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Thread: She stood me up

  1. #1
    10023711
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    She stood me up

    So i've posted here before. People were saying this particular girl wasn't really interested in me, and it seems to be true. Fast forward until now:


    All we've done is kissed and went out a few times. So i texted her 4 days prior and said we should go bowling. She says "okay when" and "maybe". I tell her the time and day and she says "okay remind me on saturday". (the only reason i texted her this stuff is because she actually came up to me in a bar one week ago, i originally was going to not speak to her)

    -
    Saturday comes and i text her 4 hours prior saying ill be there. No response. I show up and say "Im here. Are you coming? If not thats ok. Just tell me". No response. I call once and it goes straight to voicemail after one ring. I call again and it rings a while and she doesnt answer.

    -
    I get a text 1.5 hours later saying "sh*t sorry i was asleep". I then call her 30 mins later. No response. I then see her at the bar 5 hours later but she doesn't bother coming up to me. She sees me flirting with a legit model looking chick that i know. She literally Later that night she stares me in the eyes, *but* she has a guy hugging her. I just look away. Then she comes up to me and hugs me. She says "Sorry i honestly fell asleep for like 5 hours.... We're going to [bar name] " (she basically wanted me to come along imo).... i just nod the whole time and say "well ill see you around" and leave.

    -
    So yea, I just take it she has someone else and is just playing/testing me. I'm not going to contact her at all. I know i'll see her around bars and stuff. I'm just going to find someone i find attractive. I don't know why but no one really seems interested in me. This particular girl seemed interested. She actually texted back, and was willing to go on dates with me. Usually i wont even get a text back.
    People have said i'm attractive and stuff, so idk. I'm pretty awkward to talk to, and that is what really affected things imo. I can hold a decent conversation though.

    -
    What do you think of this all of this? Was I that low in her radar for her to do this to me? Like maybe only a 10% attraction?

  2. #2
    boltnrun
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    You've tried repeatedly to get this woman interested in you. She is not.

    I know you'll argue and bring up things that happened weeks ago to "prove" that yes, she IS interested, but nothing she's done since that time indicates any real interest. She probably agreed to go bowling because she didn't know if she had anything else going on, but she would have been there if she really wanted to.

    Side note, why were you meeting her there? Why, if this was intended to be a date, didn't you arrange to pick her up?

  3. #3
    MissCanuck
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    Let this be the signal to you to not pursue girls who are this uninterested. After your last thread about her, I am unclear as to why you attempted to see her again.

    Your problem seems to be that you ignore the signs that someone isn't into it, persist anyway, and then are disappointed with the results. She gave you a very lukewarm "maybe" when you suggested this date. Then she didn't respond to your messages the day of. All of that together should have been your cue to not count on this date happening, and certainly not to show up to the meeting place. You have to learn not to build up your expectations based on so little tangible evidence that someone is interested.

    I think she is not worth your time anyway. She could have been a lot more gracious about canceling. Instead, you got a flimsy excuse and a rather dopey apology when she bumped into you later that same night.

    As for attraction, well, you can't really quantify it in a percentage. All you need to know is that she is not interested enough for you to bother trying this again.

  4. #4
    gijeanie
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    I think I would back off. If she was really interested she will make an effort to contact you and make the date up. You will have an answer then. Just back off and give it some time.

  5. #5
    10023711
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    Quote Originally Posted by boltnrun [Register to see the link]
    You've tried repeatedly to get this woman interested in you. She is not.

    I know you'll argue and bring up things that happened weeks ago to "prove" that yes, she IS interested, but nothing she's done since that time indicates any real interest. She probably agreed to go bowling because she didn't know if she had anything else going on, but she would have been there if she really wanted to.

    Side note, why were you meeting her there? Why, if this was intended to be a date, didn't you arrange to pick her up?
    No i agree that she isn't interested enough, as her actions show it. She only got jealous after seeing me talking to someone better looking. She's not interested, but i think at one point she may have been. It's just so confusing that she would agree to a date, then not follow through. She likes my attention or wants to see how i will react to her standing me up.

    -
    And I seen her at the local college bars because that's where people at my school go to hang out. I'm there on the weekends and we pretty much see each other every week. She's been around more, since I've met her.

