Chlamydia question

Hello all.

I have been very happily married for 12 years and my husband and I dated for 5 years prior to getting married. We were each others first for sexual intercourse. We both had other encounters with other partners prior to dating. However, nothing since. We have two children.

My question is this. I recently had a positive test at my doctor Chlamydia. To say I was shocked is quite the understatement.I thought I had a UTI, which is what brought me in. My doctor of course told me the only way to get this is from sexual contact. I called my husband immediately who denies any contact up and down and he immediately went in for a test himself (we haven't gotten those results back yet). I also asked for a re-test. I am besides myself. I have cried so much and just pleaded with him to tell me the truth if he has been unfaithful, I would rather just know, and would be willing to try to work through it.

I am not stupid so I know the likelihood of contracting this another way is rare. BUt I am pretty desperate for positive stories with this. I am praying his test comes back negative...of course then where does that put me because I know I haven't had ANY contact with ANYONE other than him since i was 16. And they tested me for it at each pregnancy as well.

Thanks for any feedback or advice. What a mess.

Unfortunately, you're just going to have to wait until after the tests come back. False positives do happen, but two false positives would be pretty exceptional to say the least.

You've been married to this man for 12 years and know him much better than any of us. It's up to you how much benefit of the doubt you're willing to extend him until you do get the results back. Wish there were an easier answer.

Ask him how he feels about taking a private polygraph test. After you confirm that it is a second positive, if it is.

OP, I really hope that you have gotten a false positive, because that does happen. Before you jump to conclusions, do wait on the result of the re-test.

If you do come back positive on retest........

As for getting chlamydia any other way, no there is no such thing. I am sorry. If you truly have it, you only got it from your husband and the only way he got that is through sexual contact outside your marriage.

Regarding him getting tested and coming back negative, OP, treatment for that is simple and short. If he was aware and got treated for it, he will come back negative. Which actually makes it that much more difficult for you because not only did he cheat, he knew he put you at risk of an STD and withheld that info from you as well. Also, STD's can be asymptomatic for a long time, so you really have no idea when you might have been infected. Basically any time between the last time you were tested and now. Basically, if he comes back negative, how it makes it look for you is that you seriously need to investigate your marriage and what and who your husband actually is. Sadly, you wouldn't be first wife to find out that your husband is hiding dirty secrets that you've been completely oblivious to. Don't expect him to confess either. You will need to do your own investigating in exactly what he has been doing and with who.

The test results are the only way to prove anything. And if yours comes back positive twice or his does at all, there is no denying he has cheated. I am sorry OP.

I think this case is 1+1=2. After the re-test you will have the answer.

Apparently you can get chlamydia from sharing sex toys. It is a bacteria after all. Any chance you've not washed your toys properly or used it/some on him?

There is a lot at stake and my guess is your husband is probably on his knees at this moment praying that his test comes back negative. Without concrete evidence to the contrary he'll ride this to the very end.

I am sorry this is happening to you.

I hope it's all a mistake.

I am sorry, OP. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now.

As the others have said, you need to wait for the test results to come back. Both your second test and his test. If they do come back positive, unfortunately he has a lot of explaining to do.

"We were each others first for sexual intercourse. We both had other encounters with other partners prior to dating" - This. You can still contract STDs from a person even though you didn't have sex. The key word is sexual contact. You both apparently had sexual contact back before dating, hence the possibility of you contracting it in the future. Chlamydia can be asymptomatic and still transferrable to another partner until treated.

It is likely your husband contracted it during one of these encounters, if you are sure you were tested for chlamydia during your pregnancy and it came back negative.

This is what pregnant women are tested for :

As a result, screening for STIs, such as human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), hepatitis B, chlamydia and syphilis, generally takes place at the first prenatal visit for all pregnant women. Gonorrhea and hepatitis C screening tests are recommended at least once during pregnancy for women at high risk of these infections. ( according to the Mayo Clinic)

I know I was shown the results for my STI panel when I was pregnant in 2007.

This is what pregnant women are tested for :

 

As a result, screening for STIs, such as human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), hepatitis B, chlamydia and syphilis, generally takes place at the first prenatal visit for all pregnant women. Gonorrhea and hepatitis C screening tests are recommended at least once during pregnancy for women at high risk of these infections. ( according to the Mayo Clinic)

 

I know I was shown the results for my STI panel when I was pregnant in 2007.

