Survival Diary

You came in to my life and briskly swept me off my feet like a strong and powerful tornado. You spun my world upside down for the thrill. Your thrill has dissipated. You left me as quickly as you came.

 

I am in pain. I am weak. I am confused. I am lost. But I won't give up. Come what may, I will overcome it. The generous gift of pain you gave me will not break me. I WILL survive.

 

I vow to do something that makes me happy each day, whether its big or small.

 

Step away sadness! Your in my way!

 

 

 

Thursday Day 1: December 7, 2017

 

I bookmarked this place in my Yelp account to try their snow flake ice cream for some time now. I wasn't in the mood to go before because of the break-up. He had said to me many times before "I'm not one to dwell" so nor should I.

 

There are different flavors, I got the green tea snow flake ice cream ($14.95). Not bad but I've had better in South Korea.

 

The weekend is almost here...gotta start planning. ]

Beautiful words IO*

 

So what did you plan for the weekend..? How do you plan to treat yourself..?

 

Carus*

Friday Day 2: December 8, 2017

 

 

You sure don't disappoint my mornings, clutter my mind as soon as my eyes flutter. I know the purpose of your insensitive visits because the morning brawls brew 33 cups of bitter coffee that left a sour after taste. No more brawls being I am not a fighter. I will embrace you being I am a lover.

 

"Hello you. Good morning to you too. Have a good day. See you tomorrow. Goodbye."

 

Happy Friday Universe!

 

I had my 34th cup of coffee today that didn't taste bitter nor sour, but it did leave a smile.

 

A quick glance, I thought this was a big lime (*chuckles*). It taste like a grapefruit but much sweeter and less bitter. It's delicious and refreshing. A good fruit to start the day. ]

Beautiful words IO*

 

So what did you plan for the weekend..? How do you plan to treat yourself..?

 

Carus*

Thank you Carus. How are you today? I hope Friday is treating you well. Any plans for tonight?

 

I am going to have dinner with a friend tonight. She resides in a different county. I'm looking forward to a nice drive, a change of atmosphere, and car karaoke..alone.

 

Having brunch with a couple of friends tomorrow and Christmas shopping after *feeling dizzy just the thought of it*...

 

TGIF! Are you and everyone... ]

Friday Day 2: December 8, 2017

 

 

You sure don't disappoint my mornings, clutter my mind as soon as my eyes flutter. I know the purpose of your insensitive visits because the morning brawls brew 33 cups of bitter coffee that left a sour after taste. No more brawls being I am not a fighter. I will embrace you being I am a lover.

 

"Hello you. Good morning to you too. Have a good day. See you tomorrow. Goodbye."

 

Happy Friday Universe!

 

I had my 34th cup of coffee today that didn't taste bitter nor sour, but it did leave a smile.

 

A quick glance, I thought this was a big lime (*chuckles*). It taste like a grapefruit but much sweeter and less bitter. It's delicious and refreshing. A good fruit to start the day. Fun Fact...

 

]

i like your writing Insideoutch xx

Saturday Day 3: December 9, 2017

 

"Hello you. Good morning to you too. Have a good day. See you tomorrow. Goodbye."

 

Last night, I drove past a path we once tour together, your right hand weave my left hand, speedy hearts at 143 mph. When I reminisce, it made me smile, not cry.

A thousand piece puzzle to a broken heart, I placed three pieces back together.

 

This flavorful Sukhothai noodle soup is perfect for a snowy day. Yummy in my tummy. I'm happy.

 

I enjoy coloring. It calms me and put my mind at peace. This is my way of meditation.

 

Completed this page today...moving on to the next.

20171209/b2aaa63cf07bb290874e30ec0edb3c4e.jpg

i like your writing Insideoutch xx

Thank you sputnik123.

 

FYI: I follow you and Carus's thread religiously.

Sunday Day 4: December 10, 2017

 

"Hello you. Good morning to you too. Have a good day. See you tomorrow. Goodbye."

 

I didn't do much today but I'm exhausted. Babysitting is tough when two siblings don't get along.

 

Thankfully, I discovered a solution to this matter. Watch children movies non-stop! We watched three movies, Madagascar 2, Sing, and The secret life of pets.

 

Although a good deal of rest is needed for my eyes, I had a wonderful time with my nephews whom I hold dear to my heart. These two angels/monsters are my greatest supporters after the breakup. I collected innumerable hugs and kisses from my boys, advice too.

 

☆ Conversations with my nephews ☆

 

Big brother: Why doesn't he love you anymore?

 

Me: I don't know... *teardrops forming*

 

Big brother: What are you going to do?

 

Me: I don't know... *teardrops falling*

 

Big brother: You need to do something to get him back!

 

Me: What do I do?

 

Big brother: You need to like...pour ice on his back...do it not suspiciously...when he doesn't know...okay?

 

Me: ROFL

 

End.

