Nausea as a result of lying?

Long story short: a young man named Mike who I met on Tinder last month have decided to be a couple. Sadly, we also decided it would be best to keep it secret for about 2-3 months before going public. (Yes, this is the young man who is divorced with 2 kids in Virginia.)

On December 5, we went out to dinner and spent some quality time together at a secluded spot. I admit, I lied to my parents about the second part. I said we went to see a movie.

The past 2 days I've been experiencing poor appetite and nausea. I suspect it's the result of lying. Obviously, if I told my parents, "We're going to dinner and then spend two hours getting to know each other privately" I highly doubt they'd be thrilled. Not to mention before I left the house to meet Mike my mom told me that "Dad is upset that you're getting involved with him." Still, as I left Dad told me to "have fun."

As you can see, it's quite obvious my parents don't want me to see Mike. But I've enjoyed my time with Mike and I want to keep seeing him.

I try to remind myself that I'm an adult and that it's my right to see him. But obviously I hate that I have to keep it hush-hush. But it truly seems like I don't have much of a choice.

Thank you for reading; Feedback/opinions/encouragement welcome.

How old is he? Why are you calling him a young man lol. Why are you involving your parents in this, you're a grown woman.

How old is he? Why are you calling him a young man lol. Why are you involving your parents in this, you're a grown woman.

He is 31. Lol so all right, maybe not that young. I still live with my parents, so if I’m going out somewhere they at least would like to know where I’m going.

He is 31. Lol so all right, maybe not that young. I still live with my parents, so if I’m going out somewhere they at least would like to know where I’m going.

Well you are 33 years old and need to figure out how to draw up healthy ADULT boundaries with your parents, regardless of your living situation with them. Sharing what you are doing, where you are going and with whom is acting like you are 12 and frankly, TMI. It's a bit like your parents were to start discussing with you the intimate details of their sex life. It's just....nooooooo.

I don't mean any offence in this question but I think it would explain a few things. Are you by chance Autistic? Is that why they are treating you like you are 14 and have caused you to feel guilt when you go against their opinions?

33 and living at home? Why is that? Your intimate life is none of your parents' business.

I don't mean any offence in this question but I think it would explain a few things. Are you by chance Autistic? Is that why they are treating you like you are 14 and have caused you to feel guilt when you go against their opinions?

Holy cow—-how did you guess? Lol you are right on the dot, I’m autistic.

33 and living at home? Why is that? Your intimate life is none of your parents' business.

I’m autistic and the only job I’ve been able to keep for more than 8 months is a part-time cashier position at my local supermarket. I’ve been that for 4 years now.

Holy cow—-how did you guess? Lol you are right on the dot, I’m autistic.

Please don't keep your relationship a secret from them. They are looking out for your best interests and the best way for them to do that is to see the two of you interact together. If he loves and respects you, he will want to show your parents that he is serious about you. It is normal for a boyfriend to be coming to dinner at your home and interacting with your parents to see how he treats you and is not taking advantage in ways that you may not be able to pick up on.

So far your relationship with him sounds reciprocal in fondness and investment so why not ask your parents to meet him and see is intentions with you?

He's not yet divorced so that alone would scare most parents whether their child was on the spectrum or not so don't go behind their back in what you're doing with him and you'll feel much better about things all around.

So far your relationship with him sounds reciprocal in fondness and investment so why not ask your parents to meet him and see is intentions with you?

 

He's not yet divorced so that alone would scare most parents whether their child was on the spectrum or not so don't go behind their back in what you're doing with him and you'll feel much better about things all around.

Eventually he will meet them, yes. But I don’t think right now is the best idea. And yes, he is divorced.

Eventually he will meet them, yes. But I don’t think right now is the best idea. And yes, he is divorced.

Why don't you think its a good idea for him to meet them?

Why don't you think its a good idea for him to meet them?

As I said, he's divorced with 2 kids; they live in Virginia with his ex wife. My parents honestly don't seem to want me to get involved with a guy with baggage like that. But Mike and I truly have started to get feelings for each other. I want to keep seeing him, and I will.

Nausea as a result of lying?

Personally I don't believe your nausea is a result of lying. But then again, keeping things secret for 2-3 months can play havoc with the mind. The thought of being "caught out" will no doubt make anyone feel sick. Remember, once you start lying, you end up lying more and more so as to cover up the previous lies. Not worth it. I would say, be an adult about it.

Personally I don't believe your nausea is a result of lying. But then again, keeping things secret for 2-3 months can play havoc with the mind. The thought of being "caught out" will no doubt make anyone feel sick. Remember, once you start lying, you end up lying more and more so as to cover up the previous lies. Not worth it. I would say, be an adult about it.

Mike and I decided to be a couple, but we haven't told anyone yet. I won't lie to my parents about who I'm with or where I'm going, but I just won't tell them that I'm his girlfriend until next year.

This afternoon after I took my birth control pill, I started to feel much, much better. (Oddly, this was the first week of my new pack. My period was last week but until this afternoon I was having typical PMS/period symptoms.)

As I said, he's divorced with 2 kids; they live in Virginia with his ex wife. My parents honestly don't seem to want me to get involved with a guy with baggage like that. But Mike and I truly have started to get feelings for each other. I want to keep seeing him, and I will.

That's fine and you've mentioned that before but why not introduce him to your parents since they know you are dating him anyway. Let them get to know him and thereby (hopefully) seeing that he treats you well and his intentions are good?

You are feeling ill from being disingenuous with your parents so why do that to yourself? You are going to date him anyway as you've stated regardless so maybe you should try doing it up front and guilt free.