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She stood me up


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So i've posted here before. People were saying this particular girl wasn't really interested in me, and it seems to be true. Fast forward until now:

 

 

All we've done is kissed and went out a few times. So i texted her 4 days prior and said we should go bowling. She says "okay when" and "maybe". I tell her the time and day and she says "okay remind me on saturday". (the only reason i texted her this stuff is because she actually came up to me in a bar one week ago, i originally was going to not speak to her)

 

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Saturday comes and i text her 4 hours prior saying ill be there. No response. I show up and say "Im here. Are you coming? If not thats ok. Just tell me". No response. I call once and it goes straight to voicemail after one ring. I call again and it rings a while and she doesnt answer.

 

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I get a text 1.5 hours later saying "sh*t sorry i was asleep". I then call her 30 mins later. No response. I then see her at the bar 5 hours later but she doesn't bother coming up to me. She sees me flirting with a legit model looking chick that i know. She literally Later that night she stares me in the eyes, *but* she has a guy hugging her. I just look away. Then she comes up to me and hugs me. She says "Sorry i honestly fell asleep for like 5 hours.... We're going to [bar name] " (she basically wanted me to come along imo).... i just nod the whole time and say "well ill see you around" and leave.

 

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So yea, I just take it she has someone else and is just playing/testing me. I'm not going to contact her at all. I know i'll see her around bars and stuff. I'm just going to find someone i find attractive. I don't know why but no one really seems interested in me. This particular girl seemed interested. She actually texted back, and was willing to go on dates with me. Usually i wont even get a text back.

People have said i'm attractive and stuff, so idk. I'm pretty awkward to talk to, and that is what really affected things imo. I can hold a decent conversation though.

 

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What do you think of this all of this? Was I that low in her radar for her to do this to me? Like maybe only a 10% attraction?

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You've tried repeatedly to get this woman interested in you. She is not.

 

I know you'll argue and bring up things that happened weeks ago to "prove" that yes, she IS interested, but nothing she's done since that time indicates any real interest. She probably agreed to go bowling because she didn't know if she had anything else going on, but she would have been there if she really wanted to.

 

Side note, why were you meeting her there? Why, if this was intended to be a date, didn't you arrange to pick her up?

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Let this be the signal to you to not pursue girls who are this uninterested. After your last thread about her, I am unclear as to why you attempted to see her again.

 

Your problem seems to be that you ignore the signs that someone isn't into it, persist anyway, and then are disappointed with the results. She gave you a very lukewarm "maybe" when you suggested this date. Then she didn't respond to your messages the day of. All of that together should have been your cue to not count on this date happening, and certainly not to show up to the meeting place. You have to learn not to build up your expectations based on so little tangible evidence that someone is interested.

 

I think she is not worth your time anyway. She could have been a lot more gracious about canceling. Instead, you got a flimsy excuse and a rather dopey apology when she bumped into you later that same night.

 

As for attraction, well, you can't really quantify it in a percentage. All you need to know is that she is not interested enough for you to bother trying this again.

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You've tried repeatedly to get this woman interested in you. She is not.

 

I know you'll argue and bring up things that happened weeks ago to "prove" that yes, she IS interested, but nothing she's done since that time indicates any real interest. She probably agreed to go bowling because she didn't know if she had anything else going on, but she would have been there if she really wanted to.

 

Side note, why were you meeting her there? Why, if this was intended to be a date, didn't you arrange to pick her up?

 

No i agree that she isn't interested enough, as her actions show it. She only got jealous after seeing me talking to someone better looking. She's not interested, but i think at one point she may have been. It's just so confusing that she would agree to a date, then not follow through. She likes my attention or wants to see how i will react to her standing me up.

 

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And I seen her at the local college bars because that's where people at my school go to hang out. I'm there on the weekends and we pretty much see each other every week. She's been around more, since I've met her.

 

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And in the original text message i mentioned that we would be going at 6:00PM and she said "remind her". I reminded her at 2:00PM that i will be picking her up. I went there and she was a no show. She then claimed that she was 'asleep for 5 hours' (conveniently the same amount of time from my initial text 2:00, until her text: 7:00)

 

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But i have to meet other women at this point, or i will be in trouble.

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Let this be the signal to you to not pursue girls who are this uninterested. After your last thread about her, I am unclear as to why you attempted to see her again.

 

Your problem seems to be that you ignore the signs that someone isn't into it, persist anyway, and then are disappointed with the results. She gave you a very lukewarm "maybe" when you suggested this date. Then she didn't respond to your messages the day of. All of that together should have been your cue to not count on this date happening, and certainly not to show up to the meeting place. You have to learn not to build up your expectations based on so little tangible evidence that someone is interested.

 

I think she is not worth your time anyway. She could have been a lot more gracious about canceling. Instead, you got a flimsy excuse and a rather dopey apology when she bumped into you later that same night.

 

As for attraction, well, you can't really quantify it in a percentage. All you need to know is that she is not interested enough for you to bother trying this again.

