Mixed signals

I have been dating my ex for about 3 years. We moved into together about 2 years ago. During a business trip she got drunk and was flirting over text with her personal trainer. First thing I did was tell her I wanted to end the relationship. After a week she said she didn’t want to sell the house and wanted to work on us. I agreed. But she doesn’t seem committed on it. She doesn’t text very often. She will ignore me for days. Then send a random text saying she’s not doing good. And she misses me and she wants to snuggle. But then if I go up there. She’s cold and distant. But gets angry if I ignore her. She tells me it’s awkward when I am with her. I don’t know if she’s stringing me along. Or doesn’t know her feelings looking for advice

What's really going on here? You said you moved in together 2 years ago, but that she misses you. And you go up to see her and she gets angry. I think you need to explain the relationship a bit more. Does she live on the second floor? I really don't know enough to give you any advice except that you have ended the relationship and she still has feelings for you. I wouldn't assume she's stringing you along. She just may not have any place to go.

What's really going on here? You said you moved in together 2 years ago, but that she misses you. And you go up to see her and she gets angry. I think you need to explain the relationship a bit more. Does she live on the second floor? I really don't know enough to give you any advice except that you have ended the relationship and she still has feelings for you. I wouldn't assume she's stringing you along. She just may not have any place to go.

Sorry. I will explain a little more. Me and my ex have owned a house together for 2 years. We broke up a month ago. I’m not in the house right now She texted me a week after we broke up saying she wanted to not sell our house since it’s in both our names. And wanted to work on us. I agreed. We went to counselling. But it’s been back and forth. She’s cold and distant. I work away. Have been giving her her space. She says she misses me and wants to cuddle when I’m away. But if I go up there she’s cold and distant.

The best way to deal with mixed signals is likely to talk with her about it. I suggest writing down main points of how you feel, and examples. Try not to exaggerate anything, or place blame. (Writing down is so that you don't forget when actually talking). If you can get her to listen to you, you can likely get her to explain some of her actions. Maybe she seems distant because her job has been busy and stressful. Talk with her about what needs you'd like to meet within the relationship, and ask her what she needs from you. However, if she refuses to or can't explain her actions, there may be a larger issue of her commitment to you, as you mentioned that she had flirted with her personal trainer. You could bring up some of these issues within your counseling as well, as a third party may help keep interactions from becoming too heated.

In your own opinion, do you want to make the relationship work? If so, you will need to consider what you would need from the relationship, and what you can give to make it work.

Maybe she is stringing you along. If so, trying to fix things with a person who doesn't want to likely will not work. If it came to that, I would consider getting out of the relationship.

Are there any other reasons for her to just keep you around? (Do you have more money, a higher social status, etc?) If not, then it is likely that she actually does want to continue the relationship- something is just not working. If so, consider if she would be using you for that reason.

In the end, it matters more about the details. I highly suggest communicating with her. I'd rather have the truth than be lied to if she is stringing you along.