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Thread: Dad is mad that I'm going on dates with...

  1. #11
    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    And yes, he got the help he needed and is all better now. If he wasn’t, trust me, I wouldn’t be seeing him.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TulipWriter
    And yes, he got the help he needed and is all better now. If he wasn’t, trust me, I wouldn’t be seeing him.
    You've only been on a few dates with him. I don't think you're in a position to be saying (with certainty) that he's "better now." Be careful Tulip.

  3. #13
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TulipWriter
    ...a guy named Mike who is divorced, with 2 kids of his own.

    I don't want kids; I'm also autistic. My mom and dad are both like, "He has so much baggage! Keep in mind that his kids will always come first before you!"
    Your parents are absolutely right - his children will always come before you. If you never want children then you are dating the wrong guy. They are a package deal and always will be. Seems a pointless exercise.

  4. #14
    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    You've only been on a few dates with him. I don't think you're in a position to be saying (with certainty) that he's "better now." Be careful Tulip.
    Thanks for looking out for me. I once heard, “Trust your gut instinct, because no matter what, it’s always right.”

    A married guy from high school last year asked me to meet him at Panara. I felt really weird about that, so I said, “We’re old friends meeting for coffee? Are you sure your wife won’t mind?” He said, “Hopefully she’ll see it that way.” I blocked him from Facebook.

    I felt totally awkward when I went on a drive with a guy during college one night. He later said he had a few beers. (I believe I have a guardian angel.)

    My gut is telling me Mike is genuinely a good guy. I’m trusting that.

    Thanks for feedback.

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  6. #15
    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Capricorn3
    Your parents are absolutely right - his children will always come before you.
    His kids live 7 hours away. He says he sees them once a month and that’s it. (Maybe twice a month in the years to follow, he mentioned.) He also said when they get older they will probably FaceTime.

    Look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell—-Kate Hudson said she considers Kurt to be her father. (Even said she “doesn’t know her real father from a hole in the wall.”)

  7. #16
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    I don't understand where the analogy to Goldie Hawn comes from?.

    This situation does not look good. My opinion.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TulipWriter
    Look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell—-Kate Hudson said she considers Kurt to be her father. (Even said she “doesn’t know her real father from a hole in the wall.”)
    Wouldn't you rather date the man who steps up to the plate, and NOT date the hole in the wall?

    Mike left young children to be raised by his ex wife, alone. You can make whatever excuses you want for him, but bottom line is that it takes a very self-centered person to excuse himself from parenthood like that. This is a grown man that we're speaking of.

    Do you think the mother will leave the children when she has her nervous breakdown?

    Also, child support is a joke. The average monthly payment in this country is less than $500 ($6000K per year!!).
    Last edited by Jibralta; 11-26-2017 at 05:05 AM.

  9. #18
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    How do you think the kids feel about having a mostly-absentee father?

  10. #19
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    Wouldn't you rather date the man who steps up to the plate, and NOT date the hole in the wall?

    Mike left young children to be raised by his ex wife, alone. You can make whatever excuses you want for him, but bottom line is that it takes a very self-centered person to excuse himself from parenthood like that. This is a grown man that we're speaking of.

    Do you think the mother will leave the children when she has her nervous breakdown?

    Also, child support is a joke. The average monthly payment in this country is less than $500 ($6000K per year!!).
    Exactly. I had a nervous breakdown and never left my child.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by TulipWriter
    Thanks for looking out for me. I once heard, “Trust your gut instinct, because no matter what, it’s always right.”

    A married guy from high school last year asked me to meet him at Panara. I felt really weird about that, so I said, “We’re old friends meeting for coffee? Are you sure your wife won’t mind?” He said, “Hopefully she’ll see it that way.” I blocked him from Facebook.

    I felt totally awkward when I went on a drive with a guy during college one night. He later said he had a few beers. (I believe I have a guardian angel.)

    My gut is telling me Mike is genuinely a good guy. I’m trusting that.

    Thanks for feedback.
    I don't think it's your gut talking. You think it is -I think you're biased because you're enjoying the little rebellion against your own father and because this guy is ultimately unavailable so it's safe to date him since you don't want marriage or kids and he can't give you either of those things. Is he on meds for his nervous breakdown?

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