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Thread: How to be at peace with a breakup?

  1. #1
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    How to be at peace with a breakup?

    What made you give up/forget about your ex who broke up with you?
    -is it hatred towards him or other emotion?

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    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Self respect. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't value me.

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    Platinum Member journeynow's Avatar
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    The realization that I am not compatible with someone who breaks our relationship. It just doesn't fit my definition of compatibility.

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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Self respect. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't value me.
    Originally Posted by journeynow
    The realization that I am not compatible with someone who breaks our relationship. It just doesn't fit my definition of compatibility.
    That pretty much the mindset I was in when the break up happened, two months ago.
    It is a lot more difficult now...

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    Originally Posted by driedoutonion
    That pretty much the mindset I was in when the break up happened, two months ago.
    It is a lot more difficult now...
    What mindset do you have now? What are your thoughts about this?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by driedoutonion
    That pretty much the mindset I was in when the break up happened, two months ago.
    It is a lot more difficult now...
    Sounds like it's time for you to stretch your wings a bit then, get out more, make some new friends, do something interesting, maybe head out on a date or two, etc. Don't stagnate in the same old same old and getting lonely and starting to feel that void. Fill it with fun stuff.

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    Originally Posted by firelily
    What mindset do you have now? What are your thoughts about this?
    I'm an emotional mess.
    I miss her, I love her and I hate her for doing this to me.
    The worst thing is imagining her someone else, or thinking about her dating other people, it really kills me. It's the most difficult part.

    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    Sounds like it's time for you to stretch your wings a bit then, get out more, make some new friends, do something interesting, maybe head out on a date or two, etc. Don't stagnate in the same old same old and getting lonely and starting to feel that void. Fill it with fun stuff.
    I've been on several dates since the breakup, all it did for me is to enhance my feelings towards my ex.
    Really not feeling it at the moment, I'm not in a condition to meet girls at the moment.


    Thanks for your replies by the way.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Then not dating, certainly, but definitely expand your social circle and other activities. Keep yourself busy doing what you love and if nothing comes to mind, then just start doing/trying random things, hobbies, sports, etc. Try out meetup.com and see what's in your area that might be fun to do and just go. You are dwelling and only way to break that up is with activities that make you happy or simply occupy your mind and time. Join a sports league maybe. Nothing like coming home pleasantly exhausted, too exhausted to give your ex any head space.

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    Originally Posted by driedoutonion
    I'm an emotional mess.
    I miss her, I love her and I hate her for doing this to me.
    The worst thing is imagining her someone else, or thinking about her dating other people, it really kills me. It's the most difficult part.


    I've been on several dates since the breakup, all it did for me is to enhance my feelings towards my ex.
    Really not feeling it at the moment, I'm not in a condition to meet girls at the moment.


    Thanks for your replies by the way.
    I want to take you under my wing and protect your broken heart, this is all very sad

    Listen, I tried dating too, it made me feel worse. So, don't do it until you are ready.
    And when you are, don't compare. No one will ever be her. You will have to embrace
    someone new for the different qualities they have to offer. Know what you like, though,
    and don't settle for less.

    You should be social with friends, family, hangouts. Being around positive people doing things you
    enjoy will help. What about video games? Guys can get lost in those for hours, lol

    Try not to let your mind wander about who she is with or what she's doing. It doesn't mean she's
    happy necessarily. And every relationship has issues. For you to think she will be having fun and
    living the high life every day isn't reality.

    This is time to build upon yourself, find happiness without her, and believe me if ever you cross paths
    again, she will love the new light shining upon you. Even if it's the end forever.
    You were holding out for so long that now you have to grieve. Go through the steps. Anger is good,
    it will push you forward. The day will come when you won't hate her. I was feeling the same until my recent
    ex reached out this week, and suddenly the anger released and I've not lost one nights sleep. That was what I
    needed to get me through. I refuse to contact him. If he keeps reaching out, I'll reply. But if not, I'm fine with it.
    It took almost three months for this. There's no saying how long it will take, but there is light ahead for you
    thru this dark time. Believe in yourself. Value yourself. The strength will come.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member journeynow's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by driedoutonion
    That pretty much the mindset I was in when the break up happened, two months ago.
    It is a lot more difficult now...
    Understandable. It can a roller coaster. I found it got tougher a few months in. Perhaps there is some shock and numbness at the beginning? The intensity you are feeling may be part of the healing process.

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