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My husband is dating his coworker


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Hi everyone, I would appreciate some advice. My husband and I has been married for 10 years and has been on and off during the 10years together. We have 3 children. My husband has been working with this women for several years and I have always been in secure about her but he has been reassuring me that they are just friends and nothing has happened between them. To cut the long story short we went through a taugh time and I decided that we should separate. After 4 months of separation my husband informed me that he’s dating this women now and he really likes her as they are god friends and understand each other. Off course I’m jealous of this women but I can’t stop thinking about the bad things that my husband used to tell me about her. She would get drunk and will sleep around with both women and men. She was also a mistress of their colleague who finished things with her to be with his wife. My husband really think he could be happy with her as he knows everything about her. I really love my husband and want my family back together. Should I just leave them alone as they could really be happy together and move on with my life? I know he’s doing it as he’s was lonely and she was there as a friend but also know she will hurt him as he’s not even her typical type. Thanks

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I wouldn’t mind going for counselling to save my marriage but I don’t think he would though. My issue here is if he really cared about me why would he go with someone he knew I was always insecure with their friendship although he denied it that nothing happened in the past.

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I really love my husband
Loving someone is not enough to keep you (or them) happy and humming along nicely in a marriage or otherwise relationship. You have been on and off. That is enough to tell you that you're not ever going to be compatible enough to stay together for a lifetime. File for divorce, heal from that and then put yourself out there to find a man that you won't be off and on with. That kind of on/off relating isn't healthy for either of you and definitely not for any children that may come (or are already in the picture ?) in the future.

 

My husband and I has been married for 10 years and has been on and off during the 10years together.
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Hi everyone, I would appreciate some advice. My husband and I has been married for 10 years and has been on and off during the 10years together. We have 3 children. My husband has been working with this women for several years and I have always been in secure about her but he has been reassuring me that they are just friends and nothing has happened between them. To cut the long story short we went through a taugh time and I decided that we should separate. After 4 months of separation my husband informed me that he’s dating this women now and he really likes her as they are god friends and understand each other. Off course I’m jealous of this women but I can’t stop thinking about the bad things that my husband used to tell me about her. She would get drunk and will sleep around with both women and men. She was also a mistress of their colleague who finished things with her to be with his wife. My husband really think he could be happy with her as he knows everything about her. I really love my husband and want my family back together. Should I just leave them alone as they could really be happy together and move on with my life? I know he’s doing it as he’s was lonely and she was there as a friend but also know she will hurt him as he’s not even her typical type. Thanks

 

What does on and off mean? You have an open marriage? You state that he is "dating" like he is a guy that you are casually dating and he is dating other. I do not think you should say "i'll leave them alone because they could be happy together". I think, on the contrary, you should not be so passive and you should fight like heck for your family. Lay down the law with him. You don't need to allow this See an attorney, but also see a counselor.

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I wouldn’t mind going for counselling to save my marriage but I don’t think he would though. My issue here is if he really cared about me why would he go with someone he knew I was always insecure with their friendship although he denied it that nothing happened in the past.

 

"i wouldn't mind" =passive. "but i don't think he would.."=passive. "Okay, i know you are cheating on me and its not acceptable. Wednesday night we are visiting a marriage counselor and if you want to keep your family, you will cut contact with her"

 

It has nothing to do with "caring" about you. You seem fine either way with this to him - he probably cares about you but he does it because he CAN. There is really no risk of losing you, you know?

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  • 3 weeks later...

I agree with Thatwasthen. Off and on again is rarely good or beneficial. You asked why would he go to someone he knew made you insecure. Once you asked him to separate it was no longer about you. He probably told you all those negative things about her to make you feel better because of your insecurity and you really don't know if they were accurate. Yes, I think you should leave them alone. You asked him to separate and he moved on but he is still obligated to the children.

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