Unsure of what I’m meant to do with my life.

Hello all! I am new on here and I will try to make my story as short as possible. Several years back I left my career in doing hair because 1. I hated it and 2. I developed hand tremors. I am a huge animal lover and I love anything involving the medical field, so my new dream was to become a vet tech. I landed a job a few months after quitting hair and thought I would see if I liked it before starting school to become a licensed tech. Stupid me, I didn’t realize how much a steady hand would be required in this field as well. Sadly, after 7 months I gave up on that dream because there was no room for advancement if your hands shake.

When I left I got a job as a leasing consultant at a large apartment community, just until I figured out what I wanted to do next. I hated that job and my boss was literally a bully to me and the other leasing agents. Over time I was presented with an awesome opportunity to work for a real estate company, which I accepted with excitement since that meant getting out of my current miserable job.

At this point I didn’t really want to work towards a career in real estate, but the opportunity was to good to pass up and I didn’t know what else I wanted to do with my life anyway. Overtime, they offered to pay for me to go to school and get licensed, and again, way to good of an opportunity to say no. I worked directly under the 3 owners of the company and over time one of the owners had sadly become so old that he was unable to do ANYTHING on his own anymore, and he was the Broker, meaning it was his job to run the company. Since he was unable, he refused to let another broker come in and take over and the other 2 owners were busy with other responsibilities, then the stress of running a company AND handling all of HIS sales fell on me. The stress was overwhelming but I did learn a lot very quickly. Once I was licensed I actually had agents coming to me with questions regarding a sale and some that didn’t know my position thought that I was a broker. It felt good to feel like I was dominating this career but at the same time I was barely getting paid for all the additional work that had been put on me. Every time I closed a deal, I got to watch my boss walk away with a $10,000 check for work that I handle 100% of. Most of the time he didn’t even know his clients names.

Eventually the work load and lack of money to show for it became to much. My husband, who comes from a long line of home builders and real estate agents, told me he wanted me to quit and he would support me while I worked on making a career for myself as an agent. Again, everything was falling perfectly in place for me to start a career in something I didn’t even want in the first place. But I figured since I put in the work to become licensed, I should at least give it a try. When I quit my job at the company my bosses were so appreciative of everything I had done for them over the yrs that they asked me to at least stay with them as an agent, which I did and still am. Right after quitting my job I closed my first sale right away and I was actually enjoying it, I think mainly because I was good at it and I felt confident.

Fast forward to present time and it has been a year since I sold that house and I haven’t sold anything since. I have ran into every rare and difficult problem that caused my sales to fall through with every client I’ve had in the past year. I’ve wasted tons of gas, time and money and have not made a dime. Also, real estate is something you have to stay active in or you can become very rusty with writing up contracts and the legal parts. Which is what’s happened, I haven’t written a contract in so long that I’m worried I might make a mistake if I write one now. Therefore all that confidence is gone and all I can think is I’m busting my butt and failing at a career I never wanted in the first place.

Now I just feel like a failure and I have not the slightest clue of what I want to do with my life. My husband is very supportive and he never mentions the fact that I haven’t made any money and he happily pays my dues to keep my license active. But I’m not the type of person who can keep up this life style without it eating away at me. I don’t want to ask my husband for money to go back to school, plus I don’t know what I could do anyways since everything I’m interested in would require steady hands. I love the medical field but I don’t see any of that as an option unless I just worked as a receptionist in a doctors office. I also love animals and have considered volunteering at a shelter. But the big picture is I failed at a career I never loved and I have never felt more lost than I do now.

If anyone has ever been in a situation similar to mine or has any input I would love to hear from you!

Well, I'm not the best to give a life advice but I'll try. When you are cornered and dont know what to do, just do anything and oportunities will open. To be honest, I've seen so many people doing jobs they are not competent to do that I think you are more than good enough to write another contract etc. You might need to invest some time into it, but you can do it.

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I haven’t completely given up, I still have a few clients I’m working with. However, they are some of the people that are in such a random crazy legal situation that I’m worried they will be another waste of my time if I can’t find a solution for them and then they are unable to purchase a home.

Maybe I will look into some volunteer work and see if that opens any doors for me.

My husband mentioned he wants me to start running his company for him once he gets all of the legal stuff out of the way. He knows I’m perfectly capable to handle that. I just hope he’s not setting this up for me out of pitty.

I hate sounding so insecure.

In a situation where someone was unsure of where to go career wise in their life, unless other financial problems highly restrict them, I'd normally suggest to them to find something that they would find enjoyment in doing. However, in your specific case, it appears that doing that (like the medical field) would be problematic based on your hand tremors. I would suggest looking more into what type of careers would suit you. (Such as careers that work well for people with shakey hands, there's bound to be something on the internet, or take a career test! [Yes, some of these can be utterly useless, but some can be eye opening]).

See if you can find a job that combines what you want and need, or if there's a job availability that would be willing to accomodate the need that you have.

If keeping a higher salary isn't as much of a need to you, then you could focus on volunteer hours at an animal shelter or similar. However, if feeling like you have a product from your efforts is essential to you personally, (like it is for many), ie a salary, then I would go on the route of trying to find something that works.

Don't force yourself into something that you find no personal want in, however, unless it is a need (ie financially). doing so may only make you feel more lost. Even the small steps can help get you to a place where you love what you are doing. For example, if by searching amongst other career opertunities you find interest in something that you have never heard of before, then you're already one step ahead than you would be working a job that you don't like.

Some possible ideas:

If you wouldn't mind helping to guide the next generation, teach a medical based class at a highschool or university.

If you don't feel the need to hold a paying job, maybe you could become a foster home for animals and care for them.

If you are willing to put in the effort, create and run business or non-profit organization based around helping those in the medical field.

If you have a creative mind, invent a product that would help improve the lives of animals, and find investors to back you.

(some of these ideas were created without full knowledge of how serious your hand tremors were)

Really, it comes down to your circumstances and what you aim to do. If your husband's offer of running his company doesn't interest you, don't feel obligated to take it. It isn't uncommon to need to try out different things before knowing that they will or won't work out for you. Hope that this helps.

Edit: You don't necessarily need to ask your husband for money to go back to school. Instead, you could take out your own loan if what you planned on going for had a promising outlook, and pay if off yourself if you felt like it would be too reliant.

I'm also looking into a new career, it's scary. The old adage of find something you love then figure out a way to make money doing it, springs to mind. But it's harder than it seems. Especially for me the job market is terrible here, like you medical issues forced me out of my previous career.

I agree trying any opportunities that come along is best.

For reference, I don't think your husband is offering you something out of pity, to expand a business one needs very reliable support staff and it's very hard to find. A partner or family member is often the best, perhaps that would be a rewarding option, as you can both grow the business and wealth together, he can concentrate on getting more clients you can do the admin, I presume that is how it would work.

This would be the best place to start. Have you had a comprehensive workup for this including seeing a neurologist and getting your thyroid tested? Other than that it sounds like you keep entering fields you don't like and don't want to stick to.

I developed hand tremors. I am a huge animal lover and I love anything involving the medical field, so my new dream was to become a vet tech. I landed a job a few months after quitting hair and thought I would see if I liked it before starting school to become a licensed tech.