 

The only reason i attempted again is her coming up to me and hugging me. I asked her out right after that and she made an excuse about having to write a paper and thanksgiving break was coming up. I figured i'd give it one last shot before i forget about her since it may have been bad timing and she was busy. So that's why i asked her again recently, just to get a clear answer to if she liked me or not. She agreed initially, but as you've said, appeared lukewarm and eventually a no show

 

She's given me "maybe's 3/4 times i've asked her out. When i first met her, she said " okay maybe after [event]" to going out. And to 'remind her". The only time she said "okay sure" was when i immediately set a hard time and date, and made it a lunch date.

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You've tried repeatedly to get this woman interested in you. She is not.

 

I know you'll argue and bring up things that happened weeks ago to "prove" that yes, she IS interested, but nothing she's done since that time indicates any real interest. She probably agreed to go bowling because she didn't know if she had anything else going on, but she would have been there if she really wanted to.

 

Side note, why were you meeting her there? Why, if this was intended to be a date, didn't you arrange to pick her up?

 

I re-read the last statement again. To clarify, i drove my car to her place (literally down the street, on campus), since we agreed to go bowling at 6:00 PM. I sent a text hours prior saying i'd be there at 6. That was her reminder that she asked for. I just happened to see her at the bar that night (we run into each other every single weekend)

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Anyone who says 'remind me on Saturday' or whenever the date is, is NOT interested. I'm sorry but unless you are 12, when someone asks you out, you make a mental or calendar note and you go out. Her sleeping excuse was lie too. Do not give this girl the time of day. It's her loss. Really.

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Anyone who says 'remind me on Saturday' or whenever the date is, is NOT interested. I'm sorry but unless you are 12, when someone asks you out, you make a mental or calendar note and you go out. Her sleeping excuse was lie too. Do not give this girl the time of day. It's her loss. Really.

 

Yea, she was totally lying. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt up to a certain point. But i knew that she was blowing me off. This is the clear sign that i was waiting for.

 

It's weird, she said "remind me" when i first met her and asked her out. I originally took it as her playing hard to get since she was actually asking questions about myself via text, and showed clear signs of interest back then. That was 2 months ago. Either way she is not stupid. She knows that saying 'remind me' will convey a certain message and that's a possibility of a few things in my mind.

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You've tried repeatedly to get this woman interested in you. She is not.

 

I know you'll argue and bring up things that happened weeks ago to "prove" that yes, she IS interested, but nothing she's done since that time indicates any real interest. She probably agreed to go bowling because she didn't know if she had anything else going on, but she would have been there if she really wanted to.

 

Side note, why were you meeting her there? Why, if this was intended to be a date, didn't you arrange to pick her up?

 

Also, there were times that she showed interest in person/text. But there were also times she's shown not being interested as of late. I wouldn't go on a date with someone i had zero interest in. I wouldn't even waste my time entertaining it or them.

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You need to get experience with a lot more women before you can get one this difficult. I'm pursuing girls way more disinterested than this, but the only way I can do it is because I have so many going on at the same time that I could care less if one doesn't return my texts or flakes. I literally have a date every night for the next 5 nights. I will be glad if one of them cancels lol. So when I send out text messages to ten girls in the span of 5 minutes, it makes no difference to me if three or seven respond. Some will respond and those are the ones I will have conversations with until the next day.

 

Adopt this mindset. Live in abundance.

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Also, there were times that she showed interest in person/text. But there were also times she's shown not being interested as of late. I wouldn't go on a date with someone i had zero interest in. I wouldn't even waste my time entertaining it or them.

 

And she didn't.

 

She sounds young and inexperienced in life herself, so she hasn't yet learned that a flat-out "no" is the kinder and more mature option than beating around the bush and stringing the guy along.

 

She may have been interested at some point, but she isn't anymore. That's all you need to know.

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And she didn't.

 

She sounds young and inexperienced in life herself, so she hasn't yet learned that a flat-out "no" is the kinder and more mature option than beating around the bush and stringing the guy along.

 

She may have been interested at some point, but she isn't anymore. That's all you need to know.

 

I think she actually may have been somewhat interested when i asked her. (After not contacting her for a slightly longer amount of time) I think she realised she wasnt as interested when the day came. She didnt want to say "no" on the same day is what im thinking now.

 

What really showed me that she didnt care as much, was her not answering her phone when i called (after she texted me). It showed me her level of respect for me.

 

She only decided to come up to me after i flirted with that model looking girl.

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And she didn't.

 

She sounds young and inexperienced in life herself, so she hasn't yet learned that a flat-out "no" is the kinder and more mature option than beating around the bush and stringing the guy along.

 

She may have been interested at some point, but she isn't anymore. That's all you need to know.

 

And if it were me, i would just keep making excuses until they left me alone. I wouldn't give them any false hope by going up to them/hugging/agreeing with plans on going out. I think she had some interest, but realized she didn't really want to go through with it at the last minute.

