Depression

Hi,

So GF decided to break up with me due to her to depression she says she feels no emotions (her depression is about family issues not about us) we decided to start speaking as friends and shortly after I didn't want that anymore because from what I've seen this break up hasn't affected her at all in any way, she hasn't spoke about it and it's like nothing happened. For example she was filling out a form to me on the phone and when she got to relationship status she kinda shouted 'I'm a single ' which hurt to hear. She said it was done with no emotion and she said she still loves me and that it's not the complete end of us but I feel like she's going to find someone else and move on (as our relationship is long distance) it was great until she was depressed we planned out future we went on dates at least once a month before she moved it was on average every week. She said it makes her sad that I'm not there physically but I've tried my absolute hardest to be there for her like staying up till 3am to talk about her issues or her waking me up in the middle of the night to talk or when she calls I stop whatever I'm doing so I can give her attention I done all this so she can feel like someone is there for her. And anytime she was cold to me she just said 'I have no emotions' I get that but I feel that is just an excuse anyway should I stay and hope for the future or should I try move on. P.S she is seeing a therapist.

Move on mate , and do not be her go to person ever again ... she lost the right to unload her crap on you the minute she ended it . Honestly there must be 10 posts a day like this ....I would never dream of dumping someone then having the cheek to turn to that person when I am down or have a problem or am lonely , and you and everyone else who has the same story , stays in this place of *therapist/friends/lonely hearts column because you think it is a chance to reconcile ...it isn't ...

When someone loves you and wants you ....they don't dump you . This is your time now to heal , move on and start living again .

Move on mate , and do not be her go to person ever again ... she lost the right to unload her crap on you the minute she ended it . Honestly there must be 10 posts a day like this ....I would never dream of dumping someone then having the cheek to turn to that person when I am down or have a problem or am lonely , and you and everyone else who has the same story , stays in this place of *therapist/friends/lonely hearts column because you think it is a chance to reconcile ...it isn't ...

 

When someone loves you and wants you ....they don't dump you . This is your time now to heal , move on and start living again .

I get where you are coming but she only wanted to break up because shes depressed and she doesn't want to pretend to be happy

In a similar situation myself. So she's in therapy—great. But you need to just give her the space to let that play out and see where it leads. In the meantime, just do you for now, as that's the most important thing.

In a similar situation myself. So she's in therapy—great. But you need to just give her the space to let that play out and see where it leads. In the meantime, just do you for now, as that's the most important thing.

Sadly I went with the first person's advice and told her that we shouldn't contact each other initially she ignored the message then, she just replied with 'okay' so it kinda shows how unimportant I've become now to have such little impact.

Depression really is a terrible illness. You said she seems unaffected by the breakup? People with depression get very good at hiding it my friend. Appearances can be very deceptive. If there's one thing I have learned is that you cant be responsible for her happiness, its her responsibility. I agree with other posts, cut her off so she can work through her issues.

Good luck.

James,

You deserve to be happy and it sounds like you really tried at this long distance relationship. You tried to help with her depression, but you are not a professional (I don't think). I recommend going no contact and work on yourself. Get out to the gym a few times a week. If you belong to a church get there and volunteer there or elsewhere if possible. Dive into your school work or work like a robot.

Go no contact to work on you.

Yes,i believe is terrible to be depressed .What i did experienced and did see"not OP post necessary is shutting down to partner and shifting to talking to someone else or some one new .

UPDATE:

Decided to message her just to she how’s she’s doing and she blocked me instantly. So yh I guess I know for sure I need to forget her, it’s just sad how things ended up this way after I’ve done nothing wrong or that we had our best date 2 weeks prior to her breaking up with me. But I no longer wish for a relationship with her which is progress I guess. All I hope is that she realises how bad she treated me and learns from it. Thank you all for the support you’ve given me.