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Thread: Journal..

  1. #381
    Gold Member
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    Nov 2017
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    Hi all,

    I hope everyone is doing OK! :)

    Just a little update my end..

    Well, I was going to mention initially that the last of the ex "major" dates post break-up had now been and gone (our respective birthdays) a couple of weeks ago, quite close together and nothing.. The last remaining date before the 1 year split anniversary, next month. This got me to thinking that this could well be "it" and would never hear from her again.. It all seemed so distant and I am happily with someone else, becoming publicly official, planning the future, living life etc etc.

    Low and behold a text arrives in this afternoon, completely out of the blue.. "Do you still have my ____ jacket?".. The jacket in question must be worth no more than 20 and has not once been asked after in 11 months since the split (she left many many clothes at my house and said at the time she had no want/need for them). I deleted the last message in June and didn't respond (her asking me if I wanted something I had left at her house).. The picture is again just of her with lyrics to a sad break up song attached...

    I just don't get this.. since January I have not made any contact at all, but this is the 4th message from her now, all 2-3 months apart. I still have not even seen her around.

    As I said, I deleted the message.. I see no need to block or respond but she is renting the space in my head again :(

  2. #382
    Platinum Member
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    I'm so happy to hear you're happy and well, and moved on! And I hope your son is well

    Clearly given her pic with a verse of a break up song means she's single and sniffing back around again.
    Good riddens, just for how she acted that affected your son is reason enough to never look back.
    Lame way to contact, sending a cold msg asking if you have her jacket. I'd not reply either.
    Again, in nearly a year, and not once did she ark for your son, pfffttttt to her.

    I wish you all the happiness you are so deserving of!

  3. #383
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Posts
    268
    Originally Posted by sputnik123
    Hi all,

    I hope everyone is doing OK! :)

    Just a little update my end..

    Well, I was going to mention initially that the last of the ex "major" dates post break-up had now been and gone (our respective birthdays) a couple of weeks ago, quite close together and nothing.. The last remaining date before the 1 year split anniversary, next month. This got me to thinking that this could well be "it" and would never hear from her again.. It all seemed so distant and I am happily with someone else, becoming publicly official, planning the future, living life etc etc.

    Low and behold a text arrives in this afternoon, completely out of the blue.. "Do you still have my ____ jacket?".. The jacket in question must be worth no more than 20 and has not once been asked after in 11 months since the split (she left many many clothes at my house and said at the time she had no want/need for them). I deleted the last message in June and didn't respond (her asking me if I wanted something I had left at her house).. The picture is again just of her with lyrics to a sad break up song attached...

    I just don't get this.. since January I have not made any contact at all, but this is the 4th message from her now, all 2-3 months apart. I still have not even seen her around.

    As I said, I deleted the message.. I see no need to block or respond but she is renting the space in my head again :(
    I'm nearing that point myself. While my birthday is long passed, her birthday is coming up, what was/were our anniversaries (formalizing it vs not anniversaries), and the 1-year date from the breakup not long after that. Like you, I largely stopped contacting her, but she sent me text messages (for me, 1-2 months apart) through the point when I blocked her. While I am concerned of what might happen around this time, I feel some security knowing that I won't do anything and that I have her blocked.

    A friend had told me, based on his experiences with his own exes that were behaving similarly, that my ex would text me "once a month until she got married to someone else". It doesn't mean anything other than her feeling some kind of need to text you, for her own benefits or reasons, and usually for things that don't mean much. I opted to block her because it didn't feel good for me, and especially since you are dating someone else, I think you should block her because she's most likely going to continue this, and her renting your head space is a larger issue now when in a relationship with someone else than it was before when you were just single / recovering (it will lead to emotional unavailability in some capacity for short periods of time every 2-3 months).

    Keep up the good work. I don't think it's good to respond during the young (first year or two) stages of a new relationship (nor during tougher times of a later stage. Only really might be okay when you're established with someone else and happy), and I think there's the simple benefit of independence and focus from blocking her from the main avenues of communication (in this case, phone).
    Last edited by 11moreweeks; 09-12-2018 at 03:52 PM.

  4. #384
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    It's the 'Indirect/Direct' approach, as Craig Kenneth likes to call it. Play it as you see fit buddy*

    There's also a widespread theory that it is when you've finally met someone else and are truly moving on, this is when this kind of thing happens.

    You are now in that club Sput..! :)

    Always good to 'see' you and that your post pulled SweetGirl out of hiding...hehe..

    I always knew you'd make it*

    Regards

    Carus*

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