Would it be insane to kiss this guy?

I'm in my early 20s and am crushing hard on my physical therapist who's helping me with a chronic injury. Since I got injured, my life's been turned upside down. I haven't had a social life in nearly a year and a half. I used to have a ton of friends, go on dates with many amazing guys, and had a vibrant life.

Now I'm home a lot and the only consistent man I interact with in real life (texts don't count..) is my PT. I have dreams about him, which are most likely caused by all the physical contact. The urge to make a move is ridiculously strong - would it be insane? It seems crazy just writing this out? I fantasize about closing the door whenever we're alone together and telling him to kiss me - and maybe hookup. My program with him is nearly over so I'll wonder "what if" if I don't make a move. But I know it's not allowed..

He's 46. Guys always pursue me and make out with me first. I've never felt this strong urge to initiate and it's freaking me out.

Omg.....no

I'm in my early 20s and am crushing hard on my physical therapist who's helping me with a chronic injury. Since I got injured, my life's been turned upside down. I haven't had a social life in nearly a year and a half. I used to have a ton of friends, go on dates with many amazing guys, and had a vibrant life.

 

Now I'm home a lot and the only consistent man I interact with in real life (texts don't count..) is my PT. I have dreams about him, which are most likely caused by all the physical contact. The urge to make a move is ridiculously strong - would it be insane? It seems crazy just writing this out? I fantasize about closing the door whenever we're alone together and telling him to kiss me - and maybe hookup. My program with him is nearly over so I'll wonder "what if" if I don't make a move. But I know it's not allowed..

 

He's 46. Guys always pursue me and make out with me first. I've never felt this strong urge to initiate and it's freaking me out.

What you're proposing (going in for a kiss or closing the door etc.) would be sexual harassment. If you like him, when you're finished your therapy, ask him out for coffee or a drink. If he's interested in you, he'll accept or he will decline because its unprofessional for him to get involved with a patient/client.

Wow. Just...NO. Totally inappropriate. Imagine if the roles were reversed and a guy did this to his PT. He'd be locked up for sexual harassment.

What a bad idea. Dont do it. I once had a crush on someone so bad it almost drove me to do stupid things, along the lines of what you are thinking. I'm glad I restrained myself, it would have been disastrous to try to live out my crush.

that is sexual harassment if he is there for PT and you try to make a pass at him. Imagine if the genders were reversed and your sister told you her health professional tried to touch her breast or kiss her. He would be arrested. Wake up. Go into the office for PT or ask for a female physical therapist.

btw, he is old enough to be your father.

What a bad idea. Dont do it. I once had a crush on someone so bad it almost drove me to do stupid things, along the lines of what you are thinking. I'm glad I restrained myself, it would have been disastrous to try to live out my crush.

But what's the worst that could happen? The urge is so strong. Only kissing is fine. I know I'll regret it though. It's so hard!

That's true but I couldn't care less. I'm so conflicted. I know I shouldn't do anything but I really want to.

That's true but I couldn't care less. what's the worst that could happen?

Sorry, but both those statements show major immaturity. You couldn't care less? Really? He could lose his job!! How is any of that right? You don't care?

OP, it's interesting to note that since you registered in May, all your threads talk about people you crush on. It seems every month you have a different crush. It's almost like you live in a fantasy land and not reality. You seem to struggle with real relationships?

Sorry, but both those statements show major immaturity. You couldn't care less? Really? He could lose his job!! How is any of that right? You don't care?

 

OP, it's interesting to note that since you registered in May, all your threads talk about people you crush on. It seems every month you have a different crush. It's almost like you live in a fantasy land and not reality. You seem to struggle with real relationships?

Well, no one would know about it. It wouldn't jeopardize anything..nothing will happen anyway.

My platonic relationships are fine. I have a thing for older men which is a problem. I can't get attracted to guys my age who like me. I simply can't. And they're more attractive and probably better for me anyway. I agree to go on dates with guys my age but I find myself lusting after older guys. Recently I also let them kiss me, but I didn't feel anything - and one of them was gorgeous and had a nice personality too.

Maybe I just want what I can't have.

Sorry, but both those statements show major immaturity. You couldn't care less? Really? He could lose his job!! How is any of that right? You don't care?

 

OP, it's interesting to note that since you registered in May, all your threads talk about people you crush on. It seems every month you have a different crush. It's almost like you live in a fantasy land and not reality. You seem to struggle with real relationships?

Also I said "I couldn't care less" in response to abitbroken's reply: "btw, he is old enough to be your father" and not to your message. Of course I care about other people's wellbeing. I'm not as awful and immature as you're making me out to be..

Also I said "I couldn't care less" in response to abitbroken's reply: "btw, he is old enough to be your father" and not to your message. Of course I care about other people's wellbeing. I'm not as awful and immature as you're making me out to be..

He's probably married. He is 46 years old after-all.

*Was your father in your life while growing up?

