Dating a girl who has huge walls

When I first asked this girl out she told me she was in a relationship. She said something like “you are an amazing guy and we connect so well but if we are meant to be, it will happen.” so we remained friends and spoke about twice a month just enough to keep in touch. Her bf of 3 years ended up cheating on her in May and she’s still friends with him and they hangout at times, but she told me she’ll never date him again and has no feelings for him. Anyways.. in September she started asking me to come out with her and after 3 times of hanging out I started feeling like she really likes me. She’s went as far as telling me that she’s not hanging out with other guys. We’ve both said we’ve never had a connection like ours and both admitted that we find each other attractive. The problem is that I try to see her at least once a week but she’s constantly busy with something which is true because she works out of town and so I don’t necessarily believe she’s avoiding me on purpose. The problem is that she’s not “creating” enough time to further our relationship to something more. I feel like I’m trying a lot more than her.. she seems to not mind when we don’t talk for 1-3 days, or that we haven’t seen each other in over a month. For these reasons I haven’t even kissed her because so much time goes by between our dates that it always feels like a first date and I don’t kiss until I feel very comfortable.. anyways, I’m feeling bothered because when things like that happen I question how serious we are.. maybe I should just date others?? Once or twice a month seems like we aren’t even dating..

Hi OP those aren't walls she's building just conflicting schedules and no it's hardly enough to be dating.

Also her lack of interest because I believe you are never to be busy for the one you like.

I think you should keep her as a friend and pursue somebody with more time and interest.

Lisa

Move on. You should always look at one's actions. Sorry, but you are not important to her.

I agree with the other posters, you are not important enough to her. She does not see you in a dating light, more of a friendship light where she can just see and talk to you when she can be bothered.

Reduce your focus on her and move it to someone who is more deserving.

Don't always be there for her. You are making yourself too available

Walls are no fun. You deserve a relationship where you will be happy. If you are not happy because of these walls, just move on....Life is too short for these complications, at least that is what I feel...

If she wanted to be with you, she would.

It doesn't sound like you are dating, and far from a relationship. She's behaving like someone who is not the least bit interested. Talk is cheap. Move on.

I feel like this girl is the one. She doesn’t hangout with other men. I feel like I’m her #1 unless she’s hiding someone from me completely. I feel like she’s just not wanting anything right now but once she does she’ll choose me. I feel like if I go off and find someone else, it’ll upset her and maybe even make her feel like I’m cheating or something. Even though we don’t see each other that often, I feel like we have some sort of commitment. It’s awkward to bring up though. How would I even ask what we are without making me seem so lost lol

Ive been in ( and am extracting myself from) this situation when you feel you've found an amazing connection with " the one". Often time they know they hold the power in the relationship and enjoy the attention and power but dont necessarily have any intentions of taking it further.

If she is not making time for you.. or is wishy washy about commitment, or paying you the same attention that you are paying her ... then she doesn't want it bad enough. You said you feel like you have some "sort of commitment".. You either do or you dont. Ive been there , Im still trying to detangle myself from something similar. it doesn't boost your self esteem, it ends up draining you.

my feeling is that you both like each other, but she doesn't want it as much as you do. You sound open, maybe there will be some one else who would appreciate your openness . For the right person, you wont need to "Ask" .

Look out for you xx

Honestly I haven’t talked about any type of feelings to her. The most I’ve said to her was I told her that I liked her and thought she was beautiful.I also agreed with her when she told me we have an amazing connection. That’s about it. I don’t even text her unless I feel like it’s 50/50. She takes like 5-6 hours to reply when we text (long texts) and I reciprocate back and if I don’t feel like it’s enough to reply, I don’t even reply. I am confident in myself and know that even though she’s the best I’ve ever had so far, I will not put her above me (even though sometimes I slip up.) do you think I should continue being like this? What do you suggest I do since she has know I des I feel like crap and she contacts me talking about something and is just so excited to talk but I’m left feeling so confused. I mean I can’t just ignore her.