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And if it were me, i would just keep making excuses until they left me alone. I wouldn't give them any false hope by going up to them/hugging/agreeing with plans on going out.

 

Don't judge people by your personal standards. Different people work differently. Girls work different than guys. You're reading too much into her actions. This is most likely because you like her so much that you want to see her actions in a way that she likes you back. It's not reality.

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Don't judge people by your personal standards. Different people work differently. Girls work different than guys. You're reading too much into her actions. This is most likely because you like her so much that you want to see her actions in a way that she likes you back. It's not reality.

 

Took the words right out my mouth

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Not to sound harsh OP but just accept that she's not interested at all and move on. Stop analyzing her previous moves in attempt to make yourself feel better. Take it as a lesson and go on with life. Life is too short

 

She is not interested now based off of these actions, i agree. I think she came up to me after being a no show, since I spoke/flirted with that really hot girl who seemed somewhat receptive. That's the only reason imo. She saw me earlier that day, so she could have spoken to me at any point.

 

I did notice that after apologizing and her saying "we're going to go to the bar across the street" and me responding with "well ill see you around", she looked like she was about to cry or was sad. She just stared me in the eyes and i left. I'm not justifying her, but i at least know she felt some sort of emotion.

 

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Either way, its concrete in my mind by how much she's not interested in me anymore, and that proved to be a lot by her actions. Someone mentioned forgetting her completely since i probably give off a neediness vibe. I think that is the only option. Find other women and not care about this anymore.

 

I was wayy to needy. Even on that same day. I should not have called her several times. I just wanted an answer tbh, so i could move on with my life instead of wondering about her for the entire winter break. Now i have my answer.

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OMG NEXT.

 

Don't even waste your time with this girl who clearly doesn't respect you. Even saying to her while you're at the bowling alley "hey are you coming, it's ok if your're not...." screams needy and beta. She's not interested. NC this one and move on.

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OMG NEXT.

 

Don't even waste your time with this girl who clearly doesn't respect you. Even saying to her while you're at the bowling alley "hey are you coming, it's ok if your're not...." screams needy and beta. She's not interested. NC this one and move on.

 

My original thinking was to get a definite answer and to convey that I didn't care if she were to come along or not. I didn't realize that's how it would sound. Also, i wasn't at the bowling alley. I showed up outside her place as i told her i would that day. (its literally right down the street, so its not like i went out of my way to go to her house)

 

I don't know if i saved this by flirting with that really hot chick at the bar and ignoring this girl. She did come up to me and apologize.

 

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By the way I saw her the other day with my friend who lives in the same apartment. The building is in the shape of a U. My friend and i went in one end of the building. While we were in the lobby getting hot chocolate, I notice her in the other building's lobby. She's just staring at me in an obvious way, but i act like i don't see her. We then leave to go into the other end of the building that she is in since its the only way to get to his place. While walking the across the courtyard she is just standing an inch away from window and staring at me and continues to the entire walk. (she was playing pool, but stopped). I look at her once and just keep walking. We walk into her side of the building and it is dead silent as we just walk past her. I don't acknowledge her (she was already behind me as i walked through the entrance). As soon as i turn the corner i hear "did he turn around" (i didn't).

 

I think she wants my attention is what is and didn't care until i made myself seem less needy by talking to other women.

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My original thinking was to get a definite answer and to convey that I didn't care if she were to come along or not. I didn't realize that's how it would sound. Also, i wasn't at the bowling alley. I showed up outside her place as i told her i would that day. (its literally right down the street, so its not like i went out of my way to go to her house)

 

I don't know if i saved this by flirting with that really hot chick at the bar and ignoring this girl. She did come up to me and apologize.

 

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By the way I saw her the other day with my friend who lives in the same apartment. The building is in the shape of a U. My friend and i went in one end of the building. While we were in the lobby getting hot chocolate, I notice her in the other building's lobby. She's just staring at me in an obvious way, but i act like i don't see her. We then leave to go into the other end of the building that she is in since its the only way to get to his place. While walking the across the courtyard she is just standing an inch away from window and staring at me and continues to the entire walk. (she was playing pool, but stopped). I look at her once and just keep walking. We walk into her side of the building and it is dead silent as we just walk past her. I don't acknowledge her (she was already behind me as i walked through the entrance). As soon as i turn the corner i hear "did he turn around" (i didn't).

 

I think she wants my attention is what is and didn't care until i made myself seem less needy by talking to other women.

 

Ok cool...whatever. Stop thinking about her and don't text her. Maybe she'll reach out, but she's already shown she's not really interested and too much work. Just find someone who wants to spend her time with you.

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Ok cool...whatever. Stop thinking about her and don't text her. Maybe she'll reach out, but she's already shown she's not really interested and too much work. Just find someone who wants to spend her time with you.

 

Yea, it's going to be hard to forget her, but i'm going to try and overshadow it with the goal of talking to other women and not be taken for a fool.

 

She may come to me, but she's pretty good looking. She could probably get any dude she wants.

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