could i have everyone opnion please? :(

I’m living in UK for the past 2 years, i met someone almost a year ago, he is a very nice person and always treated me well. We are living together but i have never felt comfortable enough to call this place “Home”. We share all the bills and also his Mortgage, as he own the house. All the time he refers about the house, he always says His house! Never our place or our home! I have offered even to help financially to change his carpets, but all i heard was.. “it’s ny house”. I never asked or will never ask my name on the mortgage, I’m just asking to hear “our home”. I take care of the house, i do all the laundry, all the cooking.. And I still can’t call this place “home”. I always refer as “his house” or “where i live”.

Many times he has mentioned about getting married, but never goes further than that! I tried to talk with him.. and it seems to go nowhere!! He never spoke with his parents about it.. As he promised he would!

He said they are very conservative! Which I don’t believe, i have met them.. And they are lovely!! His sister is gay.. And living with her partner, they all accepted her very well! As he is 30’s, I wouldn’t think it would be a shock to talk about a marriage.

Am I overthinking too much in the end of all?

I really appreciate everyone’s help, I don’t have many froends over here.. I’m feeling suffocated!!

I would move into your own place . If you can’t even call it your home when you live there there’s something wrong with that . Plus I would never marry somebody who goes around saying mine mine mine mine mine like they are three . I would go off and make your own home .

Yikes! After 2 years with you contributing to the mortgage, it really needs to either make you an honest woman, or kiss goodbye his sugar momma and maid.

OP, why in the world are you doing all his chores???? Even if you were married, he still should be cleaning up after himself and his dirty draws. Don't talk to him about getting married; ask him straight blank, when will he be ready to marry you, and say to you specifically. If he says, "not sure," then it's time to not be contributing fiscally to his own equity!!!

Yikes! After 2 years with you contributing to the mortgage, it really needs to either make you an honest woman, or kiss goodbye his sugar momma and maid.

 

OP, why in the world are you doing all his chores???? Even if you were married, he still should be cleaning up after himself and his dirty draws. Don't talk to him about getting married; ask him straight blank, when will he be ready to marry you, and say to you specifically. If he says, "not sure," then it's time to not be contributing fiscally to his own equity!!!

Absolutely, amen.

I guess my take is a little bit different. Regarding the house, it IS his house as in he owns it not you. It would never occur to me to claim my bf's house as mine or even ours, unless I actually have legal share of ownership in the place. Yes, I would be living in HIS house, not ours.

It does sound to me like you are overstepping some boundaries, like with the carpet thing, and he is actually pushing back and asserting his boundaries. You should be paying in a fair share into the household since you are living there, however why you are paying half his mortgage is a little beyond me. His house, his mortgage, his responsibility unless he is willing to give you a shared ownership. This kind of stuff can also raise all kinds of legal issues as well, as to the rights of the other party paying into the mortgage. Murky waters I'd avoid. Ditto for all the other stuff you are doing - acting like wife, mom, housekeeper, cleaner, cook, etc. Doing all that isn't going to get you promoted into legal wife, but it sure can set you up into being taken advantage of.

Probably time to quite playing wifey, have a serious conversation with him about your respective future plans, including plans for this relationship if any, and either move forward in a concrete manner or move out and part ways.

Does your government recognize Common Law Marriage? Here in Ontario, Canada after living together for three years you are considered Common Law spouses and you would be entitled to half of the proceeds in his home which as been accumulated from the day you moved in. E.G. The house was worth 300,000 when you moved in and after three years it is worth 310,000. You would be entitle to 5,000 (half) of the 10,000 equity that has built up if you were to split up.

You have been paying your portion of the bills and a portion of his mortgage. I'd be seeing a lawyer if I were you and in the meantime, start asking for receipts for your portion of bills and mortgage paid. He's treating you like a tenant so you should treat him like a landlord.

Sorry to hear this. Never pay down someone's mortgage who holds the MY house thing over your head. As a tenant who pays rent, it is indeed your home, like a rental. It's not your house no matter how much wife-rehearsing you do. Stop at once enriching this guy when he's treating you like a boarder. Pay only your rent/share of costs. Stop playing housewife, maid, cook, etc. You have ZERO equity in this situation.

We share all the bills and also his Mortgage, as he own the house. All the time he refers about the house, he always says His house! Never our place or our home!

Yikes! After 2 years with you contributing to the mortgage, it really needs to either make you an honest woman, or kiss goodbye his sugar momma and maid.

 

OP, why in the world are you doing all his chores???? Even if you were married, he still should be cleaning up after himself and his dirty draws. Don't talk to him about getting married; ask him straight blank, when will he be ready to marry you, and say to you specifically. If he says, "not sure," then it's time to not be contributing fiscally to his own equity!!!

Please pay attention to this very good advice.

If you have only been with him a year, why on earth are you living with him - unless it was a platonic roommate situation? I think it was all a little sudden. You should be paying rent and half the utilitites but not property taxes, etc. He is right, it is HIS house. Marriage doesn't mean anything unless he proposes. Honestly, the best time to talk about marriage is when you first start dating - just a general idea of what the other person is looking for - are they looking for casual dating, looking to meet their future spouse - or what? Its a harder conversation when you are a year in and are just starting to speak of it and its a shock that the other person is not on the same page. Why does he have to say anything to his parents? Is he hiding that you are his girlfriend or is it about talking to them about marriage? He shouldn't need to talk to his folks about marriage, but if he says you are a roommate than that is a problem