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Thread: Do I still have a chance or do I let go?

  1. #1

    Do I still have a chance or do I let go?

    I met a beautiful girl and we were long distance for about two years. She was my first girlfriend since before her, I've always dated guys. Initially, I was confused as to how I go about it. I didn't know at the time she would mean so much to me so i was also dating a guy at the same time behind her back for a few months. Him and I never had sex let alone ever kiss. Regardless, it was wrong even if i didn't have feelings for him. He was basically a "cover up". I felt disgusted with myself and still do. I ended it but never told my girlfriend the whole truth because I was terrified she would leave me. We ended fighting so much and breaking up back in May. Since then, we still texted each other and fought/loved each other. It was back and forth. I have changed my ways. My friends and family know about me coming out, I don't lie and I certainly would never cheat.Unfortunately, she stopped trusting me - rightfully so- and refused to get back together with me but still held on. For a bit, she blocked me and started dating a boy which didn't work out and she came back to me. We were almost a couple again. We were happy, saying we loved each other and had plans to see each other again after finals. One day it just stopped and now she went on a date with a new boy and claims she's happy. Her friends believe she does not know what she wants and I don't know what to do. I know in my heart she's the girl for me and i keep trying to see her but she isn't agreeing. She's scared to be with me again but I want to prove to her that I would never hurt her again. Is she done with me for good? Is this new boy just another rebound and she's trying to hide what she really wants? I pray to God that she comes back. I really do. I can't let her go. There is something about this girl and I just can't. It has been 8 months since we officially broke up. Ill be around her hometown in a few weeks. Is there a possibility she will change her mind?

  2. #2

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    1. Does she understand your situation (ie, why you would need a coverup)?
    2. Does she know, as of current, how you feel about her, how you think that this is serious and want to continue a relationship with her?

    I'm not sure how much you have contacted her recently, but it sounds like you may be a tad bit possessive. Give her some space. I'd suggest (if your answer to either of my questions was yes) explaining these to her, and then letting her decide. Don't pressure her for an answer, and don't be constantly checking in. If you have explained this to her, give her a break anyways. It may be hard, but it's likely that she feels very conflicted, so try to let her breathe without worrying about your immediate reaction.

    You mentioned going to her hometown soon. A little before you go, call her and mention that you'll be passing through there, and ask if you two can meet up. It doens't need to be a date. It can just be coffee to catch up. Or, if you want, you can express that you'd like to try to get back together. In either case, try and leave it totally up to her without pressure.

    If it ends up that she does indeed want to move on, try to yourself. That doens't mean to throw yourself at another person- it's likely to take time- but don't remain hung up over her. Maybe the time of her life just isn't right at the moment.

  3. #3
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    I agree with guest909. Call her up. Say you're in town and if she would like to meet. By the way, did you guys actually date or was this all done over the Internet? Just trying to figure out if this was a real relationship or just a fantasy thing. So many people fail to mention this.

  4. #4
    I.T was real! we met on tinder while I was in town visiting family which is the town she’s from as well. Since then, we began visiting each other almost every month and several times over the summer. I want to call her up while I’m there, but she said she’s been seeing a boy now? She’s been bouncing around a lot so I’m having trouble with what seems like she’s actually happy or if she doesn’t know what she wants

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  6. #5
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    Sorry. Just so many people neglect to say that it was all on the Internet.

    What were you two fighting about? Many times, that's the key to why a relationship breaks up. If you're fighting, then there's too much stress around. Usually, it's one person wanting the other person to act a certain way that they're not capable of acting or isn't in their nature.

  7. #6
    No it’s okay I understand. We were fighting over the lie I told at the beginning regarding the cover up. She felt she couldn’t trust me which I understood and then for months she’s been going back and forth with me. Loving me and then dating someone else. Now she’s dating a boy when just over a 1 week ago, she was talking about loving me again. It’s confusing.


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