Thank you for the information! So yes, it is more likely your hubby passed it on to you, but doesn't necessarily indicate infidelity because chlamydia can be asymptomatic until treated. While it is possible he cheated, it is just as likely he contracted it during his previous sexual encounters (no sex) and laid dormant for a while, then passed it onto you when it went into an active phase at some point (there are different triggers for this, usually a depressed immune system from illness or something else).

I hope you don't continue to accuse your husband of infidelity. While STDs are scary, people tend to think it is indicative of infidelity, which is not always true. You can only know for sure it's due to infidelity either through complete abstinence of any kind of both partners previously, or routine testing (every 6 months to a year) of both partners. Otherwise, the dormant/active phases of certain STDs can be really tricky to determine when exactly a partner got the STD, unless you've never touched a person in your life in THAT way. Chlamydia can lay dormant for years, asymptomatically.

Hey everyone!!

So I wanted to make sure to update you all. In case this happens to anyone else.

Doctor called just now and both of us are negative for everything!!! It was a false positive and they had no good explanation.

Never trust one test. Always get a second opinion especially for something life changing. I’ve never been so relieved!!!

That's great!

(Thank goodness you didn't act rashly towards your husband)

Hey everyone!!

 

So I wanted to make sure to update you all. In case this happens to anyone else.

 

Doctor called just now and both of us are negative for everything!!! It was a false positive and they had no good explanation.

 

Never trust one test. Always get a second opinion especially for something life changing. I’ve never been so relieved!!!

Awesome!!! So glad all is well!

Very happy for you!

That’s great, now how are you going to fix accusing your husband of being unfaithful?

That was so wrong in so many ways. It would make one think it was due to a guilty conscience.

Just think if you came back positive, he would of had the right to accuse you right back. The proof would have been on his side.

That’s great, now how are you going to fix accusing your husband of being unfaithful?

 

That was so wrong in so many ways. It would make one think it was due to a guilty conscience.

 

Just think if you came back positive, he would of had the right to accuse you right back. The proof would have been on his side.

So what else should she have done with a positive test? The odds were higher he had cheated than the test was a false positive.

Are you sure about that.

I called my husband immediately who denies any contact up and down and he immediately went in for a test himself (we haven't gotten those results back yet). I also asked for a re-test. I am besides myself. I have cried so much and just pleaded with him to tell me the truth if he has been unfaithful, I would rather just know, and would be willing to try to work through it.

I would not call this rational behavior.

Are you sure about that.

 

I called my husband immediately who denies any contact up and down and he immediately went in for a test himself (we haven't gotten those results back yet). I also asked for a re-test. I am besides myself. I have cried so much and just pleaded with him to tell me the truth if he has been unfaithful, I would rather just know, and would be willing to try to work through it.

 

I would not call this rational behavior.

...

She asked him if he cheated. He got a test. She was upset in the meantime. What else do you expect?

So what else should she have done with a positive test? The odds were higher he had cheated than the test was a false positive.

Why is that?

Wait to see if it came back positive again. She falsely accused her husband of cheating. My wife did this three years ago. We still haven’t got things back together. If she thinks so little of her husband she deserves any and all the ramifications that come her way.

Why is that?

 

Wait to see if it came back positive again. She falsely accused her husband of cheating. My wife did this three years ago. We still haven’t got things back together. If she thinks so little of her husband she deserves any and all the ramifications that come her way.

Agree to disagree. I think what they both did was reasonable.

And no, I have never cheated on my wife. I have never texted or anything else with another female with out my wife being able to see it. She didn’t trust one of my daughters friends and showed it. She tried to explain her actions about a month later.

Agree to disagree. I think what they both did was reasonable.

So you think my wife accusing me was ok. Because she was jealous of a teenager. Even though a few months earlier she confessed about take myself and our marriage for granted for the past ten years.

Agree to disagree. I think what they both did was reasonable.

So sense my wife refused to do date night or weekend getaways or for that matter anything dealing with our relationship except sex. Did I have the right to accuse her of cheating. She never wanted to do anything as a couple.