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is my husband selfish or it's me?


treeye

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I recently got a new job and have to work night shift temporarily during training period. I hate night shift because I can not sleep, 5 hours the top before I go in. I'm working four 12 hour night shifts in a roll this weekend and my husband and my mother-in-low watch my 5 month old and my 3 year old since they are off on weekends. My parents have been the main baby sitter since the baby was born but they are not currently available.

 

The baby cried a lot the past night. I went to my mother-in-law's to feed the baby after work for 1 hour. After feeding her, my husband does not want me to go home, he wants me to stay at his Mom's with the kids, him, and his Mom. I said I'm terrified that I am a light sleeper, I may not fall asleep with the noises. I can not function with 1 hour of sleep. He said "you are fine, you were sound sleep when I walked in", "we are all very tired, not just you".I mentioned that my workers' husband took care their kids when she works, he said "why don't you find someone else?".

 

I am upset that he does not care about me not getting enough sleep with a new high-demanding job. Why can he suck it up, he has the entire weekend off anyway and his mom is up at night with the baby anyway. I am just looking for feedbacks. I love my kids and I don't want to build grudges towards my husband. thank you.

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I recently got a new job and have to work night shift temporarily during training period. I hate night shift because I can not sleep, 5 hours the top before I go in. I'm working four 12 hour night shifts in a roll this weekend and my husband and my mother-in-low watch my 5 month old and my 3 year old since they are off on weekends. My parents have been the main baby sitter since the baby was born but they are not currently available.

 

The baby cried a lot the past night. I went to my mother-in-law's to feed the baby after work for 1 hour. After feeding her, my husband does not want me to go home, he wants me to stay at his Mom's with the kids, him, and his Mom. I said I'm terrified that I am a light sleeper, I may not fall asleep with the noises. I can not function with 1 hour of sleep. He said "you are fine, you were sound sleep when I walked in", "we are all very tired, not just you".I mentioned that my workers' husband took care their kids when she works, he said "why don't you find someone else?".

 

I am upset that he does not care about me not getting enough sleep with a new high-demanding job. Why can he suck it up, he has the entire weekend off anyway and his mom is up at night with the baby anyway. I am just looking for feedbacks. I love my kids and I don't want to build grudges towards my husband. thank you.

Why can't YOU just tell him "no, dear... I cannot sleep here and I am going home" give him a kiss and then tell him you'll see him tomorrow... It's THAT simple. Why are you making this more difficult then it has to be?

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You must have your sleep especially when you're working. Would your husband tell you not to shower or brush your teeth or stay hydrated? Same thing. Please just be direct, assertive and matter of fact - "thanks for the suggestion, I need to make sure I get enough sleep at home". Also I would look into alternative child care for now -is that available?

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