Dad is mad that I'm going on dates with...

[TulipWriter]

...a guy named Mike who is divorced, with 2 kids of his own. Mike's ex-wife and two kids live in Virginia; as you can see from my profile information, I'm 33 years old and live in New England. Mike is 31 and made it clear to me that, while he does pay child support, his "kids and ex have their own lives in Virginia."

I don't want kids; I'm also autistic. My mom and dad are both like, "He has so much baggage! Keep in mind that his kids will always come first before you!"

Honestly?[U] And I'm not just saying this I get a sense that while Mike does love his children, he's not in their lives that much at all. And obviously, I am really liking Mike. I want to keep seeing him. (But I don't want to get married, ever.)

Obviously, I needed to rant. I did eventually say to my mom, "Look, it's just a few dates. Dinner and a movie. Let's all calm down."

All feedback/opinions welcome.

[ThatwasThen]

Why are you wanting to date someone that is long distance? What is the point in that unless you're looking for a sex buddy that you'll only see when one of you saves up enough money to get to the other?

Where did you meet this guy and how do you know what he tells you is the truth?

[TulipWriter]

Why are you wanting to date someone that is long distance?

Mike lives in Massachusetts now. His ex wife and kids live in Virginia.

What is the point in that unless you're looking for a sex buddy that you'll only see when one of you saves up enough money to get to the other?

I would never just be a sex buddy. I would love to spend quality time with him.

Where did you meet this guy and how do you know what he tells you is the truth?

Mike and I met on Tinder; we then connected via Facebook and have been on a few dates now.

[ThatwasThen]

Mike lives in Massachusetts now. His ex wife and kids live in Virginia.


I would never just be a sex buddy. I would love to spend quality time with him.


Mike and I met on Tinder; we then connected via Facebook and have been on a few dates now.

Would you be happy with a man that had very little to do with his own children? You lament that you don't think he has much to do with them. Does that not speak to a shirker or someone who lacks responsibility to you?

[Batya33]

I agree with Thatwasthen.

[TulipWriter]

Would you be happy with a man that had very little to do with his own children? You lament that you don't think he has much to do with them. Does that not speak to a shirker or someone who lacks responsibility to you?

I believe he sees them once a month. And he does pay child support. I’m actually still not totally sure what the whole situation is.

[~Seraphim ~]

Someone who ignores kids he created is no stellar prize. At least not to me. Shows integral lack of moral fiber.

[TulipWriter]

Someone who ignores kids he created is no stellar prize. At least not to me. Shows integral lack of moral fiber.

He sees them once a month and pays child support. His ex wife (obviously) has full custody.

[~Seraphim ~]

He sees them once a month and pays child support. His ex wife (obviously) has full custody.

Once a month is not enough to see your kids.

[TulipWriter]

He lives in Massachusetts now. His ex wife and kids in virginia. After the divorce was final he moved back to Massachusetts because he had a breakdown (similar to mine, actually) and needed help. .