    -
    And in the original text message i mentioned that we would be going at 6:00PM and she said "remind her". I reminded her at 2:00PM that i will be picking her up. I went there and she was a no show. She then claimed that she was 'asleep for 5 hours' (conveniently the same amount of time from my initial text 2:00, until her text: 7:00)

    -
    But i have to meet other women at this point, or i will be in trouble.

  6. #6
    10023711
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissCanuck [Register to see the link]
    Let this be the signal to you to not pursue girls who are this uninterested. After your last thread about her, I am unclear as to why you attempted to see her again.

    Your problem seems to be that you ignore the signs that someone isn't into it, persist anyway, and then are disappointed with the results. She gave you a very lukewarm "maybe" when you suggested this date. Then she didn't respond to your messages the day of. All of that together should have been your cue to not count on this date happening, and certainly not to show up to the meeting place. You have to learn not to build up your expectations based on so little tangible evidence that someone is interested.

    I think she is not worth your time anyway. She could have been a lot more gracious about canceling. Instead, you got a flimsy excuse and a rather dopey apology when she bumped into you later that same night.

    As for attraction, well, you can't really quantify it in a percentage. All you need to know is that she is not interested enough for you to bother trying this again.
    The only reason i attempted again is her coming up to me and hugging me. I asked her out right after that and she made an excuse about having to write a paper and thanksgiving break was coming up. I figured i'd give it one last shot before i forget about her since it may have been bad timing and she was busy. So that's why i asked her again recently, just to get a clear answer to if she liked me or not. She agreed initially, but as you've said, appeared lukewarm and eventually a no show

    She's given me "maybe's 3/4 times i've asked her out. When i first met her, she said " okay maybe after [event]" to going out. And to 'remind her". The only time she said "okay sure" was when i immediately set a hard time and date, and made it a lunch date.

  7. #7
    10023711
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    Quote Originally Posted by boltnrun [Register to see the link]
    You've tried repeatedly to get this woman interested in you. She is not.

    I know you'll argue and bring up things that happened weeks ago to "prove" that yes, she IS interested, but nothing she's done since that time indicates any real interest. She probably agreed to go bowling because she didn't know if she had anything else going on, but she would have been there if she really wanted to.

    Side note, why were you meeting her there? Why, if this was intended to be a date, didn't you arrange to pick her up?
    I re-read the last statement again. To clarify, i drove my car to her place (literally down the street, on campus), since we agreed to go bowling at 6:00 PM. I sent a text hours prior saying i'd be there at 6. That was her reminder that she asked for. I just happened to see her at the bar that night (we run into each other every single weekend)

  8. #8
    fabact
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    Anyone who says 'remind me on Saturday' or whenever the date is, is NOT interested. I'm sorry but unless you are 12, when someone asks you out, you make a mental or calendar note and you go out. Her sleeping excuse was lie too. Do not give this girl the time of day. It's her loss. Really.

  9. #9
    10023711
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    Quote Originally Posted by fabact [Register to see the link]
    Anyone who says 'remind me on Saturday' or whenever the date is, is NOT interested. I'm sorry but unless you are 12, when someone asks you out, you make a mental or calendar note and you go out. Her sleeping excuse was lie too. Do not give this girl the time of day. It's her loss. Really.
    Yea, she was totally lying. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt up to a certain point. But i knew that she was blowing me off. This is the clear sign that i was waiting for.

    It's weird, she said "remind me" when i first met her and asked her out. I originally took it as her playing hard to get since she was actually asking questions about myself via text, and showed clear signs of interest back then. That was 2 months ago. Either way she is not stupid. She knows that saying 'remind me' will convey a certain message and that's a possibility of a few things in my mind.

  10. #10
    10023711
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    Quote Originally Posted by boltnrun [Register to see the link]
    You've tried repeatedly to get this woman interested in you. She is not.

    I know you'll argue and bring up things that happened weeks ago to "prove" that yes, she IS interested, but nothing she's done since that time indicates any real interest. She probably agreed to go bowling because she didn't know if she had anything else going on, but she would have been there if she really wanted to.

    Side note, why were you meeting her there? Why, if this was intended to be a date, didn't you arrange to pick her up?
    Also, there were times that she showed interest in person/text. But there were also times she's shown not being interested as of late. I wouldn't go on a date with someone i had zero interest in. I wouldn't even waste my time entertaining it or them.

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