Progress

It's been a few months of an unofficial breakup, 2 months since the official breakup, and 3 weeks of NC... Though that one contact consisted of only one email from me, after not responding to his attempts at contacting me for a few weeks after the official breakup, and i didn't reply back to his email.

My willpower has only strengthened and my lack of desire to take him back if the opportunity comes around has also strengthened. Seems I dislike him more and more every day. I must say though, as a dumpee, i look forward to the day when he'll blatantly reveal his guilt and admit his wrongdoings to me in an attempt to win me over. What a happy day that'll be. I'm not waiting on it, i already know he holds guilt, but it's nice to predict his future remorse.

Meanwhile, my life has been improving in many ways. Work being the most significant one, but also my social life. I have no interest in beginning a serious relationship anytime soon, but I am becoming quite the serial dater. I know i can have nearly any guy I'd like right now, but i really enjoy this single lifestyle. It's much less stressful and more fun, which doesn't mean I'm partying or sleeping around, I'm just enjoying making my life more worthwhile.

I hope everyone else out there facing similar issues as me reaches a point in which they feel content without the dumper in their life. I'm very glad I cut him out even though he wanted to remain relevant. You must do it. Take time for yourself.

Can someone tell me how to delete posts btw? Lol

I dont think you can delete posts here on ENA...

And... I saw DM last month in concert... GREAT show. Did you get a chance to go see them?

You can delete your posts by becoming a paying supporter. See Settings > Paid Subscriptions for more info.

That's awesome! Moving in the right direction!!!

I hope everyone else out there facing similar issues as me reaches a point in which they feel content without the dumper in their life. I'm very glad I cut him out even though he wanted to remain relevant. You must do it. Take time for yourself.

I've been letting her come around me when she's upset and supporting her post breakup for 3 months...all in a hope that we were working things out...

Thankyou for this....I can't wait for the pain to stop...It''s affecting every bit of my life!

@No1

I did not i saw them a few years ago at the staples center tho! Amazing as always. I'm glad u got to see them

I've been letting her come around me when she's upset and supporting her post breakup for 3 months...all in a hope that we were working things out...

 

Thankyou for this....I can't wait for the pain to stop...It''s affecting every bit of my life!

 

Nooooo! Stop being her emotional support please she'll never realize your value if u let her walk all over you. I wish you luck, but please go nc.

That's awesome! Moving in the right direction!!!

Thank you 😁 i wish u luck in your endeavors as well. The key is letting ur disappointment traumatize u into wanting to improve your life as much as possible

Nooooo! Stop being her emotional support please she'll never realize your value if u let her walk all over you. I wish you luck, but please go nc.

Thankyou. I wish I was strong enough to do that from the start.

I am in NC now because she sent me the 'I won't be contacting you anymore' email....

So she's done a good job of weaning off me, coming to me when she was upset, not eating, not sleeping and now she's gone and I'm dealing with the post traumatic stress.

6 years and a marriage that everyone adored down the drain because she 'doesn't know how she feels'.

Although she obviously does now...

It amazes me with all the violent and neglectful relationships out there that she would throw away such an amazing one for such little reasons.

I look forward to being where you are.

Thankyou x

6 years and a marriage that everyone adored down the drain because she 'doesn't know how she

Boy do i know the feeling them words can have on someone.

Try and be positive Carus at least you are no longer on a string. You can start to heal.

Im still being dangled and although the last day or two have been good i know the second she is back i will fall apart.

I hope we can all recover. I know ive been treading water for the last few years. I need to get out and live life.

Stay strong Piaresssss

Stay strong Piaresssss

Thanks. I actually got an admin text from her today. She has not messaged me asking how ive been once but does when she needs something

i feel your pain mate.. i have not had one nice word from her in the 6 weeks since split and nothing at all in 3

i feel your pain mate.. i have not had one nice word from her in the 6 weeks since split and nothing at all in 3

Every time i start getting better she pops back up. It is torture

Have you actually asked her to not contact you?

ask her not to contact you.. you need the space to heal

Have you actually asked her to not contact you?

Yes i have. That was to weeks ago. I sent her a long message about how i still loved her and accepted that she no longer wanted to be with me and being friends was to hard for me. Then said we should not see each other or talk till both off us are ready and she has wroked out how she feels as she kept saying she didnt know.

She agreed to it. Then 5mins later said if i want to meet she is there. I get her not asking how i am these past two weeks but before that it sucked.

Hmm...Sounds like the last 3 months of my life...over and over....

But are we back together? No....She has finally gone...

Be careful Piaressss*

Hmm...Sounds like the last 3 months of my life...over and over....

 

But are we back together? No....She has finally gone...

 

Be careful Piaressss*

Thats exactly why i told her to not contact me so i cam get over her, so i can get to the point i dont need her.

It really is a good feeling, isn't it? I do still have moments where I'll check out his FB because something came up on mine in the "On This Day" app where he had responded or tagged me or I posted to him. I'll be going on 5 months of no contact between us on Friday. 7 months ago, I really still clung to the idea of us getting back together, and he fed that, but then pulled back. He constantly begged to remain "friends" fully knowing what I still wanted, and he did it because he liked the idea of having someone wanting him that he could dismiss whenever he wanted. It was that 2 months in between that I really started to see things clearly and realized what he was doing. it gave me that strength to finally say "I have no reason to remain friends with you".

I think we all still have those moments where they try come crawling back though, and we get to reject THEM. I think in time, those will pass too.

Thankyou. I wish I was strong enough to do that from the start.

 

I am in NC now because she sent me the 'I won't be contacting you anymore' email....

 

So she's done a good job of weaning off me, coming to me when she was upset, not eating, not sleeping and now she's gone and I'm dealing with the post traumatic stress.

 

6 years and a marriage that everyone adored down the drain because she 'doesn't know how she feels'.

 

Although she obviously does now...

 

It amazes me with all the violent and neglectful relationships out there that she would throw away such an amazing one for such little reasons.

 

I look forward to being where you are.

 

Thankyou x

I did not do nc from the start either. I tried, but he reeled me in. It wasn't until it became more official that we were separated and me ignoring his hope to remain relevant that it really started.

I'm sorry you've had to go through that, but like the title of this site, you're not alone! We all empathise with you at some level.

Even though I've said that my disappointment and disinterest has really propelled me in life post-breakup, another thing that keeps me going is, ironically enough, the possibility that he really could come back to me. That's not to say I'd get back with him, cuz i won't, but I've read so many posts and know so many different scenarios in which a dumper will come back to the dumpee at some point, no matter what occurred. It may seem like the end, but anything is possible, really. Just don't let that hope hold u back, let it lift you up. Ignorance is bliss in this case! I have a lot of things in my case that tell me he'll be back, but i definitely don't ever expect him to. I just continue to move on and forget about the whole thing as best i can, and you should too

Reading u guys' posts makes me sad cuz ur doing NC all wrong!

Do not respond to them at all! Remove them from your life completely! that means deleting every trace of them offline AND online! Delete his fb presence, TiredofDating! Doing anything else is self torture.

Ignorance is bliss for dumpees. It sounds weird, but honestly, you shouldn't care what the hell they're up to. They r no longer that source of happiness you once thought them to be, now they're the opposite. Don't spoil ur chances at validation by continuing to be used as a weak doormat, even if it seems they still love you. Mine still has feelings for me, but those feelings mean nothing to me until the day he wants to reconcile.

You're doing urself a favor by avoiding them.