What Would You Make of This?

So in my endeavour to make better choices in dating, I pretty much analyse every person who crosses my path for suitability as a partner. The idea being that when I’m finally ready to get back on the horse I will have a good idea of what/who I should be avoiding. So far it’s going well and I’m picking out some good clues.

I have a friend. He is split from his partner of 4 years (at least 4 months). She still has some items at his house but he has not removed them or insisted she collect them. They still interact and she cared for his (their) rabbit whilst he went on holiday.

I’m reading this as something to avoid, likely not over his ex (he initiated the split), and not ready to move on and date. If they decided to remain friends I wouldn’t find it half so weird but according to him she acts very strange lately and it doesn’t really sound like they’re friends, more like 2 people who haven’t really completed the breakup process.

Even if you choose to be friends you break up properly by removing all your belongings from each other’s house?

Why hasn't he asked her to collect her belongings, or brought them to her? He claims that she is acting strange, but he isn't exactly closing the door. Why talk sht? That would lower him in my estimation.

You are spot on. They still have unfinished business between them. A situation to stay far far away from.

I think your assessment is smart. You don't know for sure and though it may not be a red flag, it's certainly a yellow one.

Red means stop. Yellow - yield. Time may change things but for now consider this a - wait and see.

I personally stay away from men who are freshly out of relationships.

Carry on!

His ex is now having custody of the rabbit until new year. I noticed some pics in his house that are probably of his ex partner. He talks about her a lot. He told me some of the reason why they split up.

He mentions things to me about dating sites he is on, refers to us as friends. He offered to make up the spare room last time I was there so I could stay over. Yet we hug like we will be apart for months. We cuddled on the sofa whilst watching TV. He leads me around by the hand sometimes in a jokey patronising way. I’ve had friends I’ve been as close with before (even closer) but it’s unusual. He’s a bit like a gay best friend who’s not gay lol.

I think he just wants company and proximity whilst he heals. I don’t think he has any friends locally as he lived abroad for most of his life and only bought a house here to be with his ex and now is stuck here.

I’ll create some distance, we’ve been together the last 3 days and he wanted to see me tonight but I declined. Think I will dial back the one on one time. People are already starting to think we’re a couple.

Are you interested in him as more than a friend?

Is their a custody battle over the rabbit or will she receive regular visitation rights.

For your sake run away, your his rebound.

Is their a custody battle over the rabbit or will she receive regular visitation rights.

 

For your sake run away, your his rebound.

That's what I'm thinking!!

Are you interested in him as more than a friend?

I’m attracted to him but I’m not ready to be involved with anyone yet and I’m certainly not up for being a rebound!

That's what I'm thinking!!

Lmao, about the rabbit or the rebound?

Well, both.

The rebound, for sure. But also the intricacies and excuses involved with the rabbit-custody arrangement. It just goes to show that they haven't truly ended their relationship. It's still messy in there.

Well, both.

 

The rebound, for sure. But also the intricacies and excuses involved with the rabbit-custody arrangement. It just goes to show that they haven't truly ended their relationship. It's still messy in there.

Yeah. I can’t say I’m surprised. I don’t think he has many, if any friends locally. I’ve been there where you have the choice of separating from your ex entirely and being alone or not quite separating, so you don’t feel like you’ve got no-one.

I’ve tried both options in the past.

Well if he wants a friend he’s got one in me but I’m not playing piggy in the middle along with the rabbit 😂