will this make me unattractive

Hey there

I assume most know my background where my ex broke up with me twice, first time he cheated on me and second time he stole from me and made few defamation of character about me around the uni. I have been with him for 3 years but I am older than him (he is 20 and I am 24). When the second BU happened on July I felt very frustrated and rejected that instead of planning to continue studying my PhD (at that time I was doing MSc and he was still on his first year BSc.) I began planning to study what he is studying (paramedic). So I have applied for paramedic science course as I already have 4 other science related degree and vowed/visioned that I would become successful in that area to prove to him I am good enough. I am currently on my second Masters degree and contemplating whether to continue on toward PhD or start BSc in paramedic. Right now I feel more moved on even though nostolgic and reminising from time to time but I feel far better, now that i think of it I feel like if I did paramedic he will think I am being weird and disturbed. Obviously at this point I actually like the idea of becoming scientist and paramedic at the same time but I am not sure if it looks wrong to jump in a course that he does

is it weird, will this make me look unattractive even though i feel like i can be successful in it

Are you doing this because you want to, or because you want to impress him? If you are doing this for you, can you find an alternative time to take the course - a course time where he's not in?

As someone who cheated on you, stole from you and is verbally abusive, why would you care what he does or thinks? Follow your own career path.

From earning your PhD to becoming a paramedic...is such a downgrade...

Why on earth do you think this is a step forward in education/skills?? Not to trash on paramedics, but being a doctor is so much more prestigious and respectable.

Did he convince you being a paramedic is so glorious or something in order to put you down so he can be on this pedistal? Don't let anyone steer you wrong. You are clearly doing this because of his conviction and your need of approval from him.

To answer your question, yes "vowed/visioned that I would become successful in that area to prove to him I am good enough" - this is very unattractive and obvious you are still holding a torch for this awful boy.

You've got to focus on your career and not this guy who is no good. You might need to transfer to another school to get away from him. Don't become a paramedic just because he's a paramedic. You've got all these degrees, now it's time to figure out what you're doing and go for it.

If I met someone who went to the best culinary school but is a fry cook at Burger King, I would have to wonder why. Doesnt mean they are unattractive, but it would make me wonder.

I don't understand your thinking. The guy cheated and stole from you, and you are concerned as to what he is thinking?????

I don't get the paramedic and scientist bit. Why don't you stick with the Science, as it seems to be your passion, and the paramedic bit, is a downgrade.. Stop trying to impress someone who disrespected and hurt you. Good God!

I strongly suggest the school counselor,.

How many degrees do you need? OP, you've spent three years of your life involved with a manipulative, abusive psycho and it has really messed you up. Please use your Uni counseling services to help you get your head back on straight and help you finally move forward from that whole mess and find your self respect again. Also, please work with career counseling to get you on track for an actual career. There comes a point where you do have to actually be done with getting yet another degree, leave college life and start on the next stage - career. You can't keep being a student forever collecting more and more degrees.

How many degrees do you need? OP, you've spent three years of your life involved with a manipulative, abusive psycho and it has really messed you up. Please use your Uni counseling services to help you get your head back on straight and help you finally move forward from that whole mess and find your self respect again. Also, please work with career counseling to get you on track for an actual career. There comes a point where you do have to actually be done with getting yet another degree, leave college life and start on the next stage - career. You can't keep being a student forever collecting more and more degrees.

Fortunatliy we are not in the same university, I am in Cambridge uni doing my second MSc and he is in a small IT in the same city. but yes he did manupilate me in such a way that i have seen his course very presitigious

Fortunatliy we are not in the same university, I am in Cambridge uni doing my second MSc and he is in a small IT in the same city. but yes he did manupilate me in such a way that i have seen his course very presitigious

OK, think logically about this. He brainwashed you into thinking that Cambridge is less than some school of no account? Do you see why you need to leave him and delete him from your mind and your life forever? Please please get yourself some counseling to help with this. He did manipulate and brainwash you, no question there. However, abusers pick people who can be victimized, who are susceptible to manipulation. You need to make sure that you aren't susceptible to that kind stuff going forward. If you don't do that work on yourself, it's only a matter of time before you end up with another psycho manipulating you all over again.

I would stop worrying about what he thinks or does and worry about figuring out what you want to do with your career. Don't become a paramedic just because you think he would think you are good enough... you're already good enough as you are and it seems you already have a lot of education and I am sure you are a very smart person. So use your logic to realize you deserve better than him and move on fully.

Are you frickin kidding me!!! You are in Cambridge, and he is in some small, no nothing school, which you think is better!!!! Really!

Seek counseling. And, do not consider paramedics! Continue on your original path!