with another girl about a week ago and she gave him chlamydia.. I knew something was wrong because when he came back for winter break he didn't want to see to me and was kind of avoiding me. He said it was because he knew he recently had sex with someone and wanted to get tested before he seen me so he could tell me everything at once. HOWEVERRR we ended up seeing each other before his test results came back and before he told me he cheated on me... We had unprotected sex so now I am at risk of having an STD... He said they used a condom but the condom broke and he didn't stop.. He said he was sorry and there's no excuse for it... I am just so hurt and don't know what to do.. I would/do any and everything for him and he knows it.. i feel so betrayed and just lost for words. When he first told me I was crying so hard, and then stopped and was just silent for like a whole hour... IDK what to say or to do I've never been a situation like this and I am just hurt so badly... I want to forgive him because I know were young (were both 21) but its still not an excuse. I wish he would of used a condom with me, knowing he just had sex with someone else or at least told me before we did anything.. Im confused and need advice.

The advice is that high school romances don't last through college. Your relationship is past its expiration date and it's high time to end things, part ways and be free to enjoy college life, date, learn who you are as a young woman outside of being in a relationship.

Btw, being young is not an excuse for cheating. If he wanted to be with someone else, he was free. All he had to do is end things with you honestly and cleanly. Instead, he was a selfish coward. Think about it. He cheated on you, knew he probably got an STD from her, despite knowing that STILL had unprotected sex with you. What kind of a psycho does that???? You do not want this guy in your life. Trust me on that. He won't grow up. He will grow worse. If you stay with him after something so callous, you are basically giving him a green light and your blessing to carry on with whatever selfish impulses he wants. Don't do that to yourself because the next thing he gives you might have no cure. Also, how will you ever trust him again? Think on that. Next time he wants to have sex, how will you really feel about that given what happened? Will you wonder just what he might be sharing with you? Don't sign up for that kind of a living nightmare.

Last night he told me he cheated on me with another girl about a week ago and she gave him chlamydia..

Unless I'm missing something, how does one sleep with another person, make an appointment with a physician and obtain positive results of an "STD," all in a time period of one week?

In any event, it appears there are many missing links here.

I am so sorry, you are hurt... Sure, people cheat for number of reasons, during sex lots of stupid things might happen, and you can forgive the fact that he was cheating one you, BUT he was not just cheating on you, but deliberately put you on risk of having STD...

I can believe that he loves you still, can have sex with some girl, but putting your health in danger and still claims he loves you, I am not sure about that... I could never trust him ever again, not for the cheating, but for possibly giving you STD, how can you build something with someone like that?

Unless I'm missing something, how does one sleep with another person, make an appointment with a physician and obtain positive results of an "STD," all in a time period of one week?

 

In any event, it appears there are many missing links here.

You can get your results as soon as a couple of days, so it's not impossible to have them in a week.

Rather than worrying about him not using protection with you, shouldn't you be more concerned with protecting your health by not having sex with this guy anymore? He's clearly proven untrustworthy with your health at all, not to mention your relationship.

Like the previous person said, he can give you something incurable next time. Herpes, cancer from HPV, AIDS, etc you pick one. You may get it in the future as cheaters are statistically three times more likely to cheat again than one who hasn't. He seems pretty unremorseful, despite saying he is an idiot. He should be doing much more than basically acting like this was a slap on the wrist.

He had unprotected sex with you knowing he had an STD...after cheating on you? I am confused by the fact that you are confused.

I am really sorry this happened to you .

Can you please avoid using ablest words in your post though please. The R word that your boyfriend used to describe himself is an ablest word used against disabled people . That maybe before your time but was very common . It’s a pretty offensive word .

Sorry this happened to you. Agree. Seriously reconsider that many romances are not meant to last and this should be one of them. Cheating + STD = Dump him.

He had unprotected sex with you knowing he had an STD...after cheating on you? I am confused by the fact that you are confused.

You don't know if this is the first time. He is probably telling you, due to the STD.

End it with this guy. How can you possibly move forward with this douchebag, after he gave you an STD? Do you really value yourself so little. He does not care about you, or your health.

Have higher standards!

You need to get tested for everything!

I have a feeling this has been going on longer than he claims, OP, and he told you because he had no choice after contracting an STI.

Get yourself to a doctor immediately.

And dump him. It's over and you deserve so much more.

The advice is that high school romances don't last through college. Your relationship is past its expiration date and it's high time to end things, part ways and be free to enjoy college life, date, learn who you are as a young woman outside of being in a relationship.

 

Btw, being young is not an excuse for cheating. If he wanted to be with someone else, he was free. All he had to do is end things with you honestly and cleanly. Instead, he was a selfish coward. Think about it. He cheated on you, knew he probably got an STD from her, despite knowing that STILL had unprotected sex with you. What kind of a psycho does that???? You do not want this guy in your life. Trust me on that. He won't grow up. He will grow worse. If you stay with him after something so callous, you are basically giving him a green light and your blessing to carry on with whatever selfish impulses he wants. Don't do that to yourself because the next thing he gives you might have no cure. Also, how will you ever trust him again? Think on that. Next time he wants to have sex, how will you really feel about that given what happened? Will you wonder just what he might be sharing with you? Don't sign up for that kind of a living nightmare.

And this is also very, very true.

You need to move on from this for so many reasons, OP. Your boyfriend already has, and didn't have the cojones to tell you before it was too late.