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Thread: Dad is mad that I'm going on dates with...

  1. #61
    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    My mom told me this morning that Dad is very upset that I'm seeing Mike. I said to her, "We're enjoying our time together and we're not getting married!" She at least wanted me to assure that to Dad. Tonight Dad even said to me, "I hope you're not getting serious with this guy! He's married with 2 kids!" When I told him Mike is divorced, he said, "In the eyes of God he's still married." (Dad's very Roman Catholic.) My mom seems to be accepting of the situation, of course my dad isn't.

    I told Dad Mike and I are just friends. Obviously that's not true. But I don't have much of a choice.

    Mike and I agreed to be a couple in secret for a few months before going public with it. I really am enjoying my time with him.

  2. #62
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    Does anyone actually know what the reasons for Mike not being a full-time father are? Do you know, Tulip?

    I have a friend who was once in similar shoes. He battled with some serious mental health issues subsequent to his separation with his wife (and prior to). Despite his sincerest desire to be a fully present father, he wasn't capable for a period of time. After that period, he ran into a series of obstacles with the mother of his children. Some of them based on their relationship together. Some of them based on her concerns over his mental stability. Some of them to do with how much time she would allow him to spend (shared custody results in reduced or negated child support).

    Anyway. I didn't read anywhere what his circumstances are. Maybe I missed it.

    I think people are just encouraging you to go into this with your eyes open, Tulip. You don't know all the details yet. Mike has a past, and some baggage (who doesn't). Could be he's moved through some difficult times, and he'll be a better man for it. Hopefully that's the case.
    Maybe he wants a more substantial role with his kids and he hasn't fully shared that with you. Who knows.

    Lots of question marks. No one can live your life for you though.

    Good luck :)

  3. #63
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    Great post 90! All the best Tulip.

  4. #64
    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    Mike was suicidal shortly after he and his wife divorced. He almost went through with it but was rescued and got the help he needed. (Interestingly, I went through a similar situation around the same time.)

    Thanks for feedback/encouragement. 🙂

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  6. #65
    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    In case any of you are curious, Mike and I decided to stop seeing each other. I was getting sick of all the sneaking around and lying that we had to do. Also, I think deep down I also knew that dating a guy who is divorced with 2 kids would never work out in the long run/the end anyway.

    Thanks however, for everyone who took the time to read and give feedback. :)

  7. #66
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Very good. A right decision, Tulip.

  8. #67
    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Very good. A right decision, Tulip.
    Indeed. I was just remembering, he admitted to me that he & his ex-wife had their 2 children to save their marriage. Obviously that was wrong, lol.

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