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Thread: Needing some clarity

  1. #1
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    Needing some clarity

    So there was this guy that I liked years ago and went on a few dates with but it never progressed further than that. This year we started speaking again but I never thought much of it, the conversations at times would turn a little sexual and last week I went to his and we had sex. When we said goodbye, we told each other to have a good Xmas etc as heís going away for Christmas so Iím not going to see him until the new year.

    I didnít think much of it though, just kind of thought it was something casual that Iíd like to do again but since then Iíve been thinking more and more about him and I donít know why? Because up until last week, I didnít have feelings for him so now Iím confused as to why I feel I may have feelings again. What do I do? I kind of want to message him, but not sure what the point is, especially since I wonít see him until January but Iím feeling quite conflicted?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    You mean he's going away at Christmas (which is a few weeks away) and he's not contacting you or asking to see you again before then?

    I don't think you have 'feelings' for him, I think you are romanticizing the sex and the lead up to it instead of looking at it realistically. If he's not contacting you or asking to see you again then he's certainly not looking for anything serious and, if you're thinking you have 'feelings' then the worse thing you could be doing is continuing on in a casual sexual dynamic with him.

    Its pretty obvious that you're not going to be able to compartmentalize sex and love so don't contact him. Let him contact you and if you're smart, you'll make sure he goes on an actual date with you and doesn't just want you at his or him at yours for more non-committed sex.

    Of course you'll do what gives you instant gratification instead of maintaining your personal boundaries and looking out for your emotional health most likely. (I'm sure you'll tell me if I'm wrong).

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    You mean he's going away at Christmas (which is a few weeks away) and he's not contacting you or asking to see you again before then?
    Well heís not here from now until the new year as heís finished for his semester at university so he doesnít live here in the mean time and heís gone away for Christmas as well

  4. #4
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by shemmyemmy23
    Well heís not here from now until the new year as heís finished for his semester at university so he doesnít live here in the mean time and heís gone away for Christmas as well
    But does that mean he can't text you or call you or skype with you? If he's interested in more then another sex session, then he'll keep in touch someway, one would think... at least until he goes away for Christmas anyway.

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