What do I do?

Me and my partner have been dating for 4 years, I suffer from depression and anxiety which then also turned into post natal depression when our baby was born last year. My partners parent passed away last year too. So the last year has been a serious change to our life with highs and lows throughout it. Since last year he has been constantly telling me little white lies which he promised he'd stop doing. He is constantly breaking promises and says he will do things with us etc only to never follow through with them. He currently lives in a different town to myself and our baby due to a housing issue with his parents house and I moved back in with my parents for extra support with the baby to make it easier on my mental health. He keeps telling me that we will find a house in between both towns etc one minute then the next he's telling me he doesn't want to. I don't know where I stand and I'm constantly being let down by the promises he breaks, which has a massive affect on my depression and anxiety. I have huge trust issues now and I just don't believe anything he says anymore. He's promised that he will stop lying only to do it again, then he gets annoyed that I get cross about it and blames me for why he lies because I get cross when he finally admits it and tries to twist it on to me that it's my fault he lies. When the only reason I get cross is because he has lied first of all before telling the truth. I just don't know what to do, do I just let go and move on or do I give him another chance even though he's had so many. I'm terrified as I don't want to be a single parent and I worry how I'm going to now fit child care around working etc, I also don't want my little one not having a mum and dad together. That just wasn't what I planned when we had the baby. Sorry this is super long, I don't have anyone to talk to about it and I really need to get it off my chest and get some advice.

I think you might already be a single parent (but one with family support which is good thing). What if this guy never changes, do you really want to try and build a life with someone who doesn’t make you a priority and lies to your face? Smash the romantic notion of a mum and dad and free yourself from this situation that will only yield more unmet expectations. (Is all too easy to say and much much harder to do but it’s always much easier to see something flat out isn’t working when you are on the outside. I think if a friend was in your shoes you’d advise them to leave too).

If you aren’t ready to leave yet, have one more conversation with your partner where you are both calm where you ask what his ideal partnership looks like, and say what yours looks like (not being lied to, living together). And you see if your two ideals have enough overlap to make a sustainable relationship and if changes have to happen you both commit to making them. And then you set yourself a deadline. If he hasn’t made any changes by then you can leave knowing you tried your best.

If you breaking up would cause him not to support you in child care in any way, then he's already not a parent

I know how it hurts to be disappointed over and over and over, only to realize what you thought "we wanted" was something "you wanted" and he didn't clearly let you know that this won't happen. It makes post breakup time easier - when you remember how traumatized you felt for being let down another time, you don't regret being single.

If ultimatums should be ever made in a partnership, it's in situations like this.

Being a single parent wouldn't be worse than this, but I understand that you've had your share of big life changes for some time. So if you need to, take time, be gentle with yourself, and search for support whenever you can.

What does he lie about?