 

Me: What do I do? *crying stage*

 

Little brother: I don't know...

 

Me: I miss him so much...

 

Little brother: HE DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!!

 

Me: *Crying and laughing simultaneously*

 

End.

 

 

I love my nephews so much! They motivate me to push forward and that it will get better. They stand strong for me during my weakest and I promise to be at my strongest for them, at all times.

Monday Day 5: December 11, 2017

 

"Hello you. Good morning to you too. Have a good day. See you tomorrow. Goodbye."

 

It's currently 3:47am (Tuesday). If I'm still awake, it's still Monday to me! Hahahaha...

 

It was our company's holiday party today, cosplay theme. Some colleagues did a magnificent job on their costumes. Yay to our back office minions for winning the costume contest. I had a wonderful time!

 

Busy schedule ahead. A birthday party, a school trip, and two Christmas potlucks. Hmmm...what magic can I pull out from the oven or stove top? I am not a great cook but I do my best. 🥗

]

Tuesday Day 6: December 12, 2017

 

Happy Tuesday!

 

Yay! Thank you for no show this morning.

 

A tired day. I couldn't gather full capacity of energy from the three hour charge last night. Having faint vitality is fitting as my mind only pleasure the thoughts of a soft bed and a downy pillow, but not you. Sweet dreams.

 

Gave my brother and SIL a day off today to go on a date to spend some quality time. Picked up little brother from school, fed him, helped with his homework, study site words, and did some reading. As soon as his parents step foot in the door, I collapsed on the couch and took a looooong nap or consider going to bed early...hahahaha.

 

Keeping busy and being tired really helps. No thoughts of him. No tainted memories. Smooth sailing today.

 

Little brother had a Christmas shopping event at school today. He bought all of us a Christmas gift. This is my gift from sweet little brother.

]

*** Posting yesterday's journal today. I caught a cold yesterday and the medicine knocked me out before I can post it. ***

 

 

Wednesday Day 7: December 13, 2017

 

Happy birthday to our Big brother! I love you!

 

Happy Wednesday!

 

Letting go of hope definitely heals a broken heart. I cherished your many expressions that my eyes once captured but is now fading. I thought of you for a moment while sitting in traffic today. It's snowing and I wonder if you're staying warm, but I quickly changed the thought of enjoying a Chai latte instead.

 

There was a time I couldn't stop crying when I listen to the song 'Fading like a flower' by Roxette. It's playing now and no tears.

 

Ran errands with my brother in the afternoon for Big brother's birthday dinner celebration. All went well. Big brother loves building Legos so all his gifts were Lego sets.

lovely writing

Thursday Day 8: December 14, 2017

 

Happy Thursday!

 

I am feeling a bit sad today. Could it be because I'm under the weather to feel this way? If so, I have to rid the germs quick cos its making me weak. Also, a few glasses of fresh vitamin C should speed up the process. Speaking of which, once upon a time not too long ago I squeezed fresh orange juice for him when he was feeling unwell (*sigh*). I need to snap out of it. These memories won't do any good for me right now. I need to sleep to divert my mind from unnecessary thoughts. Resting in bed waiting for the meds to kick in...hurry! 🤧

 

My emotion is pushing to come out. I can't let it happen. Playing Tom Petty's song - I won't back down for extra support...

 

 

 

Well, I won't back down

No, I won't back down

You can stand me up at the gates of hell

But I won't back down

 

No, I'll stand my ground

Won't be turned around

And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down

Gonna stand my ground

 

And I won't back down

(I won't back down)

Hey, baby, there ain't no easy way out

(I won't back down)

Hey, I will stand my ground

And I won't back down

 

Well I know what's right

I got just one life

In a world that keeps on pushin' me around

But I'll stand my ground

 

 

I've been very busy and exhausted since my last post, but I'm back! I will try my best to back track my days.

 

 

Friday Day 9: December 15, 2017

 

Meh Friday!

 

A piece of mail for him was sent to my place concerning late fees had me confuzzled. Should I be a biche and ignore his mail to protect myself from his thorns, or, break NC to apprise him and a chance of getting ed? Of course, I chose the latter because former is not my character. I believe in morality, which is doing right. He answered to his matter and asked to drop off my things. Where is my first aid kit?

 

 

Saturday Day 10: December 16, 2017

 

Woozy Saturday!

 

In view to the fact I was still sick and had a minor infection from the , brunch with my friends was cancelled. Furthermore, my aunt's 70th birthday celebration is the next day so I must rest well. Meds and Zzzs is what I need...

 

 

Sunday Day 11: December 17, 2017

 

Happy Sunday!

 

Happy birthday to my aunt! Surrounded by families, friends, laughters, and a lot of good food. It was a great dinner party. Unfortunately my night ended poorly by him dropping off my things. The weather is cold but not as cold as he.

 

My heartstrings froze, shattered, and evaporated.