My Husband has left me with 2 children and pregnant for someone else!!

Hey everyone ... I’ve never posted on here and I’m so embarrassed to write this and tbh so ashamed of myself 😔

My Husband left me a couple months back ... no real explanation, treated me so so disgusting, nothing added up, suddenly changed as a person and Ive been an absolute mess ever since. His literally broken me as a person.

He finally admitted to me a few days ago his been seeing a girl from work. I had my suspicions because nothing was adding up and I just had that gut feeling but ignored it because I thought I was being paranoid and he would never do this to me.... We have two children together, I’m nearly 7 months pregnant, have been together 9 years and married 18 months.

I actually don’t now how I’m gonna hold myself together and get through this. I feel like I’m literally gonna crumble at any minute and wanna just lose it!

It explains so much and everything finally makes sense but I’ve never felt this feeling before and it’s actually worrying me because I wanna be strong for my children and show him I don’t care ... which I have so far massively failed at!!!.... But I just feel empty and so so embarrassed, ashamed, lost.... everything!

He has no care, no feelings, his just changed so much in such a short period of time.... like a stranger to me and I’m struggling to let myself get my head around it! He made out it was all because of me that he left and literally made me hate myself and doubt everything about myself. To top it off I found out yesterday they are now officially a couple, this woman has met the family, knows I’m pregnant and is just happy to carry on... I just don’t understand how they are both able to do this likes it’s nothing & then make out it’s me in the wrong!! I’m just so so hurt and angry!!

Actually feel stupid for writing all this now... it’s something you read about in a magazine... how is this now my reality! We have been sleeping together since he left. I really thought if I slept with him it meant he wouldn’t be going else where and still had some feelings for me, was just having a weird midlife crisis really early in life but, I aways thought he would clear his head and wanna sort everything out! 💔

Has anyone been through anything like this? I would appreciate any advice at all! I don’t know what to do next! I don’t really have anyone to speak to about it as my life was just focused around him and my kids. I’m not from the town I live in and don’t know anyone... sorry I sound pathetic!! 😔😔

You don't sound pathetic and you have nothing to be ashamed about....HE DOES.

He left his pregnant wife and his children to go run around. Not only is that irresponsible but it's terrible. How he sleeps at night I will never know. Then on top of it, he tries to justify his behavior by blaming it on you!! What a total a$$!!!!!

You sound like a very strong woman and right now everything feels in turmoil but I promise you it won't stay this way forever. You are a mom first and foremost and your kids needs you. They don't need a deadbeat like this man.

I know it's difficult to feel strong right now but you can get through this.

Do you have any family around you right now? Can you seek out counselling or support within the community?

Please stop blaming yourself..that's exactly what he wants you do to so he can get off scott free. You are NOT to blame.

For whatever problems you might have had in the marriage, his responsibility was to his marriage and to his children and to do whatever it took to fix things. He didn't do that. He ran off with someone else.

That's a reflection on HIM..not you! He is not a decent man or a person. He is selfish.

All you can do now is take it day by day. Hour by hour if need be. But having support is good and it's good that you came here to talk your problems out.

I hope you will be able to find even more support within these forums and as well with family or friends or even within your community.

I'm so sorry, OP. What a horrible situation for you.

As Sherry says, do not blame yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of; he does. He is behaving like a teenager, not like a grown, married father of three. His high from this new relationship won't last long once the reality of divorce and family court slaps him in the face.

Please, try to seek counseling. You are in such distress and you don't want to inadvertently harm your unborn baby. A counselor can at least help you with some coping strategies when the pain becomes overwhelming. Next, you need to see a lawyer. Even in the off chance that you two work this out, you must know your rights as the children's mother. Get your ducks in a row, so that your husband can't shirk his parental responsibilities or take advantage of your vulnerable state.

Where is he staying now?

How horrible for you. I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Don’t feel silly. I posted on here last night (first time on any forum) you get desperate for advice and answers and feel like you can’t talk to anyone you know. There’s nothing anyone can say. He is a jerk!!!!! Just take each hour at a time and when that gets easier take each day as it comes. Focus on those beautiful children and cuddle them lots x

This is awful YOU have nothing to be ashamed of though!

Please stop sleeping with this man!

I am so sorry that your partner could do something so harmful to you and his children. He is an azzhole!

You need to seek a divorce attorney, and kick his azz out tif the house. Pronto! Can you move back to your family?

Stop sleeping with him!!!!

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Go to courthouse today and file for support and custody and separation. Do it now before he does.

Get a therapist ASAP. You need and deserve support through this.

One of the worst situations I think I've read... I'm so, so sorry rhiggy*

I echo what the others have said, especially about the counseling. You will need as much as you can afford right now!

Do you have at least one good friend there who you can ask to be your Breakup Wing? Friends get sick of hearing about our stuff the more it goes on but hopefully you can find that one that can help you through this.

Again, this is a brutal situation and is going to take some time to work through but you can do this. And we are here for you.

Along with this forum, here is at least one good tool l can give you for now ~

Carus*

ps i went through custody and divorce and abuse......the longer you wait to file, the more the court will take his side. go to the courthouse.

Even if you don't file for divorce just yet, see an attorney. Find out what your rights are. Don't tell him you are going. Don't take the kids unless they are not at the talking age so they can't innocently mention anything. Don't tell the kids where you are going and have a relative or someone watch them.

I agree with counseling.

Also, i hope that he has a military job because they take this sort of thing very seriously and he would be reprimanded.

I know its all his fault but what a tramp for agreeing to have a relationship with a man who has a pregnant wife.