Wouldn't surprise me if he's married anyway. OP, you're crossing the line and what you want to do is plain and simply wrong. Like I said before, if this was a male patient doing this to a female PT, he would be locked up for sexual harassment. Surely you can acknowledge that it is wrong.

He's probably married. He is 46 years old after-all.

 

*Was your father in your life while growing up?

He was and still is. There's no one else in my life I'm closer to. No one else compares. My dad's 56.

Even though I had a supportive father (not so much a supportive mother), I've only ever crushed on men over age 30. Usually they're guys in their late 20s/early 30s but this time it's an older guy. The guy doesn't look 46 though. More like late 30s.

There are some great guys my age I should totally date (if I was rational). They're single, good-looking, well-educated (going to med/law school or tech for instance), smart, and like me a lot. Instead I'm very very interested in a middle-aged married guy. So it's hard

Wouldn't surprise me if he's married anyway. OP, you're crossing the line and what you want to do is plain and simply wrong. Like I said before, if this was a male patient doing this to a female PT, he would be locked up for sexual harassment. Surely you can acknowledge that it is wrong.

He is. I'm not crossing the line though - I haven't done anything. It is wrong to even entertain the idea but I've been dreaming about it and sometimes I can't concentrate on more important things in my life because of it.

It's frustrating why I can't just take the easy route and like a guy who already likes me.

What you're proposing (going in for a kiss or closing the door etc.) would be sexual harassment. If you like him, when you're finished your therapy, ask him out for coffee or a drink. If he's interested in you, he'll accept or he will decline because its unprofessional for him to get involved with a patient/client.

I agree with this. I also think the only reason your crushing on him so bad is because he seems to be the only man you’re interacting with. Once you’re healed and back out in the real world that will change, believe me you’ll find many other available men to crush on.

Have you ever considered professional counselling? I only ask because it seems to be a very real issue for you, crushing on so many men to the extent that can't concentrate, being irrational, and dreaming about them and almost not living in reality, but instead, living in a fantasy world. We ALL have had crushes in our lives, but when it gets out of control and taking over your life, that's not normal (imo).

I agree with this. I also think the only reason your crushing on him so bad is because he seems to be the only man you’re interacting with. Once you’re healed and back out in the real world that will change, believe me you’ll find many other available men to crush on.

That is true! But I don't know when I will be recovered. It sucks but it is what it is.

Have you ever considered professional counselling? I only ask because it seems to be a very real issue for you, crushing on so many men to the extent that can't concentrate, being irrational, and dreaming about them and almost not living in reality, but instead, living in a fantasy world. We ALL have had crushes in our lives, but when it gets out of control and taking over your life, that's not normal (imo).

But I don't crush on that many men. Right now it's just one! And it's not exactly out of control. It's affecting my productivity but not dictating my life. It's just frustrating that what I want and what is right don't align.

But I don't crush on that many men. Right now it's just one! And it's not exactly out of control. It's affecting my productivity but not dictating my life. It's just frustrating that what I want and what is right don't align.

You need to assess this from a different perspective.

This is a man who could lose his professional license by acting on this if you initiate it.

One of two things will happen: he reciprocates, then fears you turn the story and accuse him

of sexual harassment, or you kiss him, he rejects you, and he sues you for sexual harassment.

See how both scenarios end? BADLY.

Focus your attention elsewhere.

I an earlier thread you were totally appalled that someone you matched with on tinder and spoke with turns out to be married ... Is this any different ...you want to kiss a married man when he is simply doing his job . You will be put with another physio , a female , if they even let you go back .

I an earlier thread you were totally appalled that someone you matched with on tinder and spoke with turns out to be married ... Is this any different ...you want to kiss a married man when he is simply doing his job . You will be put with another physio , a female , if they even let you go back .

That is true. But that other guy on Tinder was very forward and was the one initiating things. I'm not going to do anything because I have self control but I want to do something. The struggle is real!

He is. I'm not crossing the line though - I haven't done anything. It is wrong to even entertain the idea but I've been dreaming about it and sometimes I can't concentrate on more important things in my life because of it.

 

It's frustrating why I can't just take the easy route and like a guy who already likes me.

The problem is if we don't control our thoughts - they can easily turn into both actions and misinterpretation - you will see all of his words as proof of attaction. I think you are cooped up right now if you require physical therapy in your home and because he is maybe the only man you are not related to who is in proximity to you a lot (or is the only one new), you are crushing on him where if you were feeling well, uninjured and were in day to day contact with more new to you men, you may not feel the same. its like the florence nightengale thing but in reverse.

If you cannot concentrate on other things because the thought of a romance with him becomes excessive - i think that is where it really draws the line into an obsession or need for counseling. If it were just a passing thought - that's another thing.

I think you need to get a hold on yourself.

How much longer will you have to see him for? If not that much longer, then sure, go flirt etc and perhaps things could work out later on... I wouldn't just jump right away and kiss, but you could suggest going out somewhere sometime or at least start chatting a bit on facebook etc..... at least that way it wouldn't